“I’m not going to explain why I can’t marry my lover, but I will explain the rest. My father, for reasons known only to him, wrote his will in such a way that if I am not married by the time I reach thirty my trust funds, there are three of them, will revert to various charities and foundations. I will be thirty in seven months. I can not marry the man I love, but I am totally unwilling to let my money go to some group that wants to save whales, hug trees or secure habitat for some goddamned mouse. So, I need a husband, but it has to be a special kind of husband. He has to understand that he is a husband in name only and that sex in the marriage will be minimal and almost totally one sided. He will be verbally abused and humiliated and he will have to put up with it for five years before he can get a divorce and a some point in that five year period he will need to father a child. Does that sound like something that you might be interested in Jack?”
“Uh, no, not really.”
“Well then, let me tell you the rest of it. Two point five million dollars deposited in a Cayman Islands bank account, which will make it tax-free. You will not be able to access it until the five years is up. You will live with me and I’ll pay all the bills, furnish the cars, the country club memberships and anything else you will require, need or want and you will get an annual spending allowance of ten thousand a month. In return you have to promise to be a faithful husband for five years and put up with whatever indignities I send your way. Sound a little better now?”
“Some, but there are major concerns.”
“What are they?”
“Minimal sex and I’m to remain totally faithful. No, not at my age and definitely not for five years.”
“If I can do something about the sex part how does the rest sound?”
“What I would get sounds fine, but my concerns are the other things you mentioned; the indignities, the verbal abuse and the humiliation. I need to know more, much, much more about those things.”
“There would be no physical abuse Jack, but there will be a lot of verbal abuse, most intended to humiliate you. It will be all mental Jack and it shouldn’t bother you because you will know it is coming and you will also know that it is all bullshit because of your status. You won’t be the cuckolded husband, just a play actor.”
“I still want to know what I’m getting into.”
Gloria looked at me and I saw that she was thinking of how to say the absolute least and still win me over so I said, “Okay, how about this. I’ll agree in principal to do it, but only after full disclosure and to insure full disclosure I’ll want an agreement in writing releasing me from the five year obligation to get the offshore money if you have not disclosed every thing. I also want the written agreement to release the money to me if the marriage does not go the full five years through no fault of mine.”
She looked at me for almost a full minute with her piercing blue eyes and then she said, “Deal” and extended her hand to me and we shook on it.”
It turned out to be something simple, but kinky. Her lover was a black man named Jumal Washington and for reasons she would not go into she could not marry him or let her relationship with him see the light of day. Her fathers will stipulated marriage by thirty, the marriage to last a least five years and a grandchild by the age of thirty-five. While married to her I would have to put up with Jumal and he was, quite frankly, an obnoxious asshole. Her few close friends who knew about Jumal could not stand him and they were constantly asking Gloria what she saw in him.
“Love is blind Jack. I know he is an asshole sometimes, but I still adore him even though I know it. It doesn’t matter what he does Jack; I’ll find excuses for him. You know about that don’t you Jack? You’ve been there and done that with Shelly so you know what it is like.”
“How did you know about Shelly?”
“I know everything about you Jack. I’ve had private detectives all over you since I chose you to be my husband. I try not to take chances Jack. I knew of the bond between you and my father and I gambled that it might work in my favor, but there is 31 million at stake here Jack so I made it my business to know everything about you that there was to know. Just out of curiosity, how long did you know about Shelly before you ended it?”
“Two years, eleven months, one week, three days, two hours and fifteen minutes.”
“You let it go on that long?”
“You said it yourself; love is blind and you find excuses. I’d still be finding excuses if I hadn’t walked in on them. Even then it was only because of who it was that I tossed her out. A lover I might have been able to handle, but her father and her brother and both of them at the same time? I just couldn’t handle it.”
“So, will you do it?”
“Full disclosure Gloria. There is still that little matter of sex that has to be talked about. I especially want to hear about the minimal and totally one sided part.”
“Oh that.”
“Yes, that.”
“I love Jumal and I intend to stay faithful to him, at least after a fashion. You and I will have sex one time after the ceremony to legally consummate the marriage and then we won’t have sex again until it is time to make the baby. That said, I have a certain need that Jumal absolutely refuses to meet. He is willing to let you do it to me and not consider it cheating, but only under certain circumstances.”
“What is it and what are those certain circumstances?”
“Do we have to go into it now Jack?”
“Full disclosure Gloria. I am going to have to know sooner or later and anything that you don’t want to talk about makes me nervous.”
“I love to have my pussy eaten Jack, but Jumal absolutely refuses to do it. He says that it is beneath him to do such a thing. He will let me have you do it to me and not consider it cheating, but only after he has made love to me first. And there will be times he will want to watch.”
“You can’t be serious!”
“I am Jack, dead serious. Think of it Jack, one hundred and twenty thousand a year for five years as spending money and a 2 point five million dollar pot of gold at the end of a five year rainbow. You’ve done before Jack. You know that you have gone down on Shelly after she had been screwed and it hasn’t killed you and you didn’t have a pot of gold waiting for you after you did it. I’ll make sure that you have a sex life Jack, it just won’t be with me. So, will you do it?’
It was pretty much a no brainer. Five years of bullshit in exchange for almost three million dollars. Hell, I’d be thirty-six years old and set for life to say nothing of the life of luxury I’d live for five years. All I had to do was put up with some bullshit three or four times a week from some obnoxious asshole. I should be able to do that standing on my head.