Brooke’s eyes widen. “Oh, hell.”
Jolie cringes. “Is it weird meeting guys he’s been with?”
“It’s weird meeting anyone your partner’s been with.” I huff. “And now I find out that Robert is calling him all the time.”
“Who’s Robert?” Brooke frowns.
“His ex,” Jolie and I both say in tandem. Jolie has met Robert a few times. She doesn’t know him well but she knows who he is.
“God.” Brooke sighs. “So, who’s the girl? I thought he’s never been with a woman before you?”
“Well,” I whisper. “Where do I start?”
The waitress arrives with our new bottle of wine. Jolie takes the bottle from her and refills our glasses. “At the very beginning.”
Nathan
I walk into the cocktail bar just around 11:00 p. m.
Eliza hasn’t called me so I’m assuming she wants me to just show up.
I see the girls sitting at a high table. Eliza waves in an unexaggerated way, and I smile. She’s well on her way to being drunk. As I get closer, I can see that they all are.
“Hey, there.” Eliza smiles as she slides her hands around my waist, under my jacket. I lean and kiss her lips, and then look up to the girls. It looks like I’m forgiven. “Hi.”
The girls both smile. “Hi, Nathe.”
Brooke puts her hands over her eyes. “You two are actually together. I mean, I knew it, but I haven’t seen it with my own eyes until now.”
Eliza smiles as she leans into me, and I hold her tight. She’s so cuddly and affectionate when she drinks.
“I’m finishing my drink, and then we’ll go home.” She smiles up at me.
“Okay.”
“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” she says.
“I’m coming,” Brooke says. She jumps from her stool, and they toddle off arm in arm, leaving me to sit down. I pick up Eliza’s margarita and take a sip.
Jolie’s eyes hold mine as if she has something on her mind.
I raise my eyebrow at Jolie. “What’s that look for?”
“How’s this going to go, Nathan?” she slurs. She’s a lot drunker than she looks.
“How’s what going to go?”
“Eliza’s heart.”
I bite my lip as I try to hold my tongue. Jolie winds me up on the best of days. “You don’t need to worry about Eliza’s heart, Jolie.”
“Don’t I?”
I glare at her. My fury begins to boil.
“Your ex-boyfriend told her at her conference that you’re just looking for a uterus. Is that true?”
“What the hell does that mean?” I snap.
“What are you planning? Give her five years and three kids, and then go back to your ex, while your best friend raises your kids alone?”
“What the fuck?” I growl as my temper breaks.
“Nathan,” Eliza whispers from behind me as she arrives back at the table.
I stand in a rush, and Eliza grabs my arm.
“Nathan, calm down. What… what did you say to him?” Eliza stammers to Jolie.
“How dare you even suggest such a thing!” I yell.
Brooke looks between us. “What did you say, Jo?”
“I asked him if he’s in love with Eliza or if he’s just looking for an incubator to make his babies.” She huffs.
Eliza’s face falls. “Jolie.” She gasps.
“You make me sick. You’re a fucking hypocrite, just like the rest of them.” I sneer at Jolie. “I thought we were friends?”
“How am I a hypocrite?” She gasps, as if offended.
“Oh, I’m your friend, Nathan. You have my full support. I love all people, Gay Pride, I go to Mardi Gras and celebrate. Let’s change our Facebook banner to prove we love gay people. Much like the rest of society, you play the game of acceptance, don’t you? Love is love, they all say… until it’s fucking not!” I cry. “A man who’s been with men in the past, who then falls in love with a woman must have an agenda, mustn’t he?” I yell. “There’s no way that I could just be in love with Eliza, is there?” I lose all control. “Love isn’t fucking love, is it?” I cry. “Love is judgement.”
“I didn’t mean-”
“Yes, you did. So, don’t you sit there with your pathetic hypocrisy and pretend to be accepting.” I slam my drink down on the table. “This. This, exactly right here, is why people like me don’t feel accepted in society. Because backstabbing assholes like you play the acceptance game until it’s on someone you know and care about. Then it’s wrong, and you suddenly can’t get your head around it.”
“Nathan.” Eliza pulls at me. “Let’s go.”
“You want to know an agenda, Jolie, you idiot?” I yell, I’ve completely lost control of my temper. “An agenda is a guy that sleeps with a woman to get porn footage.”
Her face falls.
“Oh, but that’s okay.” I shake my head in disgust. “Because he’s straight and normal, so he must be a good guy.”
Eliza pulls me toward the door. I get a lump in my throat, overwhelmed with emotion.
Love is love… What a joke.
I storm toward the door as adrenaline pumps through my system like never before.
I’m livid.
I burst out the doors of the bar in a rush, and Eliza is near running beside me to keep up.
“Nathan, don’t worry about what she said. It was out of line, I’m sorry.”
I stride along the sidewalk toward the car.
“Why would you let her worry you?” She cries. “We know it’s not true… is it?”
I keep walking as my temper hits crescendo.
Now I’ve fucking heard it all.
She’s questioning if I actually want her for a child. Here I am loving her with my everything, and she thinks I’m using her.
If she stabbed me in the heart it would be less painful.
And you think you know someone.
“Nathan?”
“Go back inside, Eliza.” I growl. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“What? Why?”
“Do you even fucking know me at all?” I cry.
She runs beside me. “I met someone you know at the conference.”
I keep walking toward my car.
“His name was Zavier, and you know Zavier, don’t you?”
I stay silent, my fury beyond boiling point.
“Zavier said-” She stammers in a rush.
“I know what he said!” I cry, cutting her off. “And the fact that you don’t know the answer to it proves my fucking point.”
“Will you slow down? I’m going to break my neck in these heels.”
“I mean it. I don’t want to be near you; go back inside.”
“Nathan.” She grabs my hand and pulls me back to a stop. “I’m sorry I spoke to my friends about it, okay? It upset me and I needed to vent.”
I stare at her, lost for words, this hurts. “I asked you at least twenty times last night what was wrong, and you wouldn’t tell me. Then I turn up here to be abused by your friend. How do you think that makes me feel, Eliza?”
“I needed to talk to someone.”
“So, talk to me!” I yell. “Why are we together if you can’t even talk to me?”
Her eyes search mine.
“You think I need an agenda to love you?” I cry out.
“I’m just scared, Nathan.”
“Of what, Eliza? Of being like the rest of them? Of judging me because of who I’ve slept with?” I step back from her, disgusted. “Well, guess what… you should be scared because you are just like them.”
Her eyes well with tears. “That’s not fair.”
“I’ll tell you what’s not fair. It’s spending ten years of your life with someone, falling hopelessly in love with them, only to have them tell their friends that they think you’re using them to have a child.” I get a lump in my throat as I stare at her, my heart constricts.
This hurts.
I can’t be near her. I turn and get into my car, slamming the door hard.
“Nathan!” she cries.
I start the car, and she throws her arms up.
“What are you doing?” She bangs on my window.
I pull out into the traffic. “Getting away from you,” I mutter to myself.