Disgrace

Chapter Hundred and Ninety – Disgrace.
Jaden’s POV
The bar was getting empty. It was getting late.
I looked outside and the clouds were gathering. It was almost raining. But I couldn’t go home.
Everything about me wasn’t a lie, but they weren’t like I thought.
My mother and Logan had a past together, I didn’t want to know how. But she regretted it.
Did I need to let anyone know? Perhaps it wasn’t necessary for them to know. But as I knew, it made me feel small, so small.
Before I left the pack, my mother had said she’d break this news to my mate. I couldn’t fight it.
Rihanna needed to know, maybe Jake, Jonah and Chris too. Logan would speak of it next time we met and it’d be wrong to hear it then.
The bartender came to me as the only customer. I gulped down the alcohol, that felt like water.
These things didn’t work on Alpha wolfs so was a waste of time. I sighed, dropping the glass cup.
“Do you want a stronger one?” the bartender asked with a smile. “You look really wasted.”
“Won’t a stronger one make me look even more wasted?” I hissed, walking out on him.
His payment was already on the table so I left before I made a disgrace of myself.
Not like I wasn’t a disgrace already.
As I strolled around Boots and Rivers market, my eyes caught some feminine ornaments I’d like to get for my mother.
But remembering her reminded me of her horrid words to me last night. Logan was my father.
I preferred my mother’s mate and Jake’s dad, who treated me badly, to be my father than a beast who harmed the ones I loved.
No matter what, Jake’s father had still trained me and my wolf. He was strict and mean, but I had gotten used to it.
My uncles made my life miserable but they still fed me and protected me from rogues one time I got lost in the forest.
It may all have been out of duty to my mother but they played it right.
Logan, on the other hand, had always known I was his son yet put me in hectic situations.
Hurt my mate countlessly, raided packs I allied with, struck fear in my Kingdom and killed Ralph.
How could I be the offspring of such a beast!
Was it too much to ask to have a loving father? Then I’d rather stick with the one I grew with.
I wiped off the tear that rolled down while I was battling with my thoughts.
I went to the shop I’d been besides and bought as many ornaments that caught my fancy.
The seller was pleased and wrapped then in a silky bag that she gifted me. Her kind gesture made me smile.
As I walked away, I sensed a familiar energy coming around me. My smile faded.
I didn’t want anyone I know coming around me in this state I was in. I was a disgrace now.
“Why do you still have shame if you’re a disgrace?” Leon asked me.
He had been silent since morning.
I cornered, avoiding the familiar energy.
The strength to engage Leon wasn’t there but replied. “I should still have shame or no?”
“You should but do you know why you do? You aren’t a disgrace if you do.” He said.
“If you are trying to make me feel better, forget it. My father is Logan. Imagine that…”
“And your mother is Alpha Joanna of Black Rose.” He shut me up. “She kept on reminding you that but you only think of your father.”
My fists clenched on the bag I was holding. Did it matter who my mother was?
No one would judge me for being her son, but they surely would for being Logan’s son.
“I hate myself for being his son too…” I said aloud. No one was around me.
“I hate that it was my father that caused chaos in this land. I hate that..” the remaining words got stuck in my throat.
I swallowed them down.
The energy cornered to where I stood and a frown came to my face. Was this person tracking me? I turned to face them when they were closer.
My heart sank seeing Jake and Hunter. They were the last people I was expecting to meet.
Basically they were my brothers, one shared my mother and the other my… father.
“We didn’t expect to you here.” Jake chuckled. “I escaped with Hunter since you aren’t around for his training but you caught us.”
Hunter ran to me and hugged me. He tend to do that a lot and now I wondered if he could feel our connection. “Did you come to buy my sword?”
I forced a smile on my face. “No, I remembered one I used as a kid, you can use that for now till I get you a new one, a very special one.”
“It’s alright, if it’s good I don’t mind a new one.” He smiled. “I’d fight knowing an Alpha used it.”
Jake laughed. “The kid was a joy.” He pulled him back to himself. “Why’re you here though?”
I could never tell him. The bag I held got shaken by Hunter. “He came shopping for my Alpha.”
My head snapped at him. He knew Rihanna was my mate? But I relaxed. There was no need to hide it anyway.
I’d actually like everyone to know so she’d have no reason to leave me.
“You know your Alpha is his mate?” Jake asked.
Hunter laughed. “Yes, Liam told me when they had a couple quarrel.”
Jake’s mouth fell but he began laughing too. “Okay, Jaden, soon the whole Kingdom would know you and Rih’s little secret.”
I couldn’t laugh with them.
The bag I held had an inner bag inside so I divided the ornaments in two. “Give one to mother and to your Alpha.”
Hunter gasped as I handed one to him. “A gift? Thank you!”
Why was he thanking me? It wasn’t to him. His words made me smile. I turned away from them.
“Jake, you can train Hunter a bit. I’d stay here for a while, please?” I pleaded with my brother.
He gave me careful looks. “I may not be psychic like Ralph but I know something bothers you.”
He mentioning Ralph dampened my spirits.
“Just come home early so we’d have lunch with mom. She wasn’t glad you weren’t around for breakfast.” He held unto Hunter. “Bye then.”
I watched them leave. Hunter kept on looking at me till I was out of sight. I heaved a sigh, both of relief and stress.
No one should know what’s on in my head.
A typical Ralph would’ve read me but not to the extent of knowing Logan was my father.
I missed him and his temper, I missed all of it.