Katalina
“So?”
The moment I entered my bedroom, I found Emilia seated and waiting patiently on my bed.
Caught off guard, I instantly went pale and my jaws almost dropped on the floor.
“What are you doing here? I asked in trepidation. My heart was beating so fast that the thudding was as loud as the crashing of a waterfall.
“Waiting for you, obviously.” She rolled her eyes. “What did she say?”
“She doesn’t want to talk about him.” I scoffed in disappointment, and relief.
I walked into the room and sat down beside her. Since last night, this was the first time we would be speaking to each other. I instantly felt relieved the moment she asked about Grandma instead of what happened the previous day at lunch. It was as if the tension I had was imagined.
“What are you going to do now?” she continued.
‘I don’t know.” I shrugged.
‘Our flight is in the evening. You should try again tomorrow.” She encouraged.
Nodding, I muttered “Sure,”
“About yesterday…”
Chills…
My body went stiff and I could feel myself whitening. I should have known. She was here to sneak in on me.
“Can we not talk about it? I…”
“I know you are embarrassed, Kata. I just want to say it’s okay. It’s not a big deal. We don’t have to be awkward because of it.”
“…”
“Really? You don’t mind?” I asked with widened eyes. I was shocked that there was no sigh of judgement from her.
“it’s not like it’s your fault. He forced you to be like that. Why should I blame you for something you can’t control?” she spread her hands with a quizzical gaze.
Aaah, that’s true.
All this time, I have been telling her of how terrible Huracio is to me. So logically, she really shouldn’t be surprised by his perversion, or suspect me of loving him. I have been dreading this talk because I was guilty of lying either directly or indirectly.
I gave myself a mental head knock, then broke into a smile.
“Exactly. I didn’t know he invited you to lunch. If I had known, I wouldn’t have worn it.”
“Well, how does it feel?” she whispered curiously.
“How it feels? You…”
“I watched some porn last night. It seems awesome. The girls liked it. Do you like it?” she looked at me expectantly.
I kept blinking until my brain registered her words properly.
“You are asking if I enjoyed getting punished with a vibrator?” I gasped, my ears turning red.
“Well, the girls in the videos online liked it. I am thinking of buying one too l.”
“You want to buy a vibrator? Are you serious?”
I really shouldn’t be surprised. We always discuss such things. But if I should tell her that I enjoyed it, what would she think of me? Am I supposed to enjoy anything Huracio does to me since I am supposed to hate him?
And she is going to buy a fucking Vibrator?
“Well,” I cleared my throat, trying to come up with something. “It’s usually good at first, but it becomes painful if the speed is too much. Like what happened yesterday.”
“Does he make you do it often?”
Hahaha, Emmy, you don’t want to know. I screamed in my head, recalling the things Huracio has done to me since we got married.
I felt my face turning red There is simply no way I am telling her those things. Nervously tucking my hair behind my ears, I stood up and walked towards the bathroom. “I am too tried, Emmy. It’s been a long day.”
“So, he does it a lot.” She stated as a matter of facts. “When were you going to tell me?” she suddenly appeared in front of me sealing off my path to the bathroom. Her face was contorted in anger.
Fuck. Not this again!
“I didn’t think you would want to know.” I took a step back. I felt so guilty and couldn’t meet her gaze.
“I tell you everything I do with my boyfriend, but you wouldn’t even tell me about losing your virginity, and now this?”
It was night and she was almost shouting. Worriedly, I glared at her. “Don’t shout. Grandma is still awake.”
“You promised not to hide anything from me again. You lied!”
“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t say anything!” I retorted, feeling exasperated.
“it’s the same. When I have sex, I tell you everything, but you tell me nothing. How is that not lying?”
“…”
I had no words.
She had sex twice and now she was comparing it to my life with Huracio. Where is the comparison? Will she even believe me if I told her the things I have done…?
She stood up and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” I snapped in panic. If Emilia should step out of the room, things might get worse between us. She is all I have. If I lose her too, what will happen to me? I can’t bear the thought.
I remembered Huracio’s words…No. I didn’t remember. It was in my head all day. I just tried to ignore it.
Emilia wanted to know the truth, Huracio wanted me to tell her the truth, but this could backfire…
“I am in love with him.” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
“You are what?” she nearly screamed.
“See. This is why I didn’t want to tell you anything.”
“That’s Huracio! Your Mum’s Fiance!”
“You think I don’t know that?” I asked in a shaky voice. The humiliation, shame, and guilt I feel about my feelings washed over me as I watched Emilia’s expressions undergo constant changes. Tears gathered in my eyes and a sob bubbled in my throat. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you anything. I knew you wouldn’t approve. But he is my husband now. He is always going to be my husband. And he is good to me. How am I supposed to keep hating him?”
“I…I… excuse me.” She muttered, turned around, and left the room.
“…”
The silence that followed was heavy. It was like mountains crashed on my shoulders. My legs grew weak and I found myself crumbling from the inside out. As I fell, a wretched sob escaped and my body started shivering.
“It is over. It is over!” I kept muttering through the sobs.
Emilia’s father had cheated on her mother with his sister-in-law. When Emilia’s mother found out, she confronted her sister and a fight broke out. Emilia’s mother accidentally died in that scuffle, and her aunt is still in prison for involuntarily manslaughter.
I have watched her express her disgust for cheating partners and women who one who goes after other people’s husbands. That was why I knew that she mustn’t know about my feelings for Huracio. That was why I kept telling her that I hated him and that he was a horrible person.