I want to run to her and take her in my arms… but I won’t. I’ll stand here and act cool, as if my entire world hasn’t nearly ended this week without her.
Henry waves and nods, and I wave back, embarrassed by my behaviour before they left.
Eliza comes over to me, and I take her in my arms and kiss her softly. “Here she is.”
“Hi.” She smiles as she runs her fingers through my stubble.
“Feels like a long time since I’ve seen you,” I murmur as I hold her tight.
“I’m home now, baby.” She smiles and kisses me. “Come on.” She takes my hand in hers. “Let’s go home.”
We walk to the car hand in hand, and she chats away, telling me about her week. I watch her in a detached daze.
How have I come to depend on her so much? I can’t even sleep without her in bed with me. I’ve tossed and turned every night, watching the clock until the sun came up.
We arrive at the car and, unable to wait any longer, I take her face in my hands and kiss her deeply. My tongue pushes through her soft open lips. Her hands rest on my hips, and my cock begins to swell with every sweep of our tongues.
“What’s for dinner?” she asks, pulling away.
“I don’t know what you’re eating,” I say as I open her door, “but I’m eating you.”
Once in the car, we drive in silence, and I hold her hand in my lap.
She’s quiet.
“Are you tired, babe?” I ask.
“A little.” She kisses my fingertips. “What’s been happening here?”
“Nothing. I had surgery on Wednesday, and clinic all week. The apartment is lonely without you.” She presses my hand to her cheek as she watches me. But it’s a weird kind of look, as if she’s assessing me. Maybe she can sense my fragility. Perhaps it’s just in my imagination.
“I missed you,” she whispers.
Relief floods me. “I missed you, too… more than you know.”
We arrive home, and I put my hands over her eyes as we walk through the front door.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“What is it?”
I walk her into the living room and stand her in front of the wall and I take my hands away from her eyes. Her mouth falls open as she stares at the huge painting hanging on the wall.
While she was away, I had a photo of us on our first night in Majorca commissioned to be painted in a semi-abstract way. It was copied from a photo of her and me facing each other. We are holding hands and staring at each other dreamily on a bridge in front of the ocean. We look so deliriously happy. It was the night we went home and made love for the first time. I’d asked a stranger to take a photo of us, and this one was taken when we weren’t looking. Eliza loved the photo so much that she made it the background of her cell. I loved it so much that I made it the focus of our apartment.
Eliza stands still and stares at the huge painting on the wall.
“Do you like it?” I ask.
She nods, her eyes welling with tears. “It’s perfect.”
“What’s wrong?” I frown.
“Nothing. These are happy tears.” She takes me into her arms. “I love it. Thank you.”
We kiss as she holds me tight. She screws up her face against my chest, as if pained.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I whisper, something is off with her.
“Nothing.” She smiles sadly and takes my hand in hers. “Come on, shower time.”
We walk into the bathroom and she lifts my shirt over my head as we kiss. I unfasten her dress and throw it aside. We stand in our underwear for a long time, kissing, drinking each other in. For the first time all week, I feel like I can breathe again.
“God, I missed you,” I murmur against her lips.
Her face creases and tears form again. An uneasy feeling washes over me. Something’s wrong, she’s never teary.
“What is it?” I frown.
“I’m just glad to be home. I’m over-emotional-hormones, probably.” She pulls me into the shower.
I pin her to the wall of the shower as my arousal escalates. We kiss like it’s our last kiss, and I lift her and she wraps her legs around me. Her soft, lush body pressed up against mine is the ultimate aphrodisiac. This is when we are at our best, when there is nothing between us. I grab the base of my cock and slide her down onto it. She moans, deep and loud as we stare into each other’s eyes.
I’ve missed her.
My need for friction takes over and I slowly begin to move her up and down on my body, her beautiful cunt rippling around me.
Milking me, making me hers.
She tips her head back and moans as she comes hard. I feel the vise-like grip on my cock, and I put my hands on the back of her shoulders for leverage and let her have it. The sound of our skin slapping in the water echoes throughout the bathroom.
Fuck, I love that sound.
I give her all the emotion I’ve suffered this week without her. I give her all of myself. Every inch.
I hold myself deep, and then I come, hard, deep inside her body. Her face creases as if she’s overcome with emotion before she drops her head to my chest. She clings to me and I hold her up, my heart racing. She’s panting, and I frown as I hold her. What’s going on here?
She’s different.
* * *
It’s late, and we’re in bed, on our sides, staring at each other.
We’ve made love for hours. We crossed over to a new level of intimacy.
It was soft and tender, intense and passionate, as if tonight is all we have.
Eliza is teary every time she comes, and I don’t know if it’s because the love we’re making is so special or if it’s something else, but she won’t tell me why. She keeps telling me that she’s just hormonal. I hope to God that that’s the truth.
Is she feeling guilty about something?
I want to push her for an answer but she seems so delicate and close to the edge.
The edge of what, I just don’t know.
She sits up and runs her fingers over my tattoo of the three swallows.
She kisses the first two-her and me-and then she runs her finger over the back one as she stares at it.
“Who is this bird?” she asks. I frown as our eyes lock. “Who is this bird at the back?” She traces it with her finger.
“It’s…” I pause as I search for the right description. “It’s… symbolic.”
“Of who?”
“I told you. Of the life I left behind.”
Her eyes hold mine before they go back to the swallow. She’s deep in thought, miles away.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing,” she lies and climbs back up into my arms. I hold her tightly, and our lips meet, our bodies a naked tangle. The sex we had is still smeared on our skin. “How long have you wanted children?” she asks.
I frown, where is this coming from? “What?”
“You said that you were open to anything.”
“I am and I know that you want them, so I’ve actually started to look forward to it one day.” I smile softly as imagine Eliza with a baby-my baby. “Why do you ask?”
“I wondered how long you wanted them, that’s all.”
“I hadn’t ever put any thought into it before.” I rub my whiskers back and forth across her cheek. “But the world is full of possibilities with you by my side.”
I feel her smile against my chest.
I kiss her forehead and hold her tightly in my arms.
“You know you will always be my best friend,” she murmurs sadly.
I frown, that sounded……off. “What does that mean?” I ask.
“Nothing. I just wanted you to know that.” She kisses my chest. “I love you. I really do love you, Nathan. More than anything.”
“I love you, too.”
“Goodnight, Nathe,” she whispers as her eyes flutter closed.
“Night.”
An uneasy feeling washes over me. It’s like she’s reassuring me of our friendship.
Why?
Why would she say that unless she was pre-empting an end to our relationship?
What the fuck is going on?