Chapter Hundred-One – Inner desires.
Chris’s POV
Call me a bad Alpha King, but I was my mother’s son before I took that shitty title, a title I’d be losing soon anyway.
I helped the Red Moon warriors gather their wounded warriors. Logan had visited them as well, he was being a wild fire.
Reminded me of Your Silver, only that there was no purpose in his fight. Your Silver had fans, the slaves she saved.
But Logan, destroyed everything and for what reason? Surely not worth the lives of the wolfs.
“I hope Your Silver is doing well at Blue Bloom. And Jaden at Blue Fire. We being at Red Moon, when they are no longer part of us, is wrong!”
My wolf, Zeke, had to rub it in.
“My mother stays here. This is her pack. I was just worried. Aren’t you?” I asked him.
He didn’t reply but I still felt his disagreement.
Maybe I was a bad Alpha King but I had other wolves who could handle it. Red Moon had no one to help or encourage them.
The Red Moon Alpha approached me, having his wounded lead warrior on his shoulders.
He slowed down, making eye contact with me but then increase his pace.
“I didn’t believe when I was told you are here.” He grinned.
The lead warrior on his shoulders looked up at me, I ignored him. He was my mother’s younger brother and fully involved in the mate swap.
“Yes, I came because these wolfs are innocent. And they were once my subjects.” I said with a nod. “I’d best be on my way now.”
I made to leave but the lead warrior spoke, making me halt.
“You came to know how your mother is doing, right? You don’t have to act like you aren’t her son…”
“Maybe I am. But is she my mother?” I retorted.
My uncle left his Alpha’s shoulders, struggling to stand on his own. “What kind of question is that? Because she isn’t your father’s real Luna?”
That was not even close to the reason. I was her son nevertheless, whether I liked it or not.
But did she see herself as my mother?
She lied to me, and Vanessa. She knew what the sorcery practice would do to her children’s reputation yet ventured into it.
She placed us in the middle of hatred and self doubt, and forever scarred my father, a man she claimed to love, emotionally.
She destroyed my life with my first mate and convinced Vanessa not to chase after the Black Rose Delta.
She wasn’t a good mother and only cared about being the Black Hills’ Luna.
So my question stood. I was her son, but did she ever consider herself as my mother? She rarely acted it.
But pouring out my feelings and how hurt I was would make me look weak, I was supposed to be the Mighty Alpha King with no worries.
There was no one to share my pain with and receive no judgement. No one saw my weakness, or accepted them.
Weird enough, the only one who knew I had a weakness was Your Silver, one person I hurt a lot.
And seeing the weakness, she used it to mock me instead. I’d always be the villain, alone and hated.
I snapped from my thoughts and faked a smile at my uncle. “I don’t have to answer you. Since you look safe, I’d be leaving now.”
I made to leave again but my arm was held. My fist clenched and whoever held it let it go.
When I turned, I saw the Red Moon’s Alpha, he bowed. “Thank you for stopping by and helping us. And personally, I apologize for everything.”
The mate swap deal happened before he was born so I’d never blame him. I nodded. “It’s alright. Take care of your pack.” I finally left.
Standing outside their border, I laid my eyes on the ruins on the ground. Blood splatter and weapons were scattered everywhere.
Logan would never be spared again if he was seen, this wasn’t the case of imprisonment but death.
I almost left for Black Hills before I remembered I hadn’t come alone. Edwin was at neighboring lands, searching for his sister.
As Red Moon was closer to Silver Pack, he checked if they kept his sister around.
It’d be bad for Your Silver if he found Sasha around her pack, though it wouldn’t be concrete proof that she had her.
My wolf came to the surface, probably for another scolding. I braced myself internally for it.
Even my own wolf wasn’t on my side, who else will be? “You can start guilt tripping me now.” I reminded since he was quiet.
He sighed. “I don’t enjoy guilt tripping you but I just don’t get your emotions.” Nobody could.
“At least, I’m your wolf so I should know. You make me feel like you don’t want to be an Alpha King, but you do.” He continued.
Did he filter that out from my deeper inner desires? I tried to block him out but he fought for a connection.
“Did I just make sense? Are you trying to deny it? Don’t you want to be the Alpha King? Do you feel you’d prefer a quieter life?” he bombarded me with questions.
I blocked him off there, feeling ashamed of my inner desires being revealed.
He was my wolf, but I should have room for my own ponders. Being an Alpha King was an honor, and a privilege at a point.
I was grateful. Losing it, like I was about to, felt very painful.
But did I enjoy being a King? I don’t know.
Edwin tugged on my mind link and I exhaled, expecting any bad news. “Did you find her?”
His breathing hitched then he sniffed. Was he in tears? “Edwin, where are you?” I tried to search for his energy around me.
Did Logan catch up with him? How far was he?
“I found a girl, a dead girl here. I know my heart won’t take this.” He sobbed, then choked.
My legs were frozen. He found a girl? That was what made him in tears? He was hard to reach. What was about the girl?
I wondered if I’m to go back to Red Moon and ask them to find Edwin.
They knew this place better than I did. “Edwin, where are you?”
“I… I’m not sure… but I can find my way back, don’t worry. I’m coming to you now. Should I bring her?” He sniffed.
He seemed to be getting better. Who was this girl and how could she provoke an emotion in Edwin?
“Bring her then.” I’d know when he’d come.