Rosh
I rub my forehead back and forth over the hard yet soft surface, my pillow of Stace’s warm chest. His arms are wrapped around me, and his lips rest at my temple, his chest rising and falling as he sleeps deeply.
This is Heaven.
I wince with my eyes still closed. My body is sore. Sorer than sore. In fact, I would go so far as to say it is painful. My head is hurting from the champagne, my feet ache from those stupid high shoes, and then my girl parts… well, they are just shredded to oblivion.
I smile. God, what a night. Stace and I were like animals with each other, and knowing that we had no future only added fuel to the out of control flames.
We couldn’t get enough of each other. We went from violent fucking against the wall then to love making in bed, back to fucking in the shower, and then to gentle tender love making again and again until, in total exhaustion, we fell asleep in each others arms as the sun was coming up.
I still haven’t had enough. Could I ever get enough of this man? I doubt it, to be honest.
This is what it feels like.
I need to go to the bathroom, but I know once I step foot outside of this bed that that will be it.
Our time will be over.
Dread fills my every cell.
He rustles around and I feel him smile above me before he tenderly kisses my forehead. “Morning, babe,” he whispers sleepily.
I smile softly. “Morning.” I kiss his chest.
He moves and groans. “I’m fucked.” His voice is scratchy from our copious amounts of alcohol last night.
“Um, I think it’s me who is fucked,” I mutter dryly.
I feel him smile broadly as he kisses my head again.
We lie still for a moment as reality starts to sink in, knowing he has to get up and leave.
We both know he does, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
His lips drop to my neck and he kisses me as his hand finds his favorite spot between my legs. “I need you one last time, Rosh,” he whispers as he runs his jaw whiskers back and forth gently along my skin.
I nod, unable to speak because the lump in my throat has blocked out all sense. “I know,” is all I can eventually muster.
He slides his finger in and hisses in approval. “Oh, baby, you feel too good. How am I going to live without this?” he whispers.
I close my eyes to block him out. I don’t want his last memory of me to be crying like a baby.
“Open for me.”
I drop my legs back to the mattress and he rises above me, onto his elbow. His fingers slowly pump in and out of my body as he watches me intently.
“You are just so….” His voice trails off.
We kiss and it’s nothing like the kisses of last night. It’s a goodbye kiss and it breaks my fucking heart.
He rises above me and slowly slides his length back and forth between my lips. “Are you going to remember me?” he asks in a whisper.
Through glassy eyes, I nod.
Horror crosses his face as he sees my emotions boiling over. “Baby, don’t,” he whispers.
I grab his behind and pull him down so he penetrates me hard, and we both gasp.
He’s so big, so hard, and so fucking perfect. He stays still to let me get used to his size.
If only he could stay still to let me get used to his love.
And, to the sound of my heart silently breaking, we make tender and beautiful love.
* * *
I’m ruined.
Utterly fucking ruined.
And it’s all Stace’s fault.
I am in the bathroom pretending to go to the toilet and he is packed, ready to go. I just need a minute to pull myself together.
We have had breakfast and laughed some more, although it has been strained because we both know what’s coming.
What’s worse is that I know he feels it, too. I’m not imagining it.
It’s here and it’s palpable. It feels real.
But I’m not being the needy chick that he left in Bogota. I’m going to rock this goodbye if it’s the last thing I do. I stare at my reflection in the mirror.
“You can do this,” I whisper to myself.
I close my eyes and inhale deeply. Ten minutes. Just be strong for ten minutes.
I blow out the breath and head back into the room. His suit is in its bag on the bed.
“All ready?” I smile.
He nods and gives me a lopsided smile. “I don’t know if I want you to stay here alone. Can you not go back to the US?”
I shake my head. “No, I’ve chosen my path.”
His eyes hold mine. “And it’s alone?” he questions.
I nod once. “Very alone.”
As if feeling dejected by my answer, he picks up his suit and slings it over his shoulder and we walk over to the door before he continues out into the hallway.
We gently kiss and both of our faces screw up in pain.
He pulls back and his eyes search mine. “What if you’re my person?” he whispers.
My eyes tear up because I know for certain that he is mine. “I’m not,” I whisper.
We stare at each other as mixed emotions swirl around us.
“I’m a girl you kidnapped.” I hesitate. “I’m a girl who deserves more from her person.”
He drops his head in shame and regret fills me that I said that… but it had to be said.
It is what it is.
He smiles sadly. “Goodbye.”
“Goodbye.” I smile through my tears.
He silently leaves.
As if on autopilot, I walk over to the window and place my hands on the glass and wait for him to appear down on the street below.
He appears from the building and tears roll down my face as he gets into a cab and without hesitation, leaves my life.
That hurt.
* * *
What a crazy day. What a crazy, crazy day.
This morning after he left, I took the smallest of the yellow diamonds to three different jewelers and paid for valuation slips. It cost me five hundred dollars, but the valuations came in at over a million, so it was worth it. I then had to catch a cab an hour away to see a guy. I don’t know who he was, but apparently he is the only person who deals with these sorts of things. That’s code for he’s a shonky criminal.
After bartering with him for over an hour, we agreed on a cash price of two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. I got ripped off, but I need some money to get me through until I find a real buyer.
It gives me hope for what is to come, though. The other diamonds are nearly twice the size of that one. So my quarter of a million is now in my bank account and the other diamonds are in the safety deposit box.
Not a bad day’s work for a nice girl like me.
My mind goes to Stace. Beautiful Stace. He will be on his ship by now, and I get a vision of him in his work uniform that makes me smile.
I am in a cab on my way back to the hotel. I’m tired from my all night carnal activities, but know I won’t be able to sleep when I get back there.
The diamonds are weighing heavily on my conscience. What if he gets the blame?
He won’t, don’t worry, I keep telling myself.
I go over the night before I got off the boat. It was all such a blur. I thought he went to Chelsea and I fought with him. Then he had me checked out and I told him about my past. I didn’t even know I was getting off the boat until an hour before I actually did, and then he was in the room all morning.
A sickening thought comes to me.
I didn’t hide the guns that I had hidden under the bed.
I should have thrown them overboard. In annoyance, I glance out the window of the car.
Oh my God.
They are going to know that I was in the shipping containers. They are going to know I have the diamonds.
You fucking idiot!
I close my eyes as my blood starts to pump heavily through my bloodstream.
Fuck!
For the rest of the cab ride, I feel sick. Sick with worry over my stupid oversight.
Stace will blame Stucco, I know he will. I hope he kills him when they fight.
Hang on a minute…
Horror dawns.
I didn’t tell Stace that Stucco is planning on killing him. I forgot all about hearing that conversation outside the container. Things were so hectic and then the fight and then…
My hands go to my hair in a panic. They were going to call for a maintenance call in the middle of the night.
I get a vision of Stace walking the ship in the dead of night alone.
And those fuckers…
Oh my God. I put my head into my hands.
What do I do?
Nothing. You’ve got away with it. Don’t do anything stupid.
This is drug money, fucking take it.
I feel sick. They will kill him.
They will kill him and throw him overboard and then blame him for the diamonds.
He will get the blame for something he never did
I push my thumbs into my eyes as I think.
No, no no, this can’t be happening. Stop thinking about it. Get on a plane and go to Europe now. The diamonds are there for twenty-four months if I want. For half an hour, I sit in the back of the cab with my mind in overdrive until finally the driver turns to me over the seat, breaking my thoughts. “We are here, Miss.”
I glance in at the hotel and after a moment I make the stupidest decision I know I have ever made.
“Can you wait here for a minute, please, while I run in and get my things? I need another ride.”
“Where you want to go to, Miss?”
I glance at the clock on his dashboard. I don’t even know if I have time to make it, but damn it I have to try or I will never forgive myself.
“The shipping dock.”