CHRISTOPHER
I watch her walk off as she disappears through the crowd.
One.
One . . . how is it one? Nobody is one.
My tongue swipes over my bottom lip. It’s still buzzing from that hot fucking kiss.
Hmm . . .
That was unexpected. She isn’t even my type.
“Christo,” I hear someone call.
I turn to see Bernadette. Her arms are wide as she rushes for me. “You didn’t kiss me yet, darling.” She slides her arms around my behind as she pretends to hug me. “It’s the full moon.”
Ugh, this woman is like a rash.
“You weren’t near me.” I fake a smile as I peel her hands off my behind.
Go away.
“That doesn’t matter.” She laughs as she leans in for a kiss . . . I lean back and glance over to see Hayden being led to the dance floor by some guy.
She’s laughing, and he spins her around.
What?
“Kiss me.” Bernadette smiles dreamily up at me.
For fuck’s sake . . . not now, woman.
“No, no, no,” I reply. “We’re roommates,” I tell her. “No hanky-panky.”
I crane my neck to see what Hayden is doing. The guy is talking to her, and she’s laughing as she listens attentively in return.
Hmm . . .
Bernadette goes up on her toes and leans in for the kiss. “Stop.” I wince, annoyed. I push her off me and march toward the dance floor. I fake a smile to the guy and lean in to Hayden. “Can I have a word?”
“What about?” she says loudly, so the guy can hear.
Great.
“Bernadette, our roommate, has gone completely mad, and I need you over here for a moment to talk sense into her.”
“Oh . . .” Her face falls.
“I’ll wait here for you,” the guy says.
“That won’t be necessary,” I reply. I drag her to the bar.
She begins to look around. “Well, where is she?”
“Oh, look, she’s better now. Listen,” I blurt in a rush. “We have other things to discuss.”
She frowns.
“That kiss . . . now, that was unexpectedly hot, and we need to do it again so that I can fully gauge the situation.”
“So Bernadette hasn’t gone completely mad?” She frowns.
“Who gives a fuck? Listen . . . ,” I continue. “About that one-lover thing . . .”
“Are you serious?” she snaps.
“Deadly.” I put my arms around her and pull her close.
“Stop it.” She pushes me away. “I don’t want to kiss you.”
“What?” I gasp. “Why not?”
“Ew . . . you’re not my type.”
“Ew?” I widen my eyes. How rude. “What are you talking about? I’m everybody’s type.”
“Not mine.”
“You don’t even know your type yet. There was only one. Here, I’ll show you.” I reach for her again.
“I like blond, skinny, and sensitive.” She bats her eyelids to be a smart-ass.
The exact opposite of me.
I can’t help myself. I retaliate. “We do have some things in common. I like blonde, skinny, and horny.”
Ugh . . . stop talking, fool.
“Good for you.” She holds her arms out to the crowd. “There are plenty of them here. Go get one.”
What is this woman doing? Nobody has ever knocked me back before.
“Don’t you think we should explore that kiss a little further, do some investigative research?” I ask her.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I didn’t like it.”
“What?” I gasp. “That kiss was fucking hot, Grumps. What are you talking about?”
“Not for me. It was a bit sloppy, if I’m honest.”
I stare at her, horrified.
What do you mean?
“Well . . . that was all your fault,” I splutter. “You threw in the number one thing right before, and I was shell shocked, that’s all. I can do better.” I grab for her. “I’ll show you now.”
“Goodbye, Christopher.” She turns and walks back to that guy on the dance floor.
I stand still, outraged, my hands firmly planted on my hips.
Ha . . . what an idiot. She doesn’t know what she’s missing.
I walk over to the side of the dance floor and size up the guy she’s talking to.
Blond and skinny . . . boring looking. I watch them for a while, and Hayden seems very interested in everything the fucker says . . . I can’t even imagine what dreary shit he’s talking about.
Screw this.
I march off to the bar.
“Oh, Christo.” Bernadette runs after me.
Fucking hell, this woman is killing me.
I need some rat bait.
An hour later I’m standing talking to a group of people, and I catch sight of the kid who works here. He’s walking around and collecting glasses. I watch him for a while: so young to be in an environment like this. He seems totally unfazed and getting on with the job.
“Where are you from, Christo?” a woman asks me.
“New York, originally. I live in the UK now.”
“Oh, I live in the UK. Where are you?” She smiles.
There’s a group of guys to the left of the dance floor, rolling blind drunk and being obnoxious. I sip my beer as I watch them. I’m not sure where they come from, but they are speaking French. One of them steps back and bangs into the kid. He knocks the glasses out of his hands.
“Regardez ou vous marchez, putain l’idiot!” he yells at him. (Translation: Watch where you’re walking, you fucking idiot.)
The kid bends down to pick up the dropped plastic glasses. He glances up, but it’s obvious he doesn’t understand the language.
“M’as-tu entendu?” the guy yells as he stands over him. (Translation: Did you hear me?)
I pass my beer to the girl on my left and make my way over.
“Reponds-moi espece de putain de cochon grossier.” (Translation: Answer me, you fucking rude pig.)
Adrenaline surges through me, and I stand in front of the kid. “Recule la merde.” (Translation: Back the fuck up.)