I smile. “I’m making you crazy?”
“Insane,” he whispers as he takes my lips to his. His tongue gently swipes through my open mouth and he kisses me deeply. Holy fuck. I can feel his erection grow up against my leg and I have to concentrate to keep my legs together.
This is insane. “There is nobody here. We don’t have to play along,” I whisper into his mouth as my tongue dances with his.
“I don’t want to play along anymore, Rosh.” He kisses me again before his mouth drops back to my neck.
“What do you want?” I breathe. He’s so damn good at this.
“I want you to want me for real.”
I can’t hold myself back and I grab the back of his head and pull him down to me. The kiss is deep and passionate and hell, if it isn’t the best kiss I have ever had. His hand slips underneath the towel and roams across my naked stomach and up to my breast and then down across my hipbones.
Lower, lower. Oh, fuck. Touch me lower.
Our kissing turns desperate. He is half on top of me and I can feel his huge erection digging into the side of my leg.
“Tell me you want me as much as I want you,” he whispers against my lips as his hand rubs back and forth on my skin. “Tell me.”
Unable to answer through my arousal and his lips all over me, I nod. I do want him. Hell, I want him right here on this lounge right now.
“Say it,” he breathes heavily.
I pick up his hand and place it over my sex. “Touch me,” I whisper. “Touch me for real.”
His eyes roll back and he slides his hand down the front of my bikini bottoms and my legs instinctively open. His large, strong fingers slide through my wet flesh.
“Fuck, yeah,” he whispers to himself as his eyes close.
Oh God. My head rolls back into the lounge chair. His lips take mine with renewed purpose. “You’re so wet, baby.”
I try to control my erratic breathing.
He slides one of his large fingers into my body and we both inhale in pleasure.
“How’s this?” he breathes onto my lips as he pumps his finger in and out. My knees lift slightly and I am suddenly aware that we are in a public place.
“The towel. Put the towel over us,” I whimper.
“Let’s go back to the room,” he murmurs.
I shake my head. “No. We will stay public for a little longer, thanks.”
He smiles darkly into the side of my face. “You scared of what I’m going to do to you when I get you alone?” He bites my shoulder blade sending goosebumps up my spine.
His big lips take mine and my back arches off the lounge in arousal.
Holy fuck. “A bit,” I murmur.
“You should be. I have never wanted a woman so much.” He pushes three of his huge fingers deep inside of me. I moan and tense up.
“Relax. I got you, Rosh. I won’t hurt you.”
He kisses me gently again, and sensing my fear he keeps his fingers still as he allows my body to acclimate to his intrusion.
I nod softly as I try to calm myself down.
“You’re not used to big men, baby?” he asks as if concerned.
I shake my head nervously. “No.”
He smiles into my lips as he kisses me. “It’s going to be fun teaching you how to take me.”
My eyes close. Fucking hell, what am I getting myself into here? His frigging fingers are huge and hurting and they are nowhere near the size of his cock. Maybe this is a bad idea.
What the heck am I doing?
I pry my legs open as far as they can go and lift my behind a little to allow him greater access.
“That’s it, Rosh,” he whispers reassuringly. “Lie back and enjoy it. Let me relax you a bit.”
He carefully slides his fingers out and then pushes them back in, making me moan in approval. He sits back and slowly pumps his fingers as he watches my face in awe.
“Does that feel good, baby?” he whispers.
“Yes.” I nod as I kiss him gently, a rush of excitement running through me. I love it when he calls me baby. “Too good.”
He kisses me as his perfect fingers go to work and the sound of my body’s wet arousal hangs heavily as we lie in the silent room. His erection is digging through the muscle in my leg and he grinds it against me slowly.
My breath quivers and I have lost all coherent thought. His fingers work harder, more aggressive, and each pump is deeper than the last. I kiss him aggressively.
“You are so fucking tight and ready for my cock.” He growls.
He picks up the pace and my mouth hangs open as the lounge rocks almost violently. Oh my God, oh my God. I start to quiver and place my hand over the back of his as it pummels through my flesh. I can feel the muscles flex in the back of his hand.
Sensing how close I am, he smiles against the side of my face. “That’s it, Rosh.” He kisses me. “Give it up for me, baby.”
His thumb swipes over my clitoris as his fingers dive deep and I lurch forward as a stronger than hell orgasm steals my ability to speak. I jerk, my body shuddering around his fingers as he tenderly kisses me and brings me back to Earth.
My heart is hammering through my chest when he kisses me softly. No aggression, no arousal, just soft, sweet kissing. That was perfect. He’s perfect.
“Can we go back to the room?” he whispers into my cheek.
Oh shit. My face falls.
A frown crosses his forehead. “Why did your face just fall?”
I sit up nervously as my arousal high instantly disappears and is replaced by fear. I shake my head. “It didn’t,” I pant.
“I…” I hesitate. God, this sounds so lame. “I just want to take it a little slow. I’m not…” I stop myself I don’t want to sound like an idiot.
“You’re not what?”
“I’m not used to this sleeping around thing. I know you are, but…”
He kisses me. “I would really like to go back to the room and get rid of this hot mess in my pants. You can watch.” He raises a cheeky brow to sweeten the deal.
My eyes widen. “You would let me watch you get yourself off?”
“Yes. Why not?” He seems surprised that I would find this odd. I have only had a few partners and I know I am not super experienced, but I have never been in the space where a man has jacked off in front of me. A thrill of excitement runs through me as I realize he has the confidence to have no physical hang ups. Our eyes stay locked. Holy crap. He just may be the hottest man on the planet.
“What will you do?” I whisper.
He smirks sexily. “I’m sure I will think of something.”
I smile as I stand, and we kiss for a moment as he rewraps the towel around my chest and holds me in his strong arms. His pager goes off.
“Fuck’s sake,” he whispers under his breath. After reading the message, he rolls his eyes. “I got to go to work for a bit. I will walk you back to the room first.”
We walk hand in hand until we get to the door and we turn and face each other.
“I shouldn’t be long.”
I feel like I am being walked home by my cute first date and I have that butterfly feeling in my stomach. I lean in and gently kiss him. I run my fingers through his two-day growth and my hand lingers on his jaw. “See you soon,” I whisper.
He kisses me again and then again and he smiles as he scrunches his face up. “Screw work. Let’s go inside.”
I laugh. “Go.”
With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he pecks me quickly and is striding up the hall and out of sight.
* * *
I stand on the chair in the bathroom as I try to catch a glimpse of myself in the smaller than small vanity mirror. I turn and look at my behind in the tight black dress. After Mac left this afternoon, I paid Ang a visit and borrowed one of her dresses. I don’t know if I’m delusional, if I have cabin fever, or whether I am just going plain batshit crazy, but I feel like tonight is a little different to my other nights on the ship.
I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m petrified.
I have never lived like this, thrown caution to the wind and not thought about tomorrow. But this afternoon was so, so nice in his arms, and I think Ang is right-I have spent my entire life saving myself for nice guys and honorable men and they have all treated me like dirt. They lied to me, cheated on me, not to mention robbed me of my self-respect. I’m done with it.
I’m done with being the victim. I’m taking back control of my life right now.
Mac’s bad-a criminal, even-but he has saved my life and offered me protection when I desperately needed it. In two weeks I will be gone and nobody will be able to find me, not even him. So I’m going to take the solace of his warm arms and the feeling of safety he gives me for the short time while I can.