Am I not creating a problem for myself, what am I doing for this problem to be solved. If I had known, I would have waited till she got married.
I knew all that but I didn’t want to stop myself, I wanted to claim her right there on the spot, I wanted to tell her that I also loved her and wished I could go against the pack, but I was afraid of what my words were going to cost me, what my words were going to create.
How many lives and blood will be lost, I was so down and I had to stand strong and held my cool.
We argued for what felt like an hour.
I had to walk out on her because my wolf nearly popped out of me, intending to mark her and I wasn’t going to let that happen, the consequences will be dire.
Those words, her actions still left me stunned, she needed me to be her husband, that is quite funny, isn’t it?
I went to my chambers deep in my thoughts, remembering everything she said to me and I felt sorry for her. I leaned against the wall and sat down on the floor in exhaustion.
Fuck, I was hard.
My dick is hard and I could feel it nearly poking out of my trousers.
I laughed bitterly and nearly cursed the moon goddess for doing this to me. What kind of torture was this, I couldn’t possibly ruin my life because of my mate, a mate I couldn’t even protect.
And you might also be wondering why can’t I just reject her, end things and move on.
You want to know the truth because I can’t and for sure that’s quite cunning to not be able to reject someone even the Alpha or neither the other gender could do it, because it has a pull, the bond and the love in each other is preventing any of us from doing it, which I secretly knew.
To be able to reject each other, we both have to come to a decision or one of us takes the bold step, well, too bad none of us do.
Well, I also love her too much to do that, I’m scared of causing her so much pain, even though I’m hurting her, I’m fearful of what is going to go on if I should accept her.
You get what I mean, I am spooked and I don’t want to do this to her, she is the only one in my life right now, my first love and I wasn’t ready to let her go.
I just want to keep seeing her every day, sit beside her, eat together, have lots of fun together, go on dates, rule the realm and fuck all day in bed, get her fucking pregnant to produce my children.
I am in a worse difficult situation than she is and I want her to understand that she just found out I am her mate I have known for a long time who she was to me and I knew what I went through, suffered so much pain especially during the full moon when I shift into my wolf form because I am not with my mate, I went through hell and I don’t want to go through that again.
Well, that’s what I keep telling myself.
I don’t want to go through that again, guess what, I am going through that and I love everything about Oceana.
She is an impressive young Alpha, anyone would be proud of her.
I am proud of her.
On second thought, why did I come back to the realm? It was because of my father, he wants me to…
“Gérard.” I glanced up and Emily was walking towards me with a smile. “What are you doing here, sweetheart, I have been searching all over the place for you.”
I quickly got up from the floor and used my long leather jacket to cover my front, hiding my erection from her.
I don’t want questions upon questions.
“Is anything, the matter Gerard, you look like you were in some deep thought?” She asked with concern, touching my jaw softly.
I took her hand from it. “There is nothing wrong, I was just thinking about the realm.”
“Then, it must be something serious, since you were sitting on the floor along the hallway, the guards and maids could see you, even the people could…”
“I know.’ I muttered.
“Are you okay?’ She softly inquired.
“I’m fine, it’s nothing serious.”
“Are you sure, you have to…”
I interrupted. “Can you make me some coffee, Emily?”
“Yes, I can.” She nodded.
“Please bring it to my room,” I said and strolled off to my chambers and did not look back.
I got to my chambers, shutting the door behind me, when I saw my mother sitting down majestically on the bed.
“Welcome, Son.” She smiled warmly and motioned a chair close to her for me to sit.
“What are you doing in my room? Have you been staying here too long, Mother?” I asked and sat down on the chair, not taking a glance at her attire which was made of Gold chains and everything, glittering around her.
She does look so young, like a goddess, just as the rumors say.
“Not that I can speak off.” She smiled.
“Do you perhaps want something to drink?”
She shook her head. “I need to ask an important question.”
I sighed, hoping it wasn’t some discussion concerning Oceana, I hope it will be something else.
‘What is it, Mother?’ I ruffled my hair in nervousness.
“What is going on between you and Oceana?’
My heart nearly stopped, popping out of my chest at her question.
She has never asked me such a question before, why was she bringing it up and what has she heard for her to ask this bizarre question. Damn it, I hope she hasn’t found out my secret, it will be hard to talk to her if she does, after all, I’ve been hiding this secret for the past sixteen years, if she discovers it, my plans will come crashing down.
Why was she even here?
Oceana, Oceana, Oceana, I have heard enough of her for today, can’t anyone just give me a break?
I bit my lower lip to stop myself from speaking out of shape and getting myself in deep trouble and causing more questions, which I despise.
I am a grown-ass fucking Alpha but that doesn’t stop me from doing what I love to do, for the fact that I’m not fierce, doesn’t mean that I have to be.
If I have known she was going to speak of Oceana, I would have walked out the instant I saw her.