She sighs. “The point is this: We could both have what we want in this marriage, if you can just expand your definition of what a marriage is.”
I roll my eyes, pulling my hands away. “Didn’t we try this already?” Years ago, at Melanie’s insistence, we’d tried swinging and I’d hated it.
“See what you’re doing? You’re closing your mind already. You don’t even know what I’m going to say!”
“Fine.”
She continues. “I miss our lifestyle. I love being the wife of big, strong, rich Xavier Rochat.” The description irks me-those three things are all I am to her. “But we could lead separate, independent lives. Free to see or fuck other people if we want.”
“But I don’t want that, Melanie. I’ve never wanted that.”
She leans in, a satisfied look on her face like she knows she’s about to score the winning goal. “But don’t you? With me as your wife, Xavi, it doesn’t look weird for Hazel to be living here. No one will raise an eyebrow. What you do behind closed doors, no one will know about. I’m the perfect beard for you.”
My blood turns to ice as fear pricks my skin. We’ve been careful…haven’t we? How could she suspect anything?
“What are you saying?” I ask warily, thinking there could still be a chance I’ve misunderstood something. She can’t possibly know about me and Hazel.
She smirks. “You know exactly what I’m saying. You think I don’t know what’s going on here?”
I take a breath. My heart is pounding so loudly in my ears it’s hard to hear anything else. “And just what do you think is going on?”
“I went down to the basement to see you last night, Xavi, but you weren’t there. You weren’t on the living room couch, you weren’t in your office. You think I can’t guess where you’re spending your nights?” She gets up from her stool, and walks up to me, trailing a teasing finger over my frozen chest. “I get it, you know,” she says in a low voice. “You never wanted to open up our relationship because I was the only one you wanted. But a younger version of me? It’s perfect for you, isn’t it?”
Despite the ice in my veins, my face heats up. I knew that if Melanie found out about Hazel and I she would use it to manipulate me, but never in my wildest dreams did I think she would be supportive of it in order to get what she wants. Even though I’m the one committing the heinous act of fooling around with her daughter, I’m offended beyond all reason.
“Don’t you even care?”
“For fuck’s sake, Xavier, she’s eighteen. You’re both consenting adults. You two can do whatever you like as far as I’m concerned. But eventually she’ll grow up, and you’ll realize she was still never me. And I’m saying I’m okay with that. I can be here, Xavi, when you’re done with her. We can have separate rooms, whatever you like, but as long as I stay Mrs. Melanie Rochat, you can have your cake and eat it, too.”
Her words horrify me. When I’m done with her? Have my cake and eat it too? My mind balks at the hellish future that Melanie is imagining.
“You’re trying to use your daughter as leverage to get what you want?”
She snorts. “Okay, that’s one way of putting it, I guess. Listen, Xavier-”
“-She’s your daughter.”
“Jesus. I’ve been a mother for eighteen years of my life, okay? I don’t know what to tell you. Enough is enough. I need to live my own life for me, I deserve to live my own life. I always thought she and I could be friends later, you know? If she became more fun.” She snorts with laughter. “I don’t mind if she’s around as long as you do the parenting. You always liked that, anyway. But I did my part, okay? I saw her through to adulthood, didn’t I?”
“But you didn’t see her through to adulthood. Social Services was called, Melanie!”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic! You can’t have it both ways, Xavi She can’t be too young to be on her own but old enough for you to fuck. So which is it?”
I gape at her, too stunned to speak. Point Melanie.
“We haven’t…” I stutter quietly. “I’ve never…”
She rolls her eyes. “The one thing I ask is that you don’t tell me the details.”
I’m shocked to my core. Shocked at what she’s offering, shocked at what she already knows, shocked that I ever thought I could love this woman. Shocked that for years I never let myself see what she’s really like deep down inside: vindictive, cruel, and selfish.
When I do speak, I almost don’t recognize my own voice. It’s low and serious. “Go pack your bags.”