My eyes widen. “How long?” I whisper. He stays silent and looks at me, slowly stands and moves over past the others to sit beside me. He sits down and puts his arm around me but doesn’t answer, then pulls me in and kisses my forehead.
“How long Cam?” I repeat. He blows out a breath and shrugs his shoulders. “Please,” I beg.
“All along,” he sighs. “I’ve known all along.” I put my hand over my mouth. Tears fill my eyes, I’m so ashamed.
“Hey, stop it.” He squeezes my shoulder, “It’s ok.”
“No Cam, it’s not ok.” I hang my head. “How do you know?” I ask, my quivering voice revealing my oncoming tears.
“We all know,” he shrugs his shoulders. What.
“Who’s we?” I ask, horrified.
“My brothers.” Oh god. “And my mother.” What the fuck!
“Your mother,” I stammer once again, putting my hand over my mouth. “How, but why, but how?” He smiles at my babbling.
“Let’s just say, Josh didn’t handle it very well when you broke up with him.” My heart drops for the ten–thousandth time this week.
“What do you mean?” I ask, as the tears once again burn the backs of my eyes.
He shakes his head. “I’ve said enough already, speak to Josh.” He gives me a sympathetic smile as if he knows what torture I am going through at the moment.
“Josh is acting weird Cam,” I whisper.
He nods. “I know, you make him crazy.” He takes a gulp of his beer as he looks straight ahead. The next fight starts and once again the deafening music begins, and the crowd jumps to their feet. I stay seated. My mind is in a total jumble. He didn’t handle it well, what does that mean? I pinch my bottom lip as I think. Abbie climbs over the seats to get back next to me. She’s having the time of her life.
“Check this out.” She hands me the binoculars and I shake my head.
“No thanks.” I hold up my hands. “I’m good.”
“Ok, you’re missing out, these guys are hot.” I roll my eyes, whatever. She really is acting like a little kid.
“Smell that testosterone!” Abbie inhales deeply while holding her stomach and Cameron and Wilson burst out laughing.
“See, I told you girls you would love this shit.” I am totally distracted. I am not even watching what’s going on. His mother knows, bitch. I was right-she has been rubbing my face in it all these years. Bridget returns from the bar with more drinks, two for me. I look up and she gives me a sympathetic smile and a wink. She must have overheard the conversation between Cam and me. I nod as I take my drinks.
“Thanks babe,” I whisper. She bends and gives me a kiss on the top of my head and then wrecks it by running her hand through my hair and messing it up. I swat her away as I giggle. I am distracted from my disturbing thoughts of not handling things well by Will yelling.
“Here he comes.” I stand up instinctively. Oh shit, my hand flies up to my mouth. I go to walk out but Cameron grabs my jacket.
“Stay,” he yells over the crowd. I swallow and nod, what a total nightmare. Joshua is wearing a black dressing gown sort of thing and he is followed by a man who is talking to him.
“Who’s that?” I yell across to Will.
“That’s his trainer,” he yells back.
“How do you know?” I ask.
“I met him in LA.”
“Oh what, he travels with Josh?” Cam nods.
“Yeah he goes where Josh goes.” I frown. Cam shakes his head and smiles. “You know, life of the rich and famous, entourage and all that.” I nod, I really have no clue what’s going on do I? I am still trying to digest the whole entourage thing when he takes off his cape. Sweet mother of god. Every single muscle on his body is visible to my eyes, he’s so cut.
“Holy shit!” Abbie yells so close to my ear that she nearly bursts my ear drum. I pull away and frown as I clap my hand over my ear. “You could grate cheese on that stomach.” I nod, shocked at the fine specimen before me. He turns and I see a massive tattoo running from his hip bone up the length of his torso on his side.
“He’s inked,” Abbie whispers. She grabs the binoculars from Will and looks at the stage. I am still staring dumbstruck at him. Fuck, he’s hot. Seriously, how can anyone be so goddamn attractive? I look over at Abbie and she has handed the binoculars to Bridget who is now looking at the stage. She pulls the binoculars down, her face filled with horror.
“Fuck off,” Bridget whispers, her eyes bulging.
Cameron bursts out laughing. “I’ve been waiting for you to see that.”
“What?” I snap. She hands me the binoculars. I look at the stage and see him deep in conversation with his trainer. What are they going on about? He turns and all of the blood drains from my face. The ink isn’t a picture as I first thought. Joshua has the word Natasha in running writing down the whole length of his body.
Holy Fuck.
My eyes are seeing it, but I don’t believe it. Why in the hell would he do that? Before I can apply my brain–to–mouth filter, I call Will over to me.
“When did he get that?”
He shrugs. “A couple of years ago.”
“How many?”
“How many what?”
“Years?”
“Um, I don’t know, three or four.”
“Is it me?” I frown.
“Of course it’s you.” I sit back down, my mind now officially in overdrive. We haven’t been together for seven years, so why three or four years ago?