Alex’s P. O. V.
I feel so lost. Completely lost.
When the doctor informed us about the condition of Stella’s mother, I felt like killing my father. How could he torture someone to this extent? Why couldn’t I ever see his true face?
Before Stella’s mother, did he torture other women? Did he also hurt my mother?
My chest tightens with immense pain as I sit outside Stella’s mother’s hospital room, lost in thought. How can I face Olivia, knowing that I carry the blood of the man who hurt her? How am I supposed to promise her I’ll keep Stella safe when my father inflicted so much pain on her? Will she ever be able to trust me?
I stare at the floor, fists clenched, and try to steady my breathing. Thoughts revolve endlessly around my mind: Did I somehow miss the signs? Have I been blind to my father’s true nature all my life?
The truth is, I don’t know who he is anymore. I don’t know who I am anymore. And worse, I don’t know how I’ll prove to Olivia that I’m not like my father-that I would rather die than see Stella suffer.
As I sit there, feeling helpless, the door to Olivia’s room opens. Stella steps out, her eyes are red but holding a glimmer of determination. She notices me and, without a word, comes to sit beside me. We sit in silence, sharing a grief that neither of us can fully express.
Before either of us can speak, a doctor approaches with a serious expression. “Mr Alex, I’m here to inform you that your father has passed away. He succumbed to excessive blood loss.”
Her words hit me. My father-gone. Just like that.
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel. Relief? Grief? Anger? Nothing feels right. My father-the monster-no longer exists in this world, but the man I thought he was, the one I wanted to believe in, had already died long before tonight.
Stella takes my hand in hers. “Alex… I’m so sorry.”
I can’t face her. Not now.
“I need some time alone.” I pull my hand away and rise before rushing out of the hospital, bumping into people, utterly lost.
Images of my father flash through my mind-the warm memories of him teaching me, his laughter, his words echoing, “A man should always respect women.” That was the father I knew, or maybe the one I wanted to know.
As I keep walking, I can’t stop feeling as though everything I believe about my life has crumbled beneath me. The man who died today wasn’t my father. He was a stranger. A monster.
And yet, part of me mourns, not for the man who did these things but for the father I thought I had.
The father I knew… was he ever real? Or was he only a story I told myself? I feel as if I’ve lost everything.
I close my eyes, trying to hold back the tears, but in the darkness, Stella’s face appears.
Suddenly, I know where I need to be.
I rush back into the hospital, winding my way through the halls until I find her sitting in the waiting area. She’s slumped, exhausted, and staring straight, lost in thought. I can see she’s trying to hold herself together, even as everything around her falls apart.
I kneel in front of her and place my head on her lap. She startles, but then rests her hands on my head before running her fingers through my hair. The warmth of her touch breaks the dam inside me, and I feel the tears finally trickle down my cheeks.
“I feel so lost, Stella,” I say, my voice filled with immense pain. “I don’t know who I am anymore. Everything I thought I knew… it’s all gone. But you’re here. You’re the only real thing I have left.”
She pulls me closer, her touch soothing my shattered heart. And at that moment, I feel like maybe, just maybe, I haven’t lost everything after all.
“Please don’t hate me,” I murmur, pressing my face against her stomach, gripping her tightly as if she’s my lifeline. I feel the dampness of my tears soaking her shirt. “Please don’t hate me, Flower.”
Her fingers stroke my hair as she comforts me, her voice also filled with pain. “Alex, I could never hate you. Not even in my dreams. You’re the one who saved my mother because you gave me the strength to fight for her today. Don’t ever think I could hate you.”
I raise my face and look at her with immense pain in my eyes. “But… my father tortured your mother. You should hate me.”
She takes my face in her hands, fixing her gaze on me. “You’re not your father, Alex. You’re the man who helped me when I was drowning. You’re the man I trust completely. I know you would never hurt me. Please, don’t let his actions make you doubt yourself.”
Her words feel like a balm on my wounded heart, but I still feel lost. “I don’t know. Stella… I feel so lost.” I stare at her like a child who’s lost his way. I’ve never felt so vulnerable in my life, and this shit hurts so much that I feel like I can’t breathe.
Stella’s thumbs brush away the tears, and her eyes, filled with understanding, fix on me. “I’m with you, baby. You’re going to be okay. Trust me.” She reassures me, and I close my eyes, feeling a glimmer of peace in her touch and words.
“I don’t want anything else if you’re with me, Flower.”
There are no words to express how glad I am to have Stella with me during this time. I can’t even imagine what I would have done without her. She is like a ray of sunshine in my dark days.
“I’ll always be here for you.” Although I was already certain she would always be there for me, her words give me a sense of peace.
She leans down and presses a gentle kiss to my forehead, sealing a promise that I didn’t realise I needed so desperately. In her touch, I finally feel the pieces of myself begin to come back together.