CHRISTOPHER
I lie on the sand in the darkness. The distant thrill of partying sounds in the distance. The beach is quiet and deserted. There are a million things running through my mind.
Seeing her tonight . . .
It’s unnatural not to touch Hayden . . . to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I need her.
I never believed in love. I thought it was a fantasy that only lonely people talked themselves into needing. I didn’t think that it was possible to care for someone as much as I do her. And I know that we can’t be together, and I know that it will never work out between us, but seeing her in the flesh has opened a wound . . . my heart aches for what it can’t have.
Another moment in her arms.
I get a vision of her at the bar earlier tonight, so detached, so unlike the warm and gentle Hayden I know.
Seven weeks have dragged so slowly, and yet seeing her tonight, it’s like she never left.
Everything feels the same, perhaps even stronger.
I’m completely and utterly fucked.
I stare up at the moon. So many nights Hayden and I would lie on this beach and dream about the future. But looking back now, it was her doing all the dreaming while I listened. I already knew my fate . . . I just never let on at the time. If only I was honest with myself and her, then I could have saved us both a lot of heartache.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
If only . . .
HAYDEN
I walk into the cafeteria with a new sense of purpose. A good night’s sleep has worked wonders. I was so rude last night when Christopher told me his plans with Eddie. I wasn’t supportive at all, but in my defense, I was in total shock.
Christopher taking on Eddie is the last thing I would expect, but after thinking on it all night, I’m not surprised. Christopher has the biggest heart of anyone I know.
Of course he would take him on. He adores him. And he’s right: he can’t leave him here all alone.
I catch sight of Christopher sitting at the back table. He’s on the phone, and he gives me a wave.
Right . . .
I drop my shoulders, determined to be a better person, and I make my way over and sit down beside him.
Christopher smiles as he listens to the person on the other end of his phone call. “Right.” He listens. “And there is absolutely no way to expedite this?”
He frowns and then drags his hand down his face. “Fuck . . .”
Is something wrong? “What’s going on?” I mouth.
He rolls his eyes. “Thank you, I appreciate it.” He listens again. “So I’ll just wait to hear from you, then?”
I sit quietly as I listen in.
“Okay, thanks.” He hangs up and lets out a deep sigh.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“There’s good news and bad news.”
“Good first.”
“I can get Eddie out of the country if I sponsor him as an employee rather than as a homeless child.”
“Okay, well, that’s good.” I smile. “What’s the bad news?”
“It’s going to take a couple of weeks to organize the paperwork.”
“Why is that a problem?”
“I have to be back at work. There’s no way around it. I have meeting after meeting booked, and I can’t cancel again, but then I can’t leave him here alone either. If something happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Oh . . .” I think for a moment. “I could stay here with him.”
Christopher frowns.
“Yeah, why not?” I shrug. “I don’t have to be back for anything. I’ll just stay here with him, and you and he can keep working, and then when the paperwork is ready, you can come back and collect him.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Of course I’d do that for you. I’d do anything for you, Christopher.”
“Really?”
“You’re my best friend.” I smile.
His face falls. “You’ve friend zoned me?”
“Babe . . .” I shrug as I put my hand over his on the table. “We started out as friends, and we will always be friends.”
“But what about . . .”
“Our situation hasn’t changed, and no matter how much we care for each other . . .” My voice trails off, not wanting to say the words out loud.
“You’re right,” he agrees. “We will never work. I do know that.”
My heart drops. I was hoping he would tell me that there’s a solution to our problem.
Nothing has changed.
“So when will you leave?” I ask to change the subject.
“Tomorrow.”
“Oh.”
His eyes hold mine.
“So soon?”
“Yes.”
I nod, deflated. “Okay.”
“I’ll get you a nice apartment to stay in.”
“No, we’re okay here. Eddie can still work then, and it’s not so different for him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, of course.” I smile. “You go back to London and do what you have to do. We’ll be fine.”
I want to blurt out that I don’t care about my life plans anymore. As long as he is in them, then I can make do. But I know I can’t. I made my bed, and now I need to lie in it.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can for him.”
For him.
“Okay.” I force a smile. “He’s a lucky boy to have you take him on.”
“I’m the lucky one.”
We stare at each other and . . .
Oh . . .
My heart aches for this beautiful man.
Eddie saunters into the restaurant like a rock star, and Christopher smiles and waves him over. “Eddie, my man.”
“Hello, Hazen.” He smiles as he sits down beside me.
“Good morning, bubba.” I smile as I wipe the hair back from his forehead. He smiles down at me, and my heart melts. I do love this boy.
“Good news,” Christopher tells him. “They are organizing the paperwork for you to come and stay with me.”
Eddie’s eyes widen in excitement. “They are?”
“They are.” Christopher smiles. “But . . . it’s going to take a little while.”
“How long?”
“A few weeks, and I have work to do, so I’m going to go back to London.”
Eddie’s face falls.