“I’m not stupid and neither are you. We both know what he was after – he wanted to get between her legs – and she knew that too. But how to keep getting rides without giving up what he was after? She had to lead him on a little at a time, give him a little something to keep him coming around until she had enough money saved up to buy her a car. So she necked with him and I wouldn’t be a bit surprised to find out that she didn’t slap him when he tried to cop a feel, but he was never going to hit pay dirt. He didn’t know it, but he never had a chance in hell of getting into her pants. Helen’s heart, body and soul belonged to you.
“I can’t even count the number of times we sat on my bed and talked the night away and it was mostly about you and how wonderful you were and how God must really love her to have sent her to you. She really believes that. She is certain that God sent her to Detroit and to that restaurant looking for a job for the specific purpose of getting the two of you together. I hate laying the burden on you, but you destroyed that girl.”
“If her necking session was so innocent or if it was like you said why didn’t she tell me?”
“You would have listened? She knew it was a lost cause when you threw the hotel at her at the same time you threw the necking at her. Helen has a lot of pride and it will not let her beg, or plead for forgiveness. She has survivor’s traits – she is strong willed and she will face what gets thrown at her, learn from it and move on. She will eventually get over you, but it will take a long, long time and leave a lot of scars.”
She finished her drink and got up.
“That’s it? You just wanted to ask a couple of questions?”
“What did you expect, that I was here to plead her case? Sorry, I learned a long time ago not to get involved in other people’s problems. I just wanted to know how something so good could go totally to shit in such a short time. You let the best thing that ever happened to you get away and I just hope for your sake that the rest of your life isn’t going to be as fucked up.”
After Rocs was gone I sat in the bar and drank several more beers and thought about what she’d said, what Helen had done, what I had done and mostly what my thoughts about her had been. By the time last call came around I had boiled it all down to three things: -Could I crawl back to her -Would she take me back and -What was my mother going to say
Mom was waiting up for me when I got home.
“Where have you been? I’ve been keeping something warm for you.”
“Stopped for a beer or two after work.”
“Well come on baby, I need to get up early to go to work.”
“You go ahead and go on to bed mom. I’m not ready and I’ve got some things on my mind that I have to work through.”
“You turning me down mister? After I’ve waited up for you? I don’t think so. When we are done and I am sleeping you can lie there in bed and work through whatever for as long as you want.”
“Has anyone lately told you that you are an insatiable slut?”
“No, and you shouldn’t talk to me like that; after all, I am your mother. Now come along” and she took my hand and pulled me along behind her to the bedroom. For someone who wanted to get some sleep before getting up to go to work she sure wasn’t in any hurry to quit. Three times, with a blow job between each of the first two and she still wanted me to get up again. I pushed her away and told her to get some rest.
“I don’t want you so tired that you spill hot coffee in some poor guys lap.”
She grumbled, but she got out of my bed and went to her bedroom.
Mom had gotten in the habit of waking me up in the morning with a blow job, but I was still awake and staring at the ceiling when she came into my room.
“Haven’t you been to sleep?”
“No, no I haven’t.”
“Just what is this weighty problem that has you so concerned?”
“You won’t like it.”
“But from the way you just said that I gather that it is something I’m going to eventually have to know so out with it.”
I told her about the visit from Helen’s aunt, my talk with Rocs and about all the thoughts I’d been having. She just looked at me without saying a word until I was finished.
“Well baby, I won’t say that I like it or that I’m happy about it, but I can understand it. Little things like those you mentioned are just like the feelings I have for your father. I had hoped that I could screw the memory of Helen out of you, but I guess that I didn’t.”
“Oh be honest mom. You just used Helen as an excuse. I saw the way you looked at those two guys who watched us. More than anything you wanted them in the car and if I hadn’t been there it probably would have happened. You are hitting your sexual peak and dad is never home. I’m betting you were on the very edge of starting to go out looking when the Helen thing came along and gave you an excuse. ‘What better way to get what I need with someone from someone who absolutely has to keep his mouth shut about it.” Am I right?”
“Can’t put nothing over on you, can I?”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, I honestly don’t know.”
“I’m going to have to go out and hit the bars after all huh?”
“No way. Give up my insatiable slut? Not a chance, at least not until I’m married.”
“Hey baby, I won’t hold that against you. They say that married men make the best lovers. How about showing me what you got before I have to go to work.”