“What’s the fucking shrug mean?” he barks. “A shrug isn’t enough to bank my daughter’s entire future on.”
“It means . . . I will understand,” I snap.
“As long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy.” Hayden smiles over at me.
I lean over and kiss her. “Me too, baby.”
“Give me a break,” Harvey snaps. He throws his napkin on the table in disgust and storms from the room.
“You not going to eat this?” Valerie asks him.
“I just lost my appetite,” he calls. We hear him march up the hall, and the bedroom door slams.
Hayden exhales, and her mother sits still, seemingly in shock.
“I love him, Mom,” she whispers.
“I know.” Valerie smiles sadly.
“I just have to-”
Valerie cuts her off. “I know.”
The cat walks in and lies on the floor, all cute-like, as if purposely trying to distract us, and I roll my eyes.
Where were you ten minutes ago, stupid cat?
You’re fucking late, Bryan.
Two hours later we lie in bed watching television. Hayden is quiet and has hardly said two words since her dad stormed off.
My hand is on her hip as she lies on her side facing away from me.
“He’ll come around,” I say. “Once he gets to know me, I’m sure-”
She cuts me off. “I know.”
But in all honesty, I really don’t know if he will.
We couldn’t be more different.
Hayden switches off her bedside lamp. “Good night,” she says.
“Do I get a good-night kiss?” I ask.
She sits up and kisses me. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I smile. She lies down and puts her back to me again.
Hmm . . . I guess it’s no country loving for me, then.
“Did I eat an organ tonight?” I ask.
Hayden giggles. “I was pulling your leg, you idiot.”
“Oh.” I smile. “Thank the lord.” I completely fell for it.
I turn the television and my side lamp off, and we lie in the darkness.
“Mooooo” sounds in the distance. “Mooo.”
I listen to the symphony of cows for over half an hour.
“Why is that cow doing that?” I ask. “Doesn’t it get a sore throat?”
“We have a few calves coming. I would say someone’s in labor.”
“Oh.” I frown. How odd. “How do you know when they’re pregnant?”
She giggles. “You’re an idiot.”
“But . . .”
“Oh my god, Christopher.” She laughs. “You’re hysterical.”
Hysterical?
I lie in the dark, pondering why I’m a hysterical idiot for not knowing the answer to a legitimate question.
But seriously . . . how do they fucking know?
I wake to the sound of a large engine roaring, and I frown.
What the hell is that?
Hayden isn’t in bed with me.
It’s dawn, early. The sun is just coming up, and I get up and walk to the window and narrow my eyes . . . huh?
Am I seeing this right?
Mist is rolling around on the ground, and Hayden is driving a huge-ass tractor across a paddock and into the distance. There’s a dog sitting on her lap.
What the fuck?
She drives a tractor? And . . . dogs ride on tractors?
Fucking hell, what next?
I go downstairs and make myself a cup of coffee and take a shower. The sun is fully up now, and Hayden still isn’t back.
I open the front door, and another huge dog is lying across the front of the doorway.
“You’re a log of a dog,” I mutter as I step over it. “What’s wrong with you, too fat to climb on the tractor?” I walk out into the paddock and look around; the sun is shining, and the birds are chirping. Even I have to admit it is pretty beautiful out here. I walk in the direction that Hayden drove to. I wonder where she is.
Fifteen minutes later I come over the top of the hill to see the tractor stopped and Hayden and a bit of a fuss going on.
What are they doing up there?
I narrow my eyes to try to focus. I think that’s Harvey too . . . hmm, I can’t turn around now. They’ve seen me already.
Oh well. If he hates me, he hates me.
I walk closer and closer, and I have no idea what’s going on up here.
A cow is lying on its side, leg up in the air, and all the cows in the paddock are crying out as they watch.
This is so strange . . . I keep walking, and as I get closer, I see Hayden is down on her knee beside the cow.
What’s she doing?
Oh . . .
My eyes widen in horror.
Hayden has her arm up a cow’s ass to the armpit . . . or is it a vagina . . . or is it . . .
I feel the blood drain out of my face as my knees go woozy.
I don’t feel so . . .