“WHERE ARE WE GOING?” I glance out the window. Moonlight spills silver pools on the highway. Trees bracket the road. Sharp branches reach out like ghosts luring travelers to their deaths.
“I told you. It’s a surprise.” Jerrison looks especially handsome tonight.
Especially when he grins like a kid waiting for Christmas morning.
I rest my elbows on the center console and stare up at him. “What could be out here except the woods and coyotes?”
“You’re going to find out,” he answers with that secret grin.
My eyes narrow suspiciously. “Is this a kidnapping? Are you secretly a serial killer and I’m your last victim?”
“If I said I was?” His lips twitch.
“Then I’d hit you across the head with my purse, jump out of the truck and take my chances with the coyotes.”
Jerrison’s laughter fills the car.
I can’t resist the grin that rises to meet his.
The camaraderie between us is becoming normal to me.
In the past, whenever my husband entered the room, a nerve would start tightening in my head. It wasn’t quite a migraine but definitely the beginning of one.
Right now, he’s the medicine to my headache. Whenever I see him, my stress level goes all the way down.
I’ve gotten used to venting to him after a long day. He listens intently. The phone remains face-down on the coffee table. His eyes stay on mine even when a gorgeous waitress tries to get his attention.
Now that I’m enjoying my husband’s company, it’s easy to see how twisted our marriage was. If I can even call what we had a marriage.
It was more like a war zone. A nuclear blood bath. A hellish apocalypse. “We’re almost there.” He takes my hand.
Warmth hits my chest first before spreading to the rest of my body. Our eyes meet.
A silent message of attraction zips between us.
I glance away first, forcing myself to keep to Doc’s instructions. I’m supposed to be watching my husband’s every move. Taking note of his effort and interest in me. Making sure that he deserves this second chance- not because my heart keeps fluttering around him but because he’s shown me that he’s matured.
Jerrison squeezes my hand once and flicks the indicator.
I notice a stunning log cabin up ahead. Bright lights shine from the inside, sending golden rays out to a beautiful front lawn. It’s gorgeous in a rugged way. Outdoor luxury. Weathered decadence.
I’m impressed.
“What do you think?” Jerrison asks.
“This place is stunning.” My eyes keep jumping from the pruned bushes to the wooden porch swing to the cobbled path leading around the side of the cabin.
“You’re stunning,” Jerrison murmurs close to my ear. I turn to him.
He’s standing so close that our noses brush and every thought flees from my mind. Jerrison smirks as if he knows how handsome he is.
Straightening to his full height, he places a hand on my back. “This way.”
There’s a tug in my stomach that I stubbornly ignore when his fingers brush against my side.
We round the bend. My eyes are dazzled by a giant bonfire chewing away at fragrant logs. Orange, red and gold flames dance into the black sky.
“Wow,” I murmur.
Then my eyes slide away and I find there are more beautiful things to look at. A candle-lit dinner sprawls before me. White chairs. White tablecloth. Champagne bottle chilling in ice.
“Sit here.” Jerrison takes my chair out for me. His hand lands on my shoulder for a moment before he pulls it back.
“This is incredible, Jerrison.” My voice is a whispered croak because ‘incredible’ does not do it justice.
Nature is here to show off tonight. Stars dot the sky. Free from the obstruction of skyscrapers and smoke, they burst with magnificence and scatter all over the horizon. A gentle breeze coaxes the fire to sway. Flower petals are scattered all around us. It’s almost too precious to speak.
“I’m glad you like it.” Shyness flickers across his handsome face. He’s all sharp edges. All angles and cheekbones. Yet, when his smile hits me, there’s a touch of vulnerability that makes my bones melt.
“I do.” I touch his hand because I can’t resist. “I love it.”
“The food here is amazing. The chef is a friend. He’ll bring out the meals in a minute.” Jerrison licks his lips. His Adam’s apple bobs and I’m suddenly nervous on his behalf. “There’s something I want to do first, Harriet.”
I lean forward. “What is it?”
He sets his cell phone on the table. To my surprise, he pulls out a second phone.
Jerrison points to a shiny black phone that looks so expensive, it wouldn’t surprise me if it hadn’t been released to the public yet. “I bought this today.”
“Okay…” My head tilts to the side. “Is it for me?”
His blue eyes soften. “No, baby. But if you want a new phone, I’ll buy it for you.”
I laugh. “No, I love my phone. Sorry. I’m jumping ahead. Continue.” “That’s my old phone.” He points to the other cell. “I want you to call
the number.”
“You’re being weird.” I narrow my eyes at him. “Go ahead.”
I call his phone and watch the screen light up.
Jerrison picks up the phone while it’s still ringing and walks to the bonfire.
I launch out of my seat. “Jerrison, no!”
He hurls it into the flames. The bonfire chews at his old phone like a monster, burning it until it loses its form. Ravenous, the flames lick at the melted plastic.
“What are you doing?” I clutch the back of my chair, horror in my tone.
Has my husband truly gone crazy?
Jerrison’s eyes meet mine. The bonfire glints against an expression of cold determination.
I recoil instinctively.
“I’m not perfect.” His gaze remains steady on me. “Sometimes I fight my trainer. Sometimes I fight with myself. Some days are easier than others and there are times I want to choose what feels good instead of fighting to get back into the ring.”
My hand rises to my throat. “What… does that have to do with the cell phone?”
“That phone is my old behavior. It’s my past that was filled with lies.” He steps toward me, looking big and imposing in the shadows. “Tonight is in memory of me being a jerk. Being insensitive. Destroying the best part of us.” He stops directly in front of me. The heat emanating from his body chases the cold wind. “I tossed that phone because I don’t need it anymore. I found where my real treasure is. And that treasure is the only one who’s allowed to have access to me.”
Understanding dawns.
My eyes drop to the cell phone in the heart of the blaze. All the girls had that number.
His girlfriends.
Other women.
“I love you.” Blue eyes burn as hot as the flames. “And I’m sorry for all the years I didn’t show you that. But from here on out, I choose you. And I want only you. Only you, Harriet.”
The words twist and fold, burrowing into the parts of me I hadn’t known was waiting for acknowledgment. In the chaos of my conflicting emotions, I remember what Doc told me during a session.
‘One of the signs of proper change is when you don’t ask for it, but he comes and offers an apology for his behavior. It shows that he is aware of the damage that he caused.’
Jerrison caresses my cheek with his thumb as his expression turns a little sheepish. “You hungry?”
“After watching you burn a cell phone that costs hundreds of dollars?” I laugh through my tears. “I could eat.”
He grins. “I could have sold it. Or even given it away. But I wanted you to know that I’m serious, Harriet.” His eyes get intense again. “It’s
important that you understand how much you mean to me. I love you more than anyone or anything else in this world.”
I fall into his eyes and find that I’m drowning. My arms slide around his waist.
It’s not enough.
I need to be closer.
Doc is there again in my head. ‘An apology is not the end, so don’t treat it like an end but the beginning of raised expectations.’
Jerrison hugs me and, suddenly, I can’t hear Doc anymore. I can only hear the pounding of my heart. It’s racing. It’s gunning at my ribs.
We ease away from each other slowly. Jerrison looks down at me again, eyes burning in the flickering bonfire. A hot gaze that launches a fiery path from my forehead to my lips.
My hands slide to his jaw and scrape against the bristles of a five o’clock shadow.
Tingles chase my spine.
I imagine his beard scraping against my fingertips, my arms, and against my upper thigh.
An ache starts between my legs.
“Baby, don’t look at me like that.” His voice is a warning. A threat. “I won’t be able to control myself.”
Underneath the stars, he is truly magnificent. Brawny arms. Eyes like the sky. Lips that make such sweet promises.
I can’t see his heart. But I can feel it. Just like I can feel his hands in mine. These hands have driven me to and from work. They brought me breakfast and made me smile. They held me when I slept and soothed my back. They fixed my mother’s rocking chair and repaired my pipe. They lifted a sign in the rain, declaring his love for me to the world. They threw a cell phone into burning flames rather than traded it in for money, just to show me that I mean more.
Doc gave me a measuring stick to use as a guide and I’ve observed enough change in Jerrison to open my heart.
He’s not the same man he was before. The old Jerrison would have thrown me into the flames before he threw his cell phone. The old Jerrison never would have apologized. He’d continue to insist I was crazy and that he’d done nothing wrong. The old Jerrison would never humble himself to
the point of chasing me after I constantly rejected him. He’d never acknowledge his imperfections or confess he has more room to grow.
I’ve seen enough to convince me. To make me impatient.
I tighten my arms around my husband and rise on my tiptoes.
There’s only the music from the crickets, the heat from the fire, and the scent of the moon. There’s only the brilliant night sky, unraveling overhead like a dark blanket with silver threads.
“Kiss me,” I whisper.
His eyes widen and he goes still. I sense his hesitation.
He won’t cross this line. He doesn’t want me thinking it’s why he apologized.
I know.
That’s why I push forward and bring my lips to his.