Hope
How was I going to get out of this problem of mine? The four Lycans were staring at me, waiting for a reasonable explanation as to why I visited a witch secretly. But if they didn’t want me to visit her, why wasn’t I banned from that area? No one told me it was restricted. I think I should use my lack of knowledge to my advantage.
I cleared my throat awkwardly. “I didn’t know that I was not supposed to go there.” I said, using a meek voice.
My husband was the first person to react as he pushed his chair back and basically flew to my side. He grabbed my right forearm and drew me out from my chair to stand head-to-head with him. I had never seen his eyes so dark before. His veins were twitching, depicting his anger clearly.
“I know that is not the explanation you’re going to go with.” He gritted out in a tone that made me believe he was trying to control his anger.
Before I knew it, my eyes turned glassy and I started to tremble. “No one here cares about me. Why is it only now that I have found something that makes me happy you people are concerned and want to take it away from me? No one told me that I wasn’t supposed to go there. I like the books, and Amara is nice to me.
“Nicer than any of you have ever been to me. She doesn’t invite me for dinners only to ignore me and make me feel stupid. She doesn’t insult me any chance she gets. She’s the only person in this entire castle that cares about me. You all are-argh!” I screamed at the end of my sentence because King Darius grabbed my chin harshly to keep me firmly in place.
“Shut your mouth.” He said.
The tears that glistened my eyes started to cascade down my chin, and my vision blurred.
“Just let me go.” I resigned in a tired voice.
He held me tighter and forced me to look into his dark eyes. There was no shred of emotion except for hatred and anger. That was all he was ever going to feel for me. Nothing was going to make him stop hating me. Just the way nothing was ever going to make me comfortable and happy in this place.
Once he realized that I was going to say anything else, he let go of my chin and my arm to take a step back. He crossed both of his hands behind his back and glared at me.
“You will not be going to visit the witch anymore, nor will you be going to the library. You will not leave your room until I say you should. I’m putting you on a temporary lockdown so you can reflect on your careless actions.” He spoke in a dignified tone.
I was so angry. I have never been this angry in my entire life. I wanted to defy him and say that I won’t bend to his commands but I couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried, the words refused to form from my mouth.
“Of course,” I hung my head low, exhaling heavily.
Darius hummed in response, then trotted back to his seat, leaving me standing alone, feeling annoyed and stupid. After a few seconds, his voice came up again. “Didn’t you hear what I said? You are on a temporary lockdown. Resign to your room right away!” he boomed, causing me to flinch a little.
I sucked in a deep breath, then raised my head higher. As I did, I caught the gaze of Annalise who was holding onto one of my husband’s arms like she needed it to survive. A new wave of anger hit me as I stared at her.
She did this. I trusted her, and the first opportunity she got, she ratted out on me. I thought she was a neutral person who was only here because of Darius but it seems like she wants me out too. I was stupid to believe her in the first place.
I humphed, then trudged back to my room. The maids on the hallway made sure to gossip about me as I passed, not sparing me from their harsh words about how disrespectful and rebellious I was to do such a thing. I ignored them as I usually did. Once I got into my room, I slammed the door shut and locked it from the inside.
The first thing I did was let my tears flow freely. I cried and cried until I no longer had any tears left to cry again. Once I was done with that, I took a long bath that I prepared myself, then went to sleep.
The next day, no one was sent to call me for a dinner I was summoned to. But at least, I was brought food. It might not have been as grand as the ones I shared with Darius but it was something. After I was finished eating, I decided to continue reading India’s diary that I had left untouched for a while.
Contrary to the beliefs that Augustus was a cruel and wicked king, he was kind and innocent. I saw how the councilmen used him when I was forcefully invited to the meetings. Augustus was a fool. But I feel like I’m the bigger one for not doing anything.
I have been staying here for almost three weeks and he hasn’t even come to visit my chambers. Is he not eager for an heir? Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that man’s head. He seems aloof one second, then thoughtful in another.
One thing I know for sure is that I do not like him.
I related to this woman more than I thought I would. She seemed to understand and put into words all the things I wanted to. It was like we were experiencing the same thing. I decided to drop the diary for a while and take a nap. But as I resigned to my bed, I heard a knock on my door.
Begrudgingly, I stood up from the bed and advanced to the door. I opened it slowly to reveal a beaming Annalise. She didn’t even wait for me to invite her in before she pushed past me and strolled inside my room like she owned the place. She used her cat-like eyes to scan the entire place to check if it was up to her taste.
Seeming that it was not, she clicked her tongue and turned to face me with her hands on her hips. Annalise always wore the most luxurious and revealing outfits, unlike me who was only allowed to wear long tunics all day and every day. She smiled at me warmly, like we were long term friends.
I hoped the frown on my face told her that I didn’t think the same thing as she did. As she got the message, she resigned to a sympathetic look. “My dearest Hope, I understand how you feel right now. You must think that I have betrayed you. But believe me, it was not at all my intention.”
I simmered with hot anger as she continued to speak. With my fist clenched at each side, I watched her pull an innocent act in front of me.
“Commander threatened me to tell the truth. She had met me while I was leaving you and she told me that if I didn’t confess the truth to Darius that she would hurt me. I’m sorry for breaking your promise. I was selfish. If you want you can hit me. I won’t get angry at you, I promise,” she said, then advanced to grab my hands so that I could hurt her.
Before she could do such, I retracted my hands from her grip and took three steps backward. “It’s fine. I don’t want to hit you.” I choked out.
“Really?” Her eyes twinkled in excitement. “Are you still angry at me? Please forgive me. I won’t ever betray your trust.” She begged with a sincere tone.
I watched her warily. If what she was saying was accurate, then Commander should be the one that I was angry at. How could she do such a thing? I had thought that we had drawn up a truce these last few days but it turns out that we hadn’t. I wondered what she gained by having Annalise rat me out.
“It’s alright. I’ve already forgotten about all of that. It’s in the past now.” I reassured Annalise and as I did, I saw a flicker of an emotion that I couldn’t decipher before she smiled brightly and rushed to engulf me in a tight hug.
“Thank you so much, Hope. I knew that you were a good person!” she chirped before she let go of me and took a step backward.
“I’ll be going now. I want you to know that I’m always on your side,” was the last thing she said before she walked out of the room.
It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders in her absence. It was hard to tell if she was being sincere about her apology or if she wasn’t. Either way, I was not going to entrust her with any of my secrets. Especially not India’s diary.
With it, I would be able to be like her and learn how to do all the things that she did. That was the one thing I looked forward to.