(Filippo Valentini)
The silence that stretches across this room is heavy. I look at old Dominic and in his wrinkled face I can see that, like me, he too is waiting for an answer from Vicenzo.
“Renata ended up in Filippo’s company because of Matteo, he always knew where your granddaughter was and helped her father to keep her hidden from you.” Vincenzo looks at the old man, whose face starts to turn red with anger.
“I have spent years asking for your help to find my granddaughter, and you are the ones who have kept her hidden from me for all these years!?” Although Dominic speaks with restraint, I can tell in his raspy tone of anger. “Do you realize how much…”
“You killed your only daughter, in front of everyone as an example of what happens to those who disobey your orders.” Vincenzo interrupts him. “You flogged her and then you shot her, your own daughter! You didn’t even give her a burial, you had her thrown into some hole claiming that she brought shame to your famiglia!” My brother speaks too, controlling himself.
I was present on the day. I remember well the woman’s screams, her shredded back, whenever she fainted a bucket of ice water was thrown in her face, and when she stopped screaming a shock baton was used on her. I tried not to look, but whenever I looked away, my father made me keep looking, holding my face and threatening to punish me if I looked away.
“I regretted it!” The old man shouts. “There isn’t a damn day that I don’t regret this, but I am the Don! I had to set an example! She disrespected me, she stayed with one soldier when she was already promised to another, another who was her fratello Matteo! Your father demanded from me attitudes that it was either that or war!”
I don’t remember seeing Dominic during the entire cessation of torture and execution of his own daughter, but the fact that he wasn’t present doesn’t mean that it exempts him from guilt, he preferred to sacrifice the only daughter he had than to face my father.
“To me your regret means nothing!” Vincent softly. “We will rescue the girl, not for you, but for Marieta, the woman who begged my brother for help.”
Dominic answers nothing, he just lowers his head, I have no doubt that his daughter’s spirit torments him, he deserves to suffer.
“Get out of here.” Vicenzo orders, the old man says nothing, just straightens his jacket and leaves the room, leaving me alone with my brother.
“Why wasn’t I told?” I ask, holding myself back from screaming, all this time I have been deceived.
And I ended up falling in love with the woman I thought I had left behind, the woman I never even wanted to know the name of, who was dead or alive, it doesn’t matter to me, and now, I find out that I spent months flattering her to have her in my bed the woman who is rightfully mine!
And what is making me even more pissed off, is that she is now carrying another man’s child!
“Why should we tell you?” Vicenzo props his elbows on the table staring at me with a raised eyebrow. “You ran away from here and never even wanted to know the girl’s name.”
“I didn’t run away, I made a deal with our fratello!” I defend myself.
“You ran away from your responsibility as a husband when you abandoned her! You ran away from your responsibility as a member of this family, no matter how hard you worked in the FBI, you were never here to comfort any of your brothers when we were going through hard times. You rarely called, I can’t even remember the two times you called. You always acted like a hired hand rather than a family member.”
Their complaints squeeze my chest, I know that I was never close to the famiglia, that after I managed to leave, instead of calling, I just answered the phone.
“The deal was, I would stay out of mafia affairs and in exchange I would join the FBI, get your merchandise out of the way, cover your tracks, make weapons and launder money in my company. But you didn’t keep the deal, how many times did I have to do the job that was assigned to you, fratello?”
“Entrusted to me? I was forced to take over your post because you made this deal with Matteo, not with me, I saw my wife killed in front of my eyes, because I had so many jobs I had no time for her, because of my exhaustion I saw her die before my eyes! And you tell me that you did the job assigned to me?”
“It wasn’t my fault! Matteo always warned you, that your treatment was putting you in danger and yet you…”
“Stai zitto!” – “Shut up!” Vicenzo hisses and slams both hands on the table, causing a noise to echo through the room. “Don’t you ever dare say those words again, Filippo. I loved my wife, and I would never treat her as if she were just a means to gain benefits. I tried to give my life for her, because that’s what a marito – ‘husband’- does! We were ambushed, I tried to save her, I will feel guilty for the rest of my life for not having been able to do my duty as a husband, but I will never regret that I treated her with the respect, the care and the love she deserved!”
I can’t answer him, the wrong one in this story is me, the one who abandoned this famiglia, the one who ran away and left everyone behind, who focused so much on me and my career that I only took a break when I was in her arms… My fiancée, the woman I abandoned when she was still in her mother’s womb and when she left, I didn’t even want to know her name or even see her. I saw Marieta die and yet, I abandoned her daughter, whom she gave her life to protect. I am the only wrong one here.
“Tell me: Does it hurt? Knowing that the woman you love is in the hands of a psychopath, a child killer, who has done countless other crimes. To have the chance that maybe he is raping her right now? Does it hurt to imagine that now she might be being tortured and you are here, doing nothing?”
“It hurts.” – I reply in thought, my chest tight.
“She is pregnant.” I speak more quietly than I expected.
“The woman who loves her and your child…”
“That’s not my son.” I interrupted him.
My mouth feels bitter as I speak these words, it hurts me to know that she is pregnant by another man and it is my fault too, I who abandoned her, I who left her behind, I who went after her just to have her in my bed, I who took her virginity, I who made her fall in love and then disappear from her life without leaving any explanation, it is all my fault!
“How can you be so sure?”
“The one time I had sex with her without protection, I made her take the morning-after pill, and every time after that we used condoms.”
“You know that doesn’t work one hundred percent, don’t you? The child she is expecting in her belly could very well be yours.”
“That is not possible, in the…”
“You are not God to say what is possible and what is not, Filippo.” Vincenzo scolded me. “And I think you’d better find her soon, you know very well what mafia men do with women who get pregnant before marriage, you know that if Dominic gets her back first he may very well force her to abort, even if she is no longer fit to marry you, since he doesn’t know that it was you who dishonored his granddaughter, he may very well think that the baby is Tiago’s child.”
I open my mouth to answer him, but my cell phone starts ringing in my pocket, I pick it up and an unknown number flashes on the screen. I think about refusing, but decide to answer.
“Who…”
“You stupid asshole! Who do you think you are to hang up on me!” Amanda screams on the other end of the line.
“Am I the baby’s father?” I insist once more on the question, out of the corner of my eye I see Vicenzo rolling his eyes.
“Ask her when you find her, you bastard!” Sounds of gunshots begin to echo through the call and Amanda hangs up the phone without giving me a chance to respond.
“What are you going to do?” Vicenzo asks, looking at me.
I go into my contact list and call Lucas.
“You have thirty minutes to track down Renata. She must be somewhere here in Italy.” Once again I gave him the tracking service, he is the best at it and it’s no wonder he is with me to this day, being my right-hand man.
I hung up and put the phone away, I needed to get ready to pick up my wife.