“I know but I just don’t want you to feel lonely, you know it’s been quite a long time since I’ve touched you and you must be bothered by the hormones.” I said, stroking her cheeks and she pushed the strand of my hair behind my ear.
“Yeah, I was so horny, especially through the night, it was kind of lonely though.” She admitted.
I teased. “Did you touch yourself?’ I kissed her on the forehead.
She suddenly became shy and held her face in my chest. “Tell me, you did touch yourself didn’t you?”
She gave a nod, I smiled and slightly nudged her away from me. “It’s not bad to touch yourself, okay, it’s your body that needs it, so you don’t have to worry so much.”
“I know and please stop talking about it, you are embarrassing me.” She covered her eyes, I took them off as I smiled. “Okay, I wouldn’t bring it up again and by the way, how was school?”
“School was awesome, I couldn’t get enough of it at all, that lecturer, oh, gosh, I wish I could spank that teacher for failing my course, how dare he do that to me? If I could grab him right now….”
She went on and on about school, but my mind was somewhere else, which was on Oceana.
What would she be doing at this time? Has she started having sex? Does she have a boyfriend?
The Alpha she is betrothed to, is she in love with him?
How was her first time in bed? Damn, these thoughts were killing me.
I still haven’t called her yet?
I will be going home soon, what will I say to her once I set my eyes on her, what the fuck should I say, what should I say to her about what occurred eight years ago.
How should I speak, fuck I craved for her to be in my arms, if only she was the one in bed with me, how lovely that kind of feeling could be?
I met Emily in America after I left the clan in California.
We both flowed so well and then, we began dating afterwards.
We call and contact each other all the time. She made my life filled with blissful moments but I wasn’t in love with her.
There were times I deceived myself and forced myself to fall in love with her, yet, I still can’t see why I couldn’t fall in love with her, I don’t know what was going on, but it wasn’t working.
Someone once told me that I can’t tell my heart who to fall in love with, the heart wants what it wants and I can’t control it.
This is the damn truth, whatever women I slept with to forget about Oceana, it wasn’t helping, I don’t know why but it wasn’t working out for me, all I can see in their faces is Oceana.
Fuck, the Alpha will kill me if I ever get close to Oceana, our father will not take it likely.
Emily keeps me sane, I know it feels like I’m using her but I’m not or rather that’s what I always tell myself.
Not to use her but learn to fall in love with her, because Emily is in love with me.
If care is not taken, I…I might end up breaking up with her because she deserves someone better than me, someone, who will love her unconditionally and treat her with the respect she deserves not someone like me.
No, I will end up destroying her and breaking her heart, we will both hurt each other, and I don’t want that for someone innocent like her, it will be disastrous for us if we get into that sort of thing.
Should I cut things off or give it some time so I can fall in love with her or get married to her, probably the love will grow in me once she gives birth to my child right?
“Hey,’ she waved her hands at me. I blinked my eyes to see her properly. “Are you listening to me, you seem out of this world.”
“Oh, continue with what you were saying, I’m listening to you.” I smiled.
“No, you are not listening to me.” She shook her head.
I persisted. “I am listening to you.” I laughed.
“Ok, what was the last thing I said?” She stared at me closely.
Oops! I was screwed.
“Umm…the lecturer, you said…umm…” I stuttered, feeling so stupid of myself.
“I said, your father called me and said when were we getting married.” She stated.
“Wait…what!’ I jolted up.
“See,’ she shrugged. “You were not paying attention to me.’ She got out of bed, throwing away the blanket.
“Emily, wait, where are you going?” I attempted to also get up from the bed.
“Outside.” She replied in an annoying tone.
“Wait up, you don’t have to be so angry, calm down.”
“Don’t talk to me, let me go.” She darkly uttered.
I quickly took off my robe from the wardrobe and put it on before she would be done with putting on her clothes and sauntering out of the room.
“Emily, wait.” I held her arm, sighing for a second. “Can you sit down and let’s talk?”
“There is nothing to talk about.” She whispered, then, flared up at me. “You are always like this, most of the fucking time, you are always like this, you don’t pay interest whenever I talk, you always seem out of yourself. Do you even love me, we haven’t seen each other for six months and the first thing you did was to have sex with me. I thought for a second that you are a man, an Alpha, so of course, your needs will be met first and I did as you asked. Whenever I talk and want your attention, you always dodge me but when you want mine, I give it to you without hesitation. Am I so unattractive to you, I don’t understand?’
“Emily.’ I was moved.
“Don’t you dare come close to me,’ she cries out. “I don’t want to hear anything from you, you act like getting married to me is the worst day of your life.”
I sighed.
I heard a buzz from my phone, I walked towards it and saw a text message from Carmine.
*Done with sex? Come out now, we are going home, don’t keep me waiting*
Fuck!