I WASN’T PREPARED to face my husband.
He stepped into the gym and sucked all the air out of it. I felt him before I saw him. Felt him from all the way across the room. A presence at my back. A gentle caress on my skin.
He looked at me with those brilliant blue eyes. Pieces of the sky trapped in sun-tipped irises. Oceans deep enough to suck you in. Drown you without warning.
I lost my breath. My mind.
My sanity.
I’m not made of stone. As much as I try to act like one, I’m no ice queen either. Beneath all the anger and pain beats a heart that still belongs to him. A heart that still longs for my husband.
And I’m not ashamed of that.
I came all this way because I love him.
I put up with his crap because I love him.
It’s why I ignored him at the gym. Why I ran away. Why I keep running.
It’s why I listen to every word Doc says. I didn’t scrub grimy floors and wash old cars because I want to divorce my husband.
He’s mine.
I have the papers to prove it.
But legal documents aren’t enough. A ring isn’t enough. I want commitment. Love. Fidelity.
I’m fighting for the man I fell in love with. All of Jerrison, not just the leftovers.
I’m greedy like that. And I deserve to be.
Yet, the very determination that started me down this path is threatening my progress.
It’s been two weeks since I’ve left. Fourteen days.
Enough time to make the happier memories crawl to the front of my mind. Flowers at the end of a long day. Brawny arms around me at night. Smiles that meet mine in careless pockets of sunshine.
I’m weaker now than when I started. That’s his fault.
He looked miserable today. His eyes kept following me.
Thinking about it makes my heart ache. I grab a pillow close and squeeze it to my chest. The urge to nurture and coddle him crawls over me. Isn’t that enough? Haven’t I taught him a lesson? Can I skip to the part where we kiss and make up?
Those thoughts clash against my mission to wait. I keep hearing Doc’s words. Go back to when you were dating. Watch him like a P. I. What he does now will tell you how much you mean to him.
I can’t find any loopholes.
I’m to treat Jerrison like a stranger, even if I still wear his ring. That’s it.
That’s everything.
I sigh into my sofa. None of Doc’s advice involved smiling like a fool at Jerrison.
Play it cool. I can do that.
I’ve been doing that. Today’s a prime example. A miracle. A game I nearly lost. Jerrison looked gorgeous in a rumpled grey hoodie, shorts, and sneakers. I wanted to run my fingers through his thick hair and stroke the stubble on his jaw.
My heart broke from missing him. It hurt to pretend I didn’t care. My eyes slid past him when they wanted to linger. My fingers gripped a towel instead of his face.
The connection between us was so strong I could barely stay still. Thank God he went to the bathroom. It gave me the opportunity to flee. I
ran like my life was in danger because it was. A smart woman knows when to retreat. Not all boxing matches are won by rushing into offense. Especially when the chances of winning are slim.
My phone rings, saving me from my crazy thoughts. It’s Pax.
“Hey.” I rub my eyes.
“You have any plans this weekend?” “I have-”
“Cancel them and come with me.”
“Girl, you’re talking, but you’re not making sense.” I’ve never heard Pax this excited. Concerned, I scoot to the edge of my chair. “Is something going on?”
“Yes. Something huge.”
“Okay…” I tilt my head, waiting for the full explanation.
“I just got off the phone with Hazel. She’s a friend from… well, she’s more like a close acquaintance. Hazel’s best friend is married to Dean Reece’s manager who is-”
My eyes light up. “Dean Reece?”
“Yes!” Pax sounds like she’s about to pop with excitement.
“I love his music!” I almost fall out of the chair. “You know Dean Reece personally?”
“It’s more like I know someone who knows his wife.” “Close enough,” I chirp.
“And you’ll never guess what else.”
I’m still trying to digest the first part. “What else?”
“Dean Reece’s wife and a couple other women are going on a girls’ trip to Belize. They have two extra spaces.”
My jaw drops.
“It’s very last minute so you’ll need to leave in half an hour. We’re riding first class. Everything is paid for.”
“Stop it.”
“Come on, girl! Let’s go!”
I hang up and toss the phone so far in the air it almost bashes through the ceiling. My brain is scrambling fast. I can barely catch a thought and hold on to it long enough to move effectively.
“Clothes,” I ramble, sprinting across the room to stuff items into a suitcase. “Passport. Shoot, where’s my passport?”
My brain decides to abandon me. I skitter from one room to the next like a headless chicken until Pax shows up at my door. By some miracle, I’ve got everything I need when I head down the stairs with her.
“Let me make the introductions,” Pax says, pointing to a group of the most beautiful black women I have ever seen in my life.
They glitter.
And I’m not talking about the giant diamonds hooked around their fingers.
I don’t need Pax to tell me I’m standing in front of modern-day royalty. Everything-from the way they talk to the way they move-screams luxury.
“This is Nataya.” Pax gestures to a gorgeous woman with mahogany- colored skin and almond-shaped eyes. She stands straight and tall, elegance dripping off her manicured fingernails.
“Call me Nat.” Nataya loses all her sophistication when she grabs me for a hug. “Thank you so much for joining us.”
“Thank you for inviting me.”
Pax nods to another woman. “This is Dean Reece’s wife, Jaz.” I grab Jaz’s hand and start pumping. “I’m such a fan.”
She smiles, flashing straight white teeth. I’ve seen her in magazines during my-ahem-Dean Reece fan girl days. Online forums were extremely critical of her dark skin, broad shoulders, and athletic build.
I defended her back then without even seeing her, but now I’m sure those people were just blinded by jealousy. Jaz is confident, sleek and absolutely stunning.
“The real celebrity is my husband.” Jaz’s smile makes me smile too. “And he’s at home watching the kids.”
I laugh, immediately charmed by her.
“This is Chloe.” She gestures to a slim woman with high cheekbones and dark eyes.
If someone told me Chloe was a long-lost African princess, I would believe them. She’s wearing a bright floral dress that hugs her body. When she steps forward to hug me, she’s the human equivalent of elegance. I hug her back and inhale an earthy scent that reminds me of the roses I grew back home.
“And you’ve met Hazel.” Pax hooks her hand around the other woman’s arm.
“My husband does business with her law firm.” I grin Hazel’s way. “I’m told it’s dangerous to go up against you in the courtroom.”
Hazel wiggles her fingers. “I see my reputation precedes me.”
My cheeks hurt from a smile that keeps growing and growing with no intentions to stop. There’s something about being surrounded by powerful women. The air tastes like excellence. Like dreams in motion. I feel proud just sliding into a limo with them.
“This is fancy,” Pax whispers to me as she accepts a glass of champagne.
“Says the CEO of a conglomerate,” Hazel teases. I bark out a laugh.
Nataya melts into her seat. “This is the life. I love my toddler, but I’m glad Stone suggested a girls’ day.”
“Your husband suggested this?” I can’t hide my shock.
“He’s also paying for the trip.” Jaz wrinkles her nose at Nataya. “Show off.”
“Dean is paying for our flights so call it even.” Nataya rolls her eyes.
A queasy feeling ties a knot in my stomach. “Are you sure you want to leave?”
Every eye swerves my way.
“What do you mean?” Pax asks gently.
“I mean,” I lick my lips, wondering if I should broach this, “are you comfortable leaving your husbands for a whole weekend?”
“You’re right. Stone might burn down the house trying to make our baby waffles.” Nataya grabs her phone. “Let me call him and tell him not to use the stove.”
Jaz snaps the phone from her hands. “Your husband left me strict instructions to pamper you. He says you’re an amazing mother and you deserve a break. That means no incoming calls and no outgoing calls either.”
Chloe’s sharp eyes fall on me, quietly assessing. I squirm beneath her gaze. “What?”
“Why should we worry about leaving our husbands for a weekend?” “It’s just,” I dig my fingers into the champagne glass, “if you’re not
watching him, he might…”
“Might what?” Jaz leans her head in.
I bite down on my bottom lip. We’re obviously not close enough to talk about cheating husbands and I don’t want to dull the mood. Nothing can break a woman more than hearing she’s not enough for the man she married.
“Forget it,” I mumble. Tipping the champagne back, I drain the glass.
Hazel places a soft hand on top of mine. “We can leave our husbands for a weekend because we trust them. We don’t need to feel insecure. They’ve proven through their actions that they would never do anything to hurt us.”
It’s such a foreign concept to me. I hated leaving for business trips because I knew my husband would go wild when I was gone. I called him constantly to see where he was. And I would never speak about him the way Hazel just talked about her husband.
Feeling sheepish, I tuck my hair behind my ear. “I guess it’s just my
husband then.”
“What’s going on with your husband?” Jaz arches an eyebrow.
Nataya frowns at Pax. “I thought you said her husband went to Doc?”
“How do you know that?” My eyes widen. Something’s not adding up here.
Pax squirms sheepishly. “That… was one of the reasons they had two extra spaces on the trip.”
“I knew this was too good to be true!” Stunned, I glance at each of the women. “You all went to see Doc?”
“Our husbands did.” Chloe corrects me.
“And he changed our lives.” Jaz sips her drink, her dark gaze sliding across each of us. “I’ve always been curious about the people Doc helped. When I heard Nataya wanted a girls’ day, I figured we could all meet.”
Hazel nods. “There aren’t many people who’ve heard the way Doc thinks about marriage and there are even less people with husbands who would listen.”
“He somehow got the truth through their thick skulls,” Jaz murmurs. “To Doc.” Nataya lifts her champagne.
The other ladies clank their glasses. Alcohol bubbles over.
Giggles follow.
I join their toast, but my mind is far away.
Do I have a husband who’d listen to Doc’s advice?
My heart drops to my toes because the answer ringing through my gut is… no.