My eyes roam to the girls playing pool and I can see them looking over and talking to each other. What are they saying? Are they going to help me?
“Who are the girls?” I ask.
He sips his drink as he seems to contemplate giving me the answer. “The crew’s girls.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
He sips his drink again.
“Are they the wives of some of the men?” I ask.
He smirks as his eyes hold mine. “They are the whores of all of the men.”
Horror dawns.
I lean forward. “Prostitutes?” I whisper in mortification.
He raises an eyebrow. “We are a long time at sea.”
I sit back in disgust. I have no words. I glance over at them again. “So you all just fuck whoever you want?”
He smirks.
“The girls sleep with all of you?” I frown.
“They have fun and are well looked after.” He shrugs.
Fear fills me. “Were they taken? Is that the plan for me?” I whisper in a panic.
He frowns. “No.” He shakes his head. “They come and go as they like. We always have six, but the girls change at different ports.”
I sit back in my chair. I can’t get my head around this type of lifestyle.
“They all have their own shit they are trying to escape. This boat is their safe place. Most do a few trips a year. They rotate.”
The chef brings out two plates of a beef and vegetable stew with mashed potatoes and vegetables, leaving us to eat in silence, although my mind is in overdrive at the lives those women must live. We eat and then have dessert, and I have to admit the food is much better when hot.
A man comes and sits next to Mac and they begin to talk. My mind starts to buzz and I look around at the exits. How do I get to the control tower from here? My heartbeat rises as I imagine the scenario of getting caught. To the right is a bathroom and then the main door is where we came from. If I go back that way, it’s about one hundred meters down the hall, then up the stairs and then back another hundred meters to the other end. By my calculations we are closer to the control tower from here. Where is the door? I keep looking around casually. Bloody hell, it’s so confusing. I pull my chair out.
“Where are you going?” he snaps.
“I…” I hesitate. “I need to go to the bathroom.”
His knowing eyes hold mine.
Shit.
“I will show you where it is,” he says.
“Thank you,” I reply. Damn it.
He takes my hand and walks me over to the bathroom and then follows me in.
I frown. “It’s okay. I can go to the bathroom on my own.”
He has a quick look around before he walks back out. He was checking nobody was in here with me. I go to the bathroom and exit to find him sitting on a barstool at the bar. He holds out his hand for me to join him. Bloody hell, why is he watching me like a hawk? I slowly walk over. He positions me between his legs and he snakes his arms around my waist as he talks to another man I haven’t seen before.
I keep searching for an exit over his shoulder. “What do you want to drink?” he asks.
I glance up at all the alcohol.
“She will have a Scotch and Coke, please,” Mac says before waiting for my answer.
I frown. “No, I won’t. I don’t like Scotch,” I reply.
“But I do and I want to kiss you.”
My brain misfires. Huh?
The man he is talking to smirks. “Catch you later, man.” He gets up and leaves.
The barman leaves to make my drink.
He slips his hand underneath the band of my skirt and rubs down my stomach, his fingers skim my pubic hair before he kisses my ear from behind. “You feel good,” he whispers.
Crap, crap, crap.
I have to get out of here. I turn and lean into his ear and whisper. “What are you doing?” I whisper.
“I’m showing them you’re mine,” he whispers back into my ear as he bites it. “This is where you show them you like it.”
“By running your fingers through my pubic hair?” I whisper angrily.
He smiles into my neck. “Yes, exactly. You are getting the hang of it. You need to play along.”
“Nobody even cares,” I whisper angrily into his ear.
He licks my neck in an upstroke and cold chills cover my body. Why does he have to affect me like this? “Everybody in this room is watching. If you are not mine, they will assume you are theirs,” he whispers.
I pull back and my scared eyes hold his.
“Kiss me,” he whispers darkly.
“W-what?” I stammer in fear.
He pulls my face toward him and his lips gently dust mine.
Oh God.
His tongue slowly enters my mouth and, unable to help it, my eyes close. His tongue delves deeper and deeper and I lose all sense of reality. His arm tightens around my waist and he pulls me closer to him. My breasts are squashed up against his chest and his hand is crushing me to him. Oh hell, I’ve never been kissed like this. I feel his large erection up against my thigh and my insides start to melt.
Reality sets in and I pull away. What the hell am I doing? “I just lost my fucking appetite. I’m going back to the room.”
“I’m not ready to go back yet,” he snaps, angry that I stopped his kiss.
“I didn’t ask you to come.” I sneer.
“If you are not with me-”
I cut him off. “I’m not with you. Get it through your fucking head.” I pull out of his grip and storm back to the room alone as everyone in the room watches. I will take my chances with the others. I am not standing there and making out with that fucking asshole.
I storm back to the room with him hot on my heels.
I’m angry, fucking furious with myself, actually.
He opens the door and pushes me in as he stays in the corridor and without a word locks the door behind me.
Reality hits hard when I hear the cold click of the door as he leaves. I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower, undress, and slowly get in as the tears begin to fall. I grab the soap and rub my skin in a panic. I wash and wash and wash until my skin is red raw. I need to get this dirty, slutty feeling off me.
He knows, too. He knows I enjoyed that kiss. He felt it.
In that moment, he owned me.
* * *
I lie in the darkness with my back toward the door when he comes in five hours later. The room is silent and heavy from my tears. I have cried a river tonight.
Not because I am the victim in this shitty circumstance, but because I was a willing participant.
I kissed him without a fight. I gave in to my lust.
Something that I vowed I would never do. I’m as bad as Melissa when she gave in to her lust. Her body led her to temptation.
He comes in and puts his keys on the desk and I can feel his eyes watching me in the darkness. After a moment he walks into the bathroom and I hear the shower turn on. My heart is beating so fast and I know he will be washing himself for what’s to come. Oh God, no. I can’t do this. Please don’t make me do this.
The shower turns off and a few minutes later he crawls naked into bed next to me. I scrunch my eyes shut and pretend to sleep.
He lies on his back for a few moments and I stay silent. …. can he tell that I’m awake?
He blows out a heavy breath and then rolls so his back is to me. I frown.
What’s he doing?
I lie still, but my heart and mind is scrambled as I wait for the attack. I wait and I wait.
It doesn’t come and ten minutes later his regulated breathing tells me he is asleep.