Cameron
I turn the engine off and look up at the house. God, this is my worst nightmare.
How do you tell a kid that you’re his father when you don’t believe it yourself?
I know it’s true, I have the proof, and yet somehow, I feel like I’m in a bad dream and any minute Ashley is going to laugh and tell me it’s all a joke. Then I can go back to having her in my arms and being happy.
I can stop resenting her so much.
I don’t want to resent her… but I can’t help it. How could she have hidden this from me?
I take out my phone and scroll through it, hoping to find an urgent message from the hospital saying I’m needed-that I have to be somewhere. I want to be anywhere but here. I grip the steering wheel in my hands as I imagine how this is going to go. How would I have felt if some stranger turned up and announced that he was my father? What would I have thought of him?
Poor kid. What a fucked up start to his life.
Right, that’s it. I need to make this right.
With renewed determination, I climb out of the car and head to the door and knock. I glance up the street as a man starts to mow his lawn and I look around. At least this is a nice neighborhood they’re living in.
The door opens in a rush and Ashley stands before me. Her hair is in a high ponytail and she has no makeup on. My heart somersaults in my chest. She’s so fucking beautiful.
“Hey,” I push out.
She smiles and it kicks me right in the gut. “Hi, Cam. Thanks for coming. Please come in.”
God, she smells good.
I follow her into the house and glance around. It seems so strange being here without her on my mind. When I was here before, I was so focused on her I don’t remember much about the house. It’s homey, nice and clean, and I know she said she moved with bare essentials and put the rest of her stuff in storage back in New York. She walks into the kitchen and I follow her, unsure what to do.
“Would you like a cup of coffee?” she asks.
“Please.” I frown as I take a seat on a stool at the kitchen counter.
She fusses about and I sit silently, uncomfortable. I feel myself begin to perspire.
She turns and hands me my coffee. “Do you still want to tell him today?”
“Yes.” I sip my coffee. “I’m not starting our relationship with lies.”
Her eyes hold mine. “Like we did, you mean?”
I raise my eyebrow and sip my coffee. “No comment,” I murmur.
She blows out a breath. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be snarky and I know you are doing the best you can.”
I purse my lips as I watch a small spot on the kitchen counter. I need to focus on anything but looking in her eyes.
She reaches out and puts her hand on my forearm. “I’ve had five years to adjust to this situation, Cam and you haven’t. It’s a lot to process. It will get easier, I promise.”
I nod. “I hope so.”
She smiles awkwardly and shrugs. “I thought maybe we could tell him and then, if you want some privacy, I could go out for a couple of hours and leave you two here alone?”
I frown and nod. I feel my nerves flutter.
Don’t leave me alone with him.
“Okay,” I mumble, distracted.
“What are you going to say?”
“When?”
“When you tell him?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I’ve run though every possible scenario in my head all night. I think I’m just going to blurt out with it.”
“He’s very in tune, Cameron, and he’s really intelligent. If he picks up on the fact that you’re sad about it, he will latch onto that.”
My eyes rise to meet hers. “Do you think I’m sad about this?”
She shrugs. “You’re acting like you are.”
I frown. “I’m not sad I have a child with you. I’m upset with the way it happened, that I’ve missed out on so much. I’m furious that I found out from my mother and not you. You have no idea how that made me feel.”
She closes her eyes in regret. “I’m so sorry the way things transpired, Cameron, and I know you don’t believe me, but I can’t regret the week I spent with you. We would never have gotten to have that if you’d known earlier. You would have dismissed me as the psycho who turned up here with your kid in a heartbeat.”
Her eyes search mine and I don’t know what to think… or how to feel?
Blinding betrayal is all that comes through.
I drop my head. I don’t want to have this conversation. I can’t deal with it.
“Can you get him, please?” I ask.
Her eyes hold mine for an extended moment. I know she wants to finish this conversation, but I can’t.
I can’t go there. “Please?” I urge.
“Sure.” She walks out of the kitchen and calls upstairs. “Owen, you have a visitor.”
“Who?” he calls and I hear him run up the hall before he comes bouncing down the stairs. “Who is it?” he asks as he follows her into the kitchen.
“Cameron.” She smiles calmly.
Fuck… I wish I felt calm.
His face falls, and then he forces a smile when he sees me.
“Hello, mate.” I smile.
“Hi,” he replies.
“We’re having coffee. Would you like me to make you a hot chocolate?” Ashley asks him.
“Okay.” He smiles.
I pull out a stool next to me. “Why don’t you sit here?” I tap the stool.
He climbs up and sits at the counter.
His dark hair is unruly and curly like mine. He has the same olive skin and the cheekiest smile I have ever seen. He brings a smile to my face.
“What have you been up to?” I ask.
“You sound funny.” He smirks.
“Owen, use your manners, please.” Ashley frowns.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Your voice is different.”
I smile. “That’s my accent. I’m Australian.”
He frowns as he thinks.
“Can you say Australia?” I ask.
“Australia,” he repeats as clear as day. “What is it?” he asks.
“It’s a country, my home.” I smile.
Owen frowns and his curious eyes rise to Ashley.
“You know, Owen, kangaroos come from Australia,” Ashley tells him.
“Oh.” He thinks for a moment. “Do you have a kangaroo?”
I smile. “No.”
Ashley hands him his hot chocolate. “Thank you.” He smiles as he takes it from the counter.
Ashley pulls a stool around to the other side and takes a seat. I inhale.
Just do it.
“So… Owen.” I pause. Fuck. “I… I wanted to talk to you today.”
He sips his chocolate and watches me intently.
“It seems that…” I frown. Fuck, this is hard. “It seems that when you were born, there was a bit of a mix up.”
Owen frowns.
I glance at Ashley and she looks to have turned a pale shade of green.
“Yeah,” I continue. “There was a mix up and we only just found out about it.”
He sips his chocolate as he listens.
“You see, I’m your dad, Owen.”
He frowns and I can see the information swirling around in his little head. “But I already have a dad,” he says.
“I know. You have two dads.”
He frowns and looks over to Ashley, and then back to me. “My other dad’s just busy, that’s all. He’s coming back.”
Ashley’s eyes fill with tears and she bites her bottom lip.
“I know.” I smile sadly. “But I thought maybe you and I could hang out a bit?”
He frowns.
“Would that be alright?” I ask.
“But how did that happen?” he asks.
“Well.” I pause. Fuck, what do I say here? “Erm.” Fucking hell. “So, your mom had an egg.” I poke his little chest. “Which was you and I had the seed and together we made a little baby.”
He frowns as he thinks. “How did the egg get the seed?”
I glance up and see Ashley is smirking.
“I…” I shake my head as I try to think of an answer. “When I kissed her. I gave her the seed when I kissed her.”
His face falls in disgust. “You kissed my mom?”
I nod. “She’s very pretty and I couldn’t help myself.” I glance up and Ashley is close to tears again. “And she spoke French,” I whisper with a smirk as I rub the top of his head. “Do you know any French, Owen?” I ask.
He shakes his head and thinks for a moment. “I know French fries.”
I smile broadly and Ashley laughs.
“Yes, like that, Owie.” Ashley smiles. “Just like French fries.”
He drinks his hot chocolate and thinks on it for a moment.
“I thought today you could show me around here, because Mom’s got some things to do. Is that okay?” I ask.
He frowns and his eyes flicker to Ashley.