(Renata Pellegrini)
I watch a woman in uniform place the food on my plate, the smell of lasagna permeating my nostrils, makes my stomach churn. I can’t even remember the last time I ate.
I can’t help the memories, this is the second dish my father loved to make.
If it were back then, I would feel shy to have someone putting the food out for me, as if I were an invalid, but after going out so much with Filippo to restaurants, social business dinners, I’ve gotten used to it. And that’s how I see this house, it’s just a place that I’m visiting, soon I’ll be away from here.
I feel like protesting about the amount put on my plate, but I need to maintain etiquette. As soon as the woman leaves the dining room, I start to eat. Unfortunately for etiquette, I can’t keep my cool and eat quickly, I don’t think it took me even a minute to finish the small slice.
“Did it taste good?” Dominic speaks up, reminding me of his existence.
“It was edible.” I speak trying to sound cold, but I wanted to say it again, I’m still hungry.
“Strong genius, just like his mother.” He says and a small smile lines the corner of Dominic’s mouth. “How are you feeling? I tried to get her back when she was kidnapped by James, but I had to resort to the help of her future husband.”
“I am feeling that I am still under kidnapping, imprisoned.”
“Don’t say that dear, this is your home too, you…”
“No, this is a stranger’s house.” I speak rudely, interrupting him. “A stranger who was accused of killing my parents.” I say and cross my arms. “Are you going to deny it?” I question.
Deep down, I root for him to deny it. I’ve always hated rich people for discarding poor people as if they were trash because of the un-avenged death of my parents, but to understand that the one who killed my parents was my grandfather…. that’s too much for me.
“No.” Dominic says looking into my eyes, I close my eyes, breaking the contact.
I swallow dry and feel my eyes burning with tears, I hug my stomach and as strong as I try to be, after so many years, I never thought that my reaction would be to cry uncontrollably in front of my parents’ murderer. I always wanted to meet my father’s Italian relatives, but to my surprise, I found out that, in fact, I don’t have any relatives in Brazil and I’m not even really Brazilian, and the father of my biological mother is the murderer of my birth mother and father, this is hurting.
“Marieta… she…”
“She was my only child, the fruit of my second marriage. I loved her.” He says with apparent sadness.
“You killed her.” I speak as I try to wipe away the tears in my eyes.
“I had no choice…”
“Didn’t you have a choice?” I question in disbelief what I hear. “You chose to take everything from me! You killed my biological mother and not only that, you also killed my foster mother, the woman who loved me, raised me, educated me, did everything for me, a woman who had nothing to do with you, you shot her in the head…”
“I did not give orders to kill the woman, it was only to find Giovanni! My men explained that a woman came between them and they had no choice, but we didn’t know who she was.”
“Do you think I will believe you?”
“When Marieta was sixteen years old, the former Don of the Valentini family and I made a deal: my daughter would marry the Valentinis heir and we would form an alliance, I would give her men, a huge amount of money as dowry and I would share the clientele with the Valentinis. I sought the best for my daughter, a man who would keep her safe, who would honor and care for her, she would have power, she would be envied, I made the best marriage arrangement for her.” He says, becoming agitated. “But she preferred a soldier, she broke the agreement and got pregnant, tainted the honor of my family, and to avoid a war I doubled the amount of the dowry and promised you to the youngest of that family.”
“Then why did you kill my parents!” I shout altered as well. “What kind of fucking world is it that everyone says I’m just a bargaining chip? Why would there be wars because of a marriage that didn’t happen? Who are you people!” I shout, exploding with anger.
“We are mafia, and the two most powerful families are the Martinellis and the Valentinis. For years we fought to take total power, but after so many casualties, we decided to unite our families and seal the peace.”
“They are criminals.” I speak with disdain. “Cold killers, thugs, they should be in jail!”
“Anche tuo padre e a tua madre erano criminali!” – “Your father and your mother were criminals too!” Dominic shouts in Italian. “You wanted your father in jail?”
I keep quiet, the tears don’t stop falling from my eyes. I know I advocate that crimes shouldn’t be committed, but I can’t imagine my father in jail, he was the best man I ever knew.
“I am not proud of most of the things I have done, but I am not a monster, I am a Don and decisions need to be made. I have people I must protect.”
“You killed your own daughter, you can’t be considered a father. I feel sorry for those people who need your protection, a barbaric man who took the life of his only daughter. – I speak.
“She looked for it!” he shouts. “Unlike you, she grew up knowing the rules and obligations, she knew the consequences, and yet she broke the rules twice! I managed to avoid the first war because you were a girl and the old Don accepted a new agreement, but with the escape attempt my hands were tied!” Dominic shouts in exasperation. “I had no choice… Imagine how many women would be left without husbands, children without fathers, fathers without sons, how many men would have to die in a war because of a woman who broke the rules and tarnished the honor of one of the most powerful families! I needed to make a decision and I chose the lives of innocent people who never did anything wrong against the famiglia.”
“A father would give his own life to save his children.” I say feeling the tears stop falling, but Dominic’s tears shine in his eyes.
I understand his point of view, I don’t know that world, I didn’t grow up in it, but my parents did, and they still broke the rules for me.
“My mother and father gave their lives for me to grow up far from here, they went against everything so that I would be happy.” I speak looking at him with contempt. No matter what he says, I will never accept the fact that a father kills his own daughter.
“And don’t you think I tried? I offered my life for Marieta’s life, but Carlos didn’t accept, he wanted her blood. I offered money, I offered my territory, I offered everything so he wouldn’t go after her, because we already knew about the escape attempt her parents had planned, but it wasn’t enough, he wanted her death to serve as an example and you to continue the marriage with Filippo.” Dominic says and quickly wipes away the tears he let fall.
“So you have been hunting me for more than twenty years, just because of your agreement with this Carlos guy?”
“No! Carlos died two years after his departure, but I wanted to find you, I wanted to see you, I wanted to see the little girl that my little girl gave to life so that she would grow away from the rules of the mafia. I looked for you to have just one meeting with you and ask your forgiveness, but as time went by finding you became more and more difficult so I hired Tiago, but I didn’t expect that he would betray me and try to force you to marry him.”
“I keep being forced to get married, as I remember well that in three days I will be forced to walk down an aisle again.”
“I won’t make the same mistake again, I won’t do to you what I did to Marieta.” He says looking deep into my eyes. “I will not bend to the will of another Valentini.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Three days from now, in front of the altar, I will send the rest of the Valentinis brothers to hell. I won’t let that family take anything else from me.”
“Will you kill Vicenzo and Filippo?”