Zarek’s POV
Days passed, and despite the weight of the situation, we were no closer to uncovering the full extent of Ryker’s business within our pack. There had been no attacks or ambushes, and for the moment, everyone was safe. The pack had been vigilant, constantly checking on everyone, making sure we all knew our place, making sure we were where we needed to be.
The outside world had gone quiet, as expected. Everyone had been ordered to stay inside unless they were warriors. The warriors had set up camp just outside the pack house and in the center of the village, ready to spring into action if the need arose.
I couldn’t help but feel a little restless. I was used to more action, more of a sense of purpose. But right now, all we had was waiting. In the midst of all this, Kegan and Astrid had turned the pack house into a makeshift daycare for the pups. It was a good way to keep the little ones occupied while their parents patrolled or trained. And they had even made rooms available for pregnant Omegas to rest when their feet needed a break from all the moving.
Right now, I was sitting on the floor, holding a three-month-old girl in my arms. Her parents were Beta warriors, and they’d asked me to look after their baby while they trained. I agreed immediately. Taking care of her felt like great practice for the future, and I couldn’t help but feel excitement at the thought of having children of my own someday.
“Hey, you want to round up the pups and Omegas in here so they can eat?” Astrid called, stirring a massive pot of macaroni and cheese. Her voice was warm, familiar, and it made the mundane tasks of the day feel a little brighter.
I gently placed the baby in the crib-something Kaidon had built for us just the day before. He’d surprised me with it, and it lightened the tension in the air. I could feel my wolf’s presence close, lingering there just under the surface, but it still stung knowing he stayed quiet, not speaking to me like he once did.
It wasn’t the same as before. But I couldn’t dwell on that. Not when Kaidon had never gone a single day without his wolf, and he had a pack to lead. He had to stay strong. Even when he didn’t feel capable, he still stepped up, leading the training sessions in Zarek’s absence. I couldn’t help but admire his resilience.
I rounded up the pups and the Omegas, then knocked hesitantly on Sage and Kane’s door. Neither of them were allowed to join the others in training; Kaidon had made it clear that he couldn’t bear to look at them right now, let alone train beside them. I understood that. I was still angry and hurt by what they had done to me.
I hadn’t spoken to Sage or Kane since they returned. I would bring them meals or pass on messages from Kaidon, but that was it. I didn’t have it in me to sit down and have a conversation with them like we used to. Not yet.
“Lunch is ready,” I called, keeping my tone neutral, shutting the door behind me as I left without waiting for a response.
Every time I saw Sage or Kane, all I could remember was Sage’s broken expression when he told me I could never have children. Kaidon and I had always talked about having a big family, something we both dreamed of. But now, that was taken from me. That choice, that dream, was no longer mine to make.
I pushed those thoughts aside, refusing to let them take over. I couldn’t afford to. Especially not with everything else weighing on me. Lyra, too-she was gone. But I wasn’t going to let myself linger on the past. I couldn’t. It was rude to think ill of the dead anyway. Kaidon had said that she’d been ripped apart by rogues, a sign of just how furious Ryker had been that she helped me escape.
“Zarek!” A squeaky voice interrupted my thoughts. I turned to see Andre tugging on my hand, his eyes wide with excitement. “I need to ask you something, but it’s a secret!”
I laughed softly and knelt down to his level. “What’s the secret, pup?” I whispered into his ear, watching as he giggled with delight.
“I wanna know if you have more secret candy spots!” Andre said, his eyes darting over to the cabinet where I’d hidden the candy before. “Leo and I have been good, and Mommy Lyra’s bakery is closed, so we deserve candy!”
I smirked, ruffling his hair. “Well, that candy belongs to Alpha Kaidon, and he’s had quite the sweet tooth lately,” I whispered conspiratorially. “I think he took it all for himself like the big, bad Alpha he is.”
Andre growled, but Leo just looked confused. “That’s not fair!” he said, his face scrunched up in a pout.
Astrid appeared behind us, lifting Andre up and shaking her head. “Leave Luna Zarek alone,” she said, her voice playful. “He’s probably starving, and you’re distracting him.”
Andre stuck his tongue out but didn’t argue when Astrid set him down at the table. “Leo, come sit next to me!”
Leo yawned, clearly exhausted despite it still being early in the day. I couldn’t figure out why he was so tired, but I didn’t say anything. It didn’t really matter.
I scooped Andre up and set him next to Leo before sitting down myself. “We might not have any candy, but if you two eat all your lunch, I can teach you how to make cookies,” I said with a smile.
Andre grinned at the idea, but Leo just yawned again, clearly too tired to care. “Why are you so tired, Leo?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Leo shrugged, his voice small. “Mommy Akiri said we have to be careful and stay safe right now, so I stayed up all night to watch and make sure no one tried to take Andre…,” he mumbled, spooning macaroni into his mouth.
My heart melted at how sweet he was. I smiled at him, ruffling his hair. “Alright then, after lunch, you’re taking a nap, and Andre and I will make cookies. You can taste test them after your nap, okay?”
Leo nodded, too tired to argue. He finished his lunch, then staggered off toward the room, looking like a drunk pup.
“Leo likes snickerdoodle cookies,” Andre said, looking over at his brother. “We should make those.”
“Great idea,” I said, standing up and taking their empty bowls to the sink. “Go grab the flour and sugar from the pantry, buddy.”
Andre immediately ran off to do as I asked, and I couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t a difficult recipe, but I wanted to make sure Andre felt like he contributed. Once the first batch was baking, I told Andre to go lay down with Leo since he looked exhausted.
“Who knew cookie-making could be so exhausting?” I muttered under my breath, turning around at the sound of someone’s voice.
I froze when I saw Kane leaning against the wall. I could feel the anger rising within me, but I forced it down. I clutched my stomach to keep steady, but I knew the moment he opened his mouth, it was going to be a conversation I didn’t want to have.
“Can I help you?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even.
Kane walked over, leaning on the island in the kitchen as I busied myself with the dishes. “Actually, yes,” he said, his voice low. “I need to talk to you.”
I didn’t want to hear it. I really didn’t. But I couldn’t stop him from speaking, either. “Well, as Luna of this pack, I’m supposed to listen, right?” I snapped. “But honestly? I don’t want you to confide in me. I really don’t want to be in the same room as you.”
Kane seemed to shrink at my words, looking down at the fork in his hand. “I know you’re upset….”
“No,” I cut him off, unable to hold back anymore. “You don’t know. You have no idea how it feels to have your choices ripped away from you. I went to that pack to gather intel. I knew what we were up against. I knew they’d come after us. But you took that choice from me. You stole it. And now I can’t even make a decision about having pups without thinking about what you did to me!” I shouted, my voice rising. “I didn’t get to choose whether or not I could have kids. Not you, not Sage, not Kaidon, not Lyra! It’s my choice, and you took that from me!”
Kane lowered his head, tears welling in his eyes. He deserved it.
“We thought it was best,” he said, barely above a whisper.
I slammed my hand on the table, fury boiling over. “Notice how I wasn’t consulted on this? Notice how I had no say in any of it?”
Kane looked utterly defeated. “I know. Please, just… Please, hold it against me. Not Sage. He didn’t want to do it. He knew it was wrong, but I convinced him. I told him we had to do it. He tried to stop me… He said it wasn’t our choice. But I couldn’t hear it.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “So what now, huh? You want me to forgive you for this?” My voice cracked. “You want me to just forget everything?”
Kane’s face crumpled, but he nodded. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But please… I couldn’t lose Sage. I just wanted to hurt Ryker. I was selfish. I was wrong. So wrong. I understand if you want to punish me, or even exile me. But please… don’t punish Sage. He tried to stop it.”
I took a long breath, the anger inside me starting to subside. “Get the hell out of here,” I said coldly, pointing to the stairs. “I’m not going to punish you. I won’t exile you. That’ll only hurt Sage more, and I think you’ve hurt him enough.”
Kane lowered his head, slinking away, his shame evident in every step.