I had to. She hasn’t left my mind since I left her at her hotel room last Sunday morning.
I didn’t even tell anyone I was coming. I know how fucked up this must seem, but to me it feels like the only logical thing I could do. I have no idea how to find her.
I take out my new phone and click through to my cloud and stare at the photo I have of the gorgeous creature. I’ve stared at it every spare moment I’ve had for six days. This is the only evidence that she even exists.
Who are you?
It’s weird. I’m a player. In fact, I’m a player’s player. I don’t think twice about the women I sleep with most of the time, and I definitely never would have done anything this desperate before.
Maybe I’m going soft in my old age.
An annoying little voice whispers to my subconscious… Maybe she’s different?
I watch the oncoming crowd in the street and I frown. I don’t even know if I would recognize her on sight to be honest. I walk over and take a seat at the bar.
“What will it be?” The bartender smiles.
“Blue label Scotch on the rocks, please.” I glance around as I scan the crowd.
She makes my drink, turns back and slides it over the bar. “You here alone tonight?”
I shrug, and for some reason I feel like I need to elaborate. “Believe it or not, I flew in from LA today and am looking for a girl I met in Vegas last weekend. I have no idea of her name.”
Her eyes hold mine. “That’s crazy romantic.”
I shake my head. “I don’t do romantic. It’s crazy stupid.”
She serves the man next to me, while I sit and drink my drink. After a few moments she comes back to me. “Why don’t you put an ad in the classifieds.”
I frown into my drink. “What?”
“Put an ad in the classifieds that only she would understand.”
I laugh and run my hand through my hair. “Now that’s fucking crazy.”
She picks up a cloth and wipes the bar in front of us. “No, that’s crazy romantic.”
She moves on to the next customer and I sit and think for a moment, and eventually I pick up my drink and return to my table near the window, deep in thought.
Hmm… what would I write in the ad?
A waitress walks by. “Excuse me, do you have a pen I could borrow, please?” I ask.
She feels insides her pockets and hands over a black pen, as well as a napkin.
“Thanks.”
I frown as I think. What the hell am I going to write?
To the betting man’s wife who works in an ice cream shop.
We met in Vegas last weekend when you needed a stand in husband.
I lost my phone.
Je n’ai aucun moyen de vous contacter.
Translation: I have no way of finding you.
Wer auch immer eine Wette gewinnt mag niemals dasselbe sein.
Translation: Whoever wins a bet to you may never be the same.
I’m in New York looking for you.
Appelle-moin
Translation: Call me
0423788900
I sit and stare at the scratched note on the napkin.
I have officially lost my shit.
Ashley
I smile at the waiter as he puts our Margaritas on the table. It’s Saturday night and I’m out with my best friend Jenna for dinner.
“Thank you,” we both say as we pick up our much needed cocktails. “And then what happened?” I frown.
“So, this little shit has put it on her and she rejected him.”
“But she was on with him, right?”
Jenna shrugs. “She kissed him.”
“And this was at the party?”
She nods as she sips her drink. “Yep and they were drinking.”
We are deep in discussion about the little dipshit that is picking on her baby sister who is only fifteen.
“What happened then?”
“She was on with him and then they went for a walk.”
I shake my head. “Stupid move.”
“I know, right? She reckons she didn’t think anything of it.”
I roll my eyes and Jenna nods.
“Then they go for the walk and he puts it on her in a park, and she says no. He gets all aggressive and shit.”
I frown. “Seriously? How old is this kid?”
“He’s only sixteen. They have a fight and he goes back to the party and tells everyone that she didn’t want to have sex with him because she has an STD.”
My mouth drops open. “You’re joking?”
“I fucking wish I was.”
My hands go over my mouth in shock. “Bloody hell, what a twat.” I sip my drink as I try to process this. “Surely nobody believes him, right?”
She shrugs. “You remember what it is like to be fifteen. Any gossip is hurtful. Even if it isn’t true.”
“Fuck’s sake. What is she going to do?”
“I tell you what I’m going to do: I’m going to march into the school and rearrange the fucker’s face.”
I laugh into my drink. “That will work.”
“I’m not even joking. What kind of kid does that to a young girl?”
I shake my head. “If I knew what goes through every man’s brain, I would be a millionaire by now.” I sigh. All week I have waited by my phone for Vegas guy to call, but, of course, he hasn’t. As each day ticked on by so did a little piece of hope that I would be seeing him again.
I really thought we had something.
Jen watches me for a moment. “I can’t believe he didn’t call you.”
“I can,” I mutter sadly. “I knew he was too good to be true.” I fake a smile. “You know the old saying-what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” I shrug. “And besides, he lives in Texas.”
“Do you think he really lived in Texas, or was that another lie?”
I raise my eyebrows at the depressing thought. “God, probably another lie. He’s not a fucking mechanic. I know that for certain. Who knows what else he lied about?”
“You never know… fate may step in and you might see him again.”
I smile broadly and roll my eyes. “Will you stop with the fate shit? If we were fated to be together he would have called me, and right at this moment, I would have been staring at him across the table instead of having this conversation with you.”
Jen shrugs as she grabs my hand over the table. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Was he really that nice? Surely there was something wrong with him.”
I shake my head in disgust. “Jen, I don’t even know where to start. He was hotter than hot. Funny. Beyond beautiful and way smarter than me.”
She smiles into her drink. “I seriously doubt that, and besides, he must be a fucking idiot not to call you.”
We clink our glasses together and I smile with gratitude. I love Jen. She always pulls me out of my funks.
The waitress arrives with our entrée and I snap myself out of my depressive state. “Anyway, I’m making myself forget Vegas guy from here on in. He may have ruined me forever, but I intend to pick myself up and dust myself off,” I tell her as I raise my glass in the air. “I shall never give a thought to him again.”
“Here, here.” She smiles. “Are we going to meet the others at Luco?”
I take a mouthful of my grilled halloumi cheese salad and shake my head. “Hmm, this is good.” I gesture to my food. “You know I don’t really feel like going to Luco tonight.”
“Why not?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. It’s a dating kind of place and it’s not like I am going to see Vegas guy sitting there waiting for me.”
Jen giggles around her mouthful of food. “You wish.”
I laugh and sip my drink. “Tonight, we are going dancing. Screw bar Luco.”
Five years later
Ashley
The moving trucks come to a stop in the wide street, and my eyes flicker over to the back seat. “This is it, baby.” I smile.
Owen looks out of the window towards our new house and I feel my nerves flutter deep in my stomach.
It looks okay.
The house is two-story with faded yellow weather-boards. It has a large veranda that wraps around the house. Climbing roses scale the posts, and a cobblestone path leads up to the front steps. It looks welcoming. I glance back and forth up the wide street and the neat manicured lawns of the well-kept surrounding houses.
“It looks so nice, doesn’t it?” I smile at him through the rear view mirror.
He nods as he holds his blanket tightly between his little fingers. His angel face is staring out the window in awe.
This will be the new start we need.
The last few years have been hard-harder than hard for me. My big dreams are just a distant memory now.
I met a guy, got engaged, and was happy for a while, until our relationship broke down. All while putting myself through med school.
I had big dreams of being a hotshot surgeon until I fell pregnant. It wasn’t planned and I don’t know how it happened, but it did and I didn’t find out until I was showing. I’d had the contraceptive injection and it should have worked for another twelve months. I never even considered that I would be in the two percent of the female population who it didn’t work on. I didn’t get a period, so I didn’t miss it when it didn’t come.
It was shocking, it was devastating, but now, looking at the little boy with the perfect face in the back seat who has taught me how to adult, I count it as the biggest blessing of my life.
He was always meant to come-always meant to be my son.
The timing was just off, that’s all.
I’m over it now, over the whole stigma of being a single mom.
The disappointment of shattered dreams.
I’m over the urge to go out and have fun with people my own age. I do grieve the loss of opportunity to fall in love for me. I wanted to marry for passion and true love.