Ashley
Four hours later, I turn the key in the front door. Exhausted doesn’t come close to what I’m experiencing right now. It’s 8pm. Nerves, concentration, and the shock of coming face-to-face with-and lying to-an ethereal creature has all taken its toll. I don’t think I have ever been so tired in my whole life.
“Momma!” Owen yells excitedly as he jumps from the back of the lounge and runs to meet me at the front door. I scoop him up and squeeze him tight. Coming home to him reminds me why I put myself through this hell: To provide a better life for us. To have stability. I want him to be proud of who I am.
That’s the plan, anyway.
“Hi, baby.” I smile into his hair. “Sorry I’m late. Did you have a good day?”
He grins. “I got you a present.”
My mouth drops open in an over exaggerated gesture, and I place him back down on the floor. “You did?”
He swings back and forth with his hands behind his back and nods proudly. “It’s flowers.”
I smile broadly. “Why did you buy me flowers?”
“They are first day flowers.”
I bend and kiss him.
“But I can’t buy them for you tomorrow,” he says seriously. “Because it won’t be your first day.”
“Oh, okay,” I reply. “That’s a sensible plan.”
I catch sight of Jenna hiding in the kitchen as she eavesdrops and I blow her a kiss.
“Do you want to see them?” he asks.
“Yes please.” I smile. My little man is so articulate. He grabs my hand and leads me upstairs to my room and sure enough, there on my bedside table is a vase full of beautiful, brightly colored flowers. I bend to inhale their scent. “I love them, thank you, Owen.”
He remembers something and runs off to his room. “I did something else,” he calls over his shoulder.
I smile and sit on my bed as I wait for his return. Within moments, he is back with me again. He passes me a picture he has drawn. I smile as I try to work out what it is. Hmm. Tricky. It could be anything to be honest. “I love it,” I gasp.
He points to it. “Yes, because sometimes you won’t have a coat.”
I frown. Okay, he’s lost me now. I have no idea what he’s talking about. “Oh, so this is me?”
He nods. “Yes.” He replies as he crawls onto my lap. “Of course it’s you. See?” He points to the squiggly lines in a square. “This is the hospital and you are the doctor.”
A broad smile crosses my face. “Ah, yes, I see it now.”
His proud smile beams up at me. This beautiful child is such a blessing in my life. “Where’s Jenna?” I ask.
“In the kitchen.”
“Come on, let’s go and show her my flowers. She will be so surprised.”
Owen frowns as he thinks and then gestures for me to come close so he can tell me a secret. I lean my ear down so I’m closer to his mouth.
“She knows about your flowers,” he whispers.
“She does?” I whisper back in surprise.
“She bought them.”
I smile. “Oh!” I try to act shocked.
“But I have to pretend I bought them even though I don’t have any moneys,” he whispers.
“Okay.” I kiss his cheek. This kid’s honesty kills me. “I won’t tell her you told me,” I continue. “Your secret is safe and thank you, I love them.” I wink to seal the deal.
“Good,” he replies as he takes my hand and leads me downstairs to my beloved friend. This is her. This is how she operates. My birthday and Christmas presents from Owen all come from Jenna. She has been the stand-in sensible dad to Owen since he was born because his father was hopeless and my happiness is more important to her than her own. I could never repay her for everything she has done for me. I smile as I walk into the kitchen as she serves up my dinner onto a plate, and I kiss her cheek. “Thank you,” I mouth.
She throws the tea towel over her shoulder. “Congratulations on your first day.” She smirks, her eyes alive with mischief.
Owen climbs up onto the stool next to me, smiling like the Cheshire Cat.
“Owen bought me flowers,” I reply.
“I saw them.” She smiles. “You are so lucky to have a son like him.”
Owen smiles a proud of himself smile.
I put my arm around his shoulders and kiss the top of his head. “I know. My little prince.” I begin to press kisses all over his face until he swats me away, laughing.
“Stop it, Mom,” he squeals. “Stop it.”
Jenna pushes my plate over to me and I look down at the casserole and mashed potatoes she has made.
“Thank you.” I grab her hand over the table as emotion overcomes me. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you do all you do.”
She smiles warmly. “I know.”
Her eyes glance to Owen as he sits beside me, and then she pours me a glass of wine. “I can’t wait to hear all about your day and your new boss.” She widens her eyes in jest. I shovel the first fork full of food into my mouth. “My new boss is nice.” I gesture to the food. “This is delicious.”
“And?”
I smirk around my mouthful, not wanting to elaborate in front of Owie. “And I will tell you later when I have drunk this bottle of wine.”
Two hours later I am trying my hardest to explain my predicament.
“The forms were really long and I was doing them for an hour. I don’t know why I wrote it, I just did.”
We are on our second bottle of wine at the kitchen table with Owen safely tucked up in bed.
Jenna frowns. “I just don’t understand why you lied. There is nothing wrong with having kids Ashley.”
I blow out a defeated breath. “I know, but I didn’t know I was going to know him when I filled it out, did I?”
Her eyes hold mine.
“I don’t want to be judged and given special treatment because I’m a single mom.”
“You won’t be.”
“I will be. I will get the whole ‘you go first, your kid is waiting’ bullshit. ‘You can’t do overtime because you have a kid at home’.”
Jenna watches me sadly. “But what happens if you like this guy and he asks you out on a date?”
“He won’t.”
“He might. He remembered you. That’s something.” She smiles hopefully.
I roll my eyes as I drain my glass. “Trust me, as soon as he finds out I have a kid he will lose interest instantly and I will become someone’s mom who is not needed anymore.”
Jenna purses her lips as she thinks. “You need to tell him, so if there’s a chance, you can rekindle what you had.”
My eyes hold hers.
“You’ve talked about this guy for years, compared everyone to him, and now he’s come back to you in a weird twist of fate and you’ve started it all with lies. What’s wrong with you?”
I drop my head into my hands. “Oh God, I don’t know. I was flustered, he’s all gorgeous, and the women swoon over him. I just felt so bloody old.”
“Go in there tomorrow and tell him everything. Tell him you remember him, tell him you had a son, and tell him you want to explore anything there might be between you.”
“I’m not saying that.” I screw up my face in disgust. “I want to explore things with you.” I shake my head. “Sounds like bloody David Attenborough.”
She laughs. “What did he look like?”
I throw my head backwards. “I have never seen a man so hot. He could do me some damage, that’s for sure.” I shake my head in disgust. “I’m practically a virgin again.”
“Did you take a photo of him?”
I screw up my face again. “Are you a freak? I am not taking a fucking photo of him.” I shake my head. “Oh, my friend wants to see what you look like. Mind if I get a shot?”
She laughs and we both fall silent, deep in thought. “What are you going to do?” she eventually asks.
I narrow my eyes. “Well, first things first, I’m going to ace up the work clothes and look hot. Second of all, I’m going to drag him into an office and ‘fess up about my lie.”
“You should kiss him.”
“What?” I smirk.
“Can you imagine? You look really sexy and then you ask him to come into the office and you kiss him all seductive like.”
I look at her, deadpan. “This is my job and there are rules that I can’t break.”
She smiles and raises her glass. “I would like to propose a toast.”
I sip my wine and raise my glass.
“To breaking rules in French, in offices, on desks with doctors.”
I laugh and snort my wine up my nose the wrong way. I begin to cough uncontrollably. “Shut up, I am not seducing a doctor in French on a desk.” I cough. “I will get fired.”
“Or fucked hard.”
I continue to cough as I laugh.
“Oh, we we mouser, we shall see,” she retorts in a fake French accent.
I wait for the boom gate to rise in the car park. Its 6. 40am and I am preened to the nines. After today I will be wearing scrubs while I’m working, and then there is zero chance of impressing anyone. Least of all Dr. Vegas.
Black fitted dress? Check.
Hair out and straightened? Check.
Makeup? Check.
Sheer black stockings and heels? Check.
Absolutely no sleep and running on empty? Check, check, and double check.
I blow out a frustrated breath. Go up, you stupid thing. The boom gate is not going up. Why? I put on the parking brake and get out of my car. My card got me through the first gate, but then stopped me at the second. Now I can’t go back because I have to get back through the second boom gate.
For fuck’s sake.
I glance at my watch. 6. 45 am. I’m already late because I was thinking dirty thoughts about a certain doctor all night and hardly slept right up until an hour before my alarm went off. I push the little red help button and wait while it rings.
“Hello, can I help you?” The male voice comes through the speaker.
“Hello, I’m through the first boom gate, but now it won’t let me through the second.”
“Have you used the card before?”
“No, I’m new. I’m a doctor intern.”
“The card must be faulty. You will have to come to level two in the car park and get it swiped through the machine.”
I frown and look at my watch again. I don’t have time for this shit.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have time. I’m due at work. Can you just lift the gate and I will sort it tonight?”
“No. It’s against policy.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m blocking traffic. If anyone tries to get in behind me, they will get stuck, too.”
“Most of the staff park in B block,” he replies sarcastically.
I narrow my eyes. “Well, not this staff member, so can you open the gate?” I snap.
I glance back down to my watch. Fuck, it is 6. 50am.
“Nope, come down to level two.”
Oh God. “How do I get there?”
Leave your car, walk down the stairs, and up the other end is an office.
“I’m… I’m going to be late for work,” I stammer in a panic.
“Seems so,” he replies sarcastically.
Shit!