I close my eyes as I wait for the elevator.
Please let them fall in love.
Please let him have the happy ever after that he deserves.
A baby… it’s so much motivation to give him the will to live.
I stare at the ceiling above me as I hear the clock tick over again.
I don’t remember driving home. I don’t remember walking up to my apartment, getting in the shower, or going to bed.
All I remember is the sound of a huge chapter of my life closing.
I’m happy that this has happened, but strangely enough, I’m a little sad.
It’s bittersweet.
I sacrificed Brock… for what?
Where does this leave me?
“Hello, hello.” I laugh as I grab Rourke in an embrace.
He laughs out loud and spins me around. “Thank fuck you’re back,” he teases.
I nod as I pull out of his arms. “I am so back, and I am not going anywhere ever again.” I smile.
It’s my first day back at work in a month. Who knew I would miss the place so much?
“What’s been happening?” I smile. “What do you want me to do today?”
“We have lots to do.” Rourke sits down at his desk and puts his finger to his lips, looking around to make sure no one can hear us.
I frown. “Huh?”
He writes down on a piece of paper.
We need to talk.
I scowl and look back up at him.
“Let’s go and get a coffee,” he says.
Rourke doesn’t even like coffee. “Okay.” He links his arm with mine before he practically runs me out of the building.
We break out through the front doors. “What the heck is going on?” I ask.
“F-fuck, fuck, fuck,” he stammers. “Something is going on in the lab.”
“What do you mean?” I frown as we walk towards the coffee shop.
“Evidence is being moved at night.”
“What?”
“You know that hair sample I thought I lost? The one we thought had been signed out a couple of weeks ago?”
“Yeah.”
“It turned up.”
“What do you mean it turned up?”
“Just that. It was just there one day, but I know I checked that very spot. Somebody had put it there overnight.”
I frown. “You think it was tampered with?”
“I know it was.”
My eyes widen. “By who?”
“Fuck knows, but it got me thinking, so I’ve been testing a few things, and I think the lab is bugged.”
“Bugged?” I shriek. “By who?”
“Shh.” He looks around nervously. “Keep your voice down.”
“Who would bug the lab?” I whisper.
“Somebody who is up to no fucking good is my guess,” he whispers.
“Why would they do that?” I shake my head as I try to think clearly. “I’m so confused.”
“I don’t know, but the other night I told Angela where I was putting another DNA sample that had just came in from another murder victim. I told her I hadn’t tested it and I was going to work on it in the morning, so I was leaving it in the drawer. Not the drawer it was supposed to be in, but another drawer.”
I listen.
“Then I booby trapped the sample.”
I frown. “Booby trapped it, how?”
“I put a piece of my own hair into the bag and hid the real sample.”
My eyes widen in horror. “Fuck, Rourke. You could lose your job for tampering with evidence. What the heck are you thinking?” I whisper angrily.
“Get this. In the morning, the hair in the bag… it wasn’t mine.”
“What?” I gasp. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. The only way this could have happened is if the lab is bugged. They knew where the evidence was, and then it was switched overnight.”
I put my hand over my mouth. “Oh my God.” I think for a moment. “So… who? Who do we think is responsible?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. It could be a cleaner or someone from downstairs.”
“Did you tell anyone?” I ask.
“No. The only people who can come up here undetected is management.”
“You think this is someone in management?” I frown.
“Fuck knows. I’ve been waiting for you to get back so we can come up with a plan. If they are tampering with evidence, it means they are the ones who killed these girls. It also means that they have the means to kill me.”
I put my head into my hands. “Fucking hell. What do we do?” I whisper.
“Just don’t say anything out loud until we work something out, and be vigilant. Be aware of everyone who comes into the lab. We have to work out who we can trust.”
I nod as I drag my hands down my face. “Shit, what a fucking nightmare. It’s like a crime show or something.”
Rourke links his arm with mine. “Welcome back, bitch.”
I bubble up a giggle. “I swear, the universe is trying to give me an ulcer.”
Rourke winks. “I’ve got two.”
Brock
I sit at the restaurant and wait for my meal. I couldn’t be bothered to cook tonight. In fact, I can’t be bothered to do anything lately.
I glance up and see a guy and his girlfriend laughing at the bar, and my stomach twists with jealousy.
She’s reading out the menu and laughing while he is standing there holding one of her hands, his other hand on her behind.
They look happy… in love.
I frown as I watch them, and a million memories of Tully wash over me.
I wish I’d never met her, because then I wouldn’t know what I was missing by not having her by my side.
It’s as if the whole world has been tainted, all because now I know how the other half live.
A life that never interested me before happens to be the only one I want now.
To feel settled and calm with love and laughter.
To feel what I had with Tully. But it will never be the same now because the girl will never be Tully.
Our ship has sailed.
Fuck this, I’m going home. I stand just as the waitress arrives at my table with my dinner.
“Oh.” She frowns as she sees me standing to leave. “Your dinner is here.”
“Yeah.” I shrug. “I’m not just feeling it anymore. You eat it.” I turn, making my way of the door and out to my car.
I don’t even know who I am anymore.
Tully
The rain is falling heavily as I sit inside my car. I’m parked outside Brock’s house, peering across the street. It’s dusk now. I need to talk to him, if for no other reason than to apologise for how I treated him.
I frown as I think back to the day when I ended it between us in London. I was so sure I was doing the right thing at the time.
But hindsight is the worst form of torture.
If only, the worst words you can whisper to yourself.
I’ve been back in Australia for a week and I have wanted to call him every day, but I didn’t know what to say.
What can I possibly say now that will make what I did okay and take away the pain from us?
I never thought I would make huge, life changing mistakes at this age. I thought I would have my shit well and truly together by now. Know exactly what I’m doing and with who.
What a joke. I had the love of my life and I threw him away with no regard for anything but Simon. And I don’t regret being there for Simon, I just wish I thought things through a lot more clearly before I followed through with it.
The rain is really coming down when his black Range Rover pulls into the driveway. I close my eyes.
Here we go…
I’ve been sick with nerves all day worrying about how tonight will go.