-Alyssa –
I’d texted Taylor, just an ‘I’m thinking of you’, but she didn’t see it till late. In the morning, we conversed back and forth, and I told her that it felt weird waking up without her. It was true; the first thing I did this morning was reach for her. I lay in bed for almost fifteen minutes, wondering how in the hell I’d fallen so hard so fast. I also wondered how I could feel so happy and scared at the same time.
I stayed in my room most of the day, ostensibly packing. Mom and Dad were at their club playing tennis, and Kelsey was over at her friend Bethany’s house, so I had nothing to do but pack and stew in my own juices while watching Sadie’s dot crawl slowly across the map.
By noon I was all packed up. Sadie seemed about four hours away, so I put on my bikini and headed out to the pool to get some sun. I had my phone with me, and was surfing around TMZ when I tapped on a story about Kristen Stewart, which led into a series of stories about lesbians, and being a lesbian and all manner of LGBTQ culture and…
“Hey, honey, watcha reading?”
My heart leapt into my throat as my mom set a glass of lemonade by my chaise lounge. On my phone was a big picture of a woman in a pride parade, completely decked out in rainbow paraphernalia
“Nothing!” I said it just a little too loud and defensively, and my mom looked at me strangely as she sat down. I swore internally and cast around for something to say. I know she’d seen the picture.
After what felt like minutes, an idea finally hit me. “I was just thinking that there aren’t any lesbians at the sorority, or none that are out at least. I was just wondering how that would go over. I was thinking about maybe doing some sensitivity training this year. Be more open about things, get a little more diversity.” I shrugged and looked down. “When you were in school, were there any, you know, …?”
“Lesbians?” Now it was my mom’s turn to look askance. “There were certainly a few gay men in the drama department, but they kept it quiet. It was the early nineties in Kansas, not the most forward thinking of places. Everyone was scared of AIDS, and being gay meant AIDS. At least as far as the rednecks I was around were concerned.”
“So you never experimented in college?” I put a joking lilt into my voice, which made mom blush.
“Uh, no. Sorry to burst the fantasies of men everywhere, but not every girl fools around with their roommate in college.” She looked down. “I mean, for some it was an open secret, and probably for others it was just a secret. But I’m sure they all felt they had to hide to some extent. It’s a good thing you’re doing, I think.”
“Thanks, mom.”
I smiled at her and she pulled me into a hug, which felt wonderful. “Oh, such a good heart.” She gave me an extra squeeze and let me go and I lay back down. I just lied to my mother, point blank. I tried to tell myself that I had a plan, that I was going to discuss it with Sadie first, but it didn’t work, not completely. Taylor assumed that when it came to it, I’d sacrifice her for the safety of normalcy. I wondered if I’d just proven her right.
I felt a tear well up, and I grabbed my sunglasses to hide it. I stayed there, lost in my own thoughts until about an hour later, when the gate opened and Bethany came in with my sister, and the two leapt into the pool. I watched them splash around innocently, trying to remember if I’d ever been that carefree. Yeah, I think I was, just a week ago. It was amazing how quickly life could become complicated.
***
Sadie arrived a little after five-thirty and I was waiting for her on the front patio when she did. Most of the nervousness I was feeling fell away as my best friend unfolded herself out of her old blue Toyota, and I ran to embrace her.
As we hugged it felt strange. I was far more aware of her physical presence than ever before. Not attraction, not really, but it was definitely different.
Sadie could feel it, and she pulled away. “You okay?”
“Yeah fine, just…” I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. Senior year. Adulthood looming.” Lying was starting to become a habit, and I didn’t like it.
“I know! I can’t wait!” She pulled her overnight bag from the front seat. The rest of her stuff was piled in the back and trunk. She took in a deep breath. “Ah, the perfect combination of sea and smog, I’m home. I didn’t miss dinner, did I?”
I laughed. “No, dad’s making salmon. I think he remembers how much you raved about it last year.”
“Hell yeah, I did. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get decent seafood in Central Texas?”
“You’ve told me. A lot.”
“Well, don’t forget it. Excellent, first dinner, then gossip. I have stuff to tell you.”
“Stuff about Noah?”
It was her turn to blush. “Maybe. Definitely.”
Giggling, we went inside.
***
“That was incredible, Mr. Winter burg. Thank you.”
“Yeah dad, that was great.”
My dad was beaming. “You’re very welcome girls. Now you run along, Kelsey will help clean up.”
“Dad!”
“Your sister has a friend in town.”
“Bethany’s here!”
“Yes, but Ally hasn’t seen her friend in months. You see Bethany every day.”
Bethany stood up. “I’ll help, Mr. Winterberg.”
Kelsey glowered at her for a second, but mom cut the mild tension forming. “Thank you, Bethany. If you could just clear the table, bring things into the kitchen? Kelsey, you help.”
She sighed. “Yes, mom.”
Sadie and I didn’t stay to question our good fortune, but we did carry our plates and glasses to the sink before escaping upstairs to my room. As soon as we entered Sadie tossed her bag into the corner and flopped down on my bed. “Ohh, this is nice. I think that mattress I slept on last night was literally made out of crushed gravel.”
I chuckled inwardly. I wonder how she’d feel about lounging on my bed if she knew whom I’d been sleeping with this last week. It felt strange, almost a little like cheating, but not really. I mean, I’d realized that I had a type, and Sadie wasn’t it. Sadie was only an inch taller than me, and we shared that curvy physique that got us both noticed by guys. I knew now that I liked tall, athletic girls, like Taylor. Mmm, Taylor. I got a little shiver at the thought of my new lover. How long till I could be in her arms again?
“Hey, where’d you go?” Sadie was looking at me steadily.
I spluttered a second before remembering she couldn’t actually read my mind. “Nowhere. So how was your summer?”
“Good, dull, mostly. A few highlights.”
“I take it the highlights didn’t involve frying chicken.”
“Oh, God, don’t mention chicken. I swear I’m never eating fried chicken again for the rest of my life.”
“You say that every year. By October you’ll be begging for it. And don’t forget, that fried chicken is paying for your school.”
Sadie rolled over. “I know, I know. You sound like my parents.” Sadie’s Dad owned multiple KFC’s in the greater Dallas area, and she had to work there during the summers. “But you don’t get to say anything until you’ve spent a summer operating a pressure fryer. Not all of us got cushy internships.”
Climbing onto the bed still felt weird, so I sat down on my dressing chair. “And the highlights? Do they involve one Noah Patterson?”
“Mmm, maybe.” She was trying to be coy, but couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across her face. “God, Aly, I think I’m in love.”
Perfect. Let’s talk about her. “Did he actually come visit?”
Sadie shrugged. “No, but we went on a lot of dates, still.”
I shook my head. “How’d that work?”
“The magic of the internet, my friend.” She had a wide-eyed grin. “We went for walks, on a picnic, out to dinner.” She laughed at my bemused expression. “So one night we both went to different Olive Gardens and skyped. I brought a picture holder, you know, one of those fold out ones? And I put my tablet in it so we could see each other, and we had dinner and talked.”
“Wow.”
“I thought it’d be corny, but was really nice.” Sadie was blushing. “And we talked like every night. Even when I worked late he’d stay up ’til I got home. We’d be up ’til like, one or two. It was so romantic.”
I grinned. “So, did you guys do the virtual nasty?”
Sadie’s blush deepened and she looked down. “No. I would have, but he said he wanted our first time to, um, he wanted to really be able to touch me. He said he wanted to be the one who made me feel good.” Her face got very serious. “I cannot tell you how horny I am.”
I laughed. “Girl, you have no one to blame but yourself. That boy has been pining for you since we were freshman.”
“I know!” She threw herself back onto the mattress. “He told me. How the hell did it take me three years to realize how great he is? No, I have to wait until two weeks before summer break.”
I couldn’t stop giggling. “When does he get in?
“Tuesday morning. Well, he’ll be here tomorrow night, but he’s staying the first night with his aunt and uncle.” She sat up and ran her fingers through her long, straight, dark brown hair. “I’m going to go take out my contacts. Then, missy, we’re going to talk about your new beau. Got it?”