Lucas
“I’m waiting, Aria. What the fuck was that all about? My patience is hanging by a thread.
“Lucas, calm down, please.”
“Stop telling me to calm down and just fucking talk, okay?” My voice comes out sharper than I intended, but I don’t care.
She sighs, rubbing her temples like I’m the one making no damn sense. “It was nothing serious. We were just talking about school and the whole captain shit that went down. I’m just trying to help settle things.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Really, Aria? You think I don’t know when you’re hiding something?” My jaw tightens. “I know you, and right now, you’re fucking lying to me.”
I’m so fucking pissed. I just got back from catching up with some warriors and staff, and Sarita tells me Aria’s outside looking for me. But when I get here? She’s standing way too fucking close to Mark of all people, looking like they were talking about something important-and now she won’t tell me what.
“Listen, Lucas,” she snaps, stepping closer. “You have to fucking trust me. I don’t know when you became this insecure, but stop. I’m not gonna leave you for Mark, so calm the fuck down.”
“This isn’t about that, Aria, and you fucking know it.”
“It is!” she throws back. “You don’t expect me to ignore Mark every time he talks to me, or what…never look at him? That’s ridiculous, and you know it!”
I exhale sharply, trying to rein in the anger boiling under my skin. Stepping closer, I cup her cheek, forcing her to look at me. “Aria… you know you can trust me, right?” My voice softens, but my heart’s pounding.
She nods. “Of course, I do. Don’t be like this…”
“Then why are you hiding something from me?”
Her lips part, her expression torn. It’s like she wants to tell me something, but she hesitates.
“Aria, baby, are you okay?” My forehead almost touches hers now. “Talk to me.”
“Lucas… I…”
“Is it that bastard Mark? Did he threaten you?”
She shoves my hand away, taking a step back. “Oh, for fuck’s sake! Not everything is about Mark, Lucas! I’m tired of your damn tantrums!”
My brows furrow. “Oh, so now I’m throwing tantrums?”
“Yes! That’s exactly what you’re doing!” She runs a hand through her hair, exasperated. “You know what? I’m done with this conversation. I’m going inside. I’m not about to stand here arguing about bullshit.”
And just like that, she turns and walks off.
I don’t even have it in me to stop her. I just stand there like a fucking idiot, watching her disappear into the house.
Fuck.
My knees give out, and I collapse onto the cold ground, rubbing my face. Maybe Aria’s right. Maybe I am losing my damn mind. This whole situation is so fucked up. No matter how hard I try to act normal, everything just sucks right now.
I sit there for what feels like forever, head buried in my arms, brain completely blank because, honestly? I’m just so fucking tired.
“Lucas.”
I lift my head and see Beta John standing a few feet away, looking confused as hell.
“What the fuck are you doing out here?”
I sigh, dragging a hand down my face. “I don’t even know.”
He lets out a sigh of his own before sitting down next to me. “You good?”
I shake my head. “I have no fucking clue.”
“I get it,” he mutters. “Everything going on right now… it’s a lot.”
I let out a dry, humorless chuckle. “No, John. You don’t get it.” Frustration rises in my chest again. “I don’t fucking understand what I’m supposed to do. I’m angry…so goddamn angry at my father. But then, seeing him like this…It’s fucking me up. After everything he did to my mom, after everything he put her through… I shouldn’t feel bad for him. What kind of son am I?”
I can’t even finish my sentence before my vision blurs and fuck…I break. A sharp breath escapes me, and before I can stop myself, my shoulders shake.
John doesn’t say anything right away. He just sits there.
“Lucas, you’re not a bad son,” he finally says. “You’re just a person with emotions.”
But I shake my head violently. “No. No. He used to beat her so fucking bad.” The words feel like acid leaving my throat. “And I was too fucking weak to do anything. I couldn’t help her, John. She was so depressed. She had no one. Just me and my sister. And now…now…he wants me to accept that woman? Another son?”
John sighs heavily. “I get it, Lucas…”
“No, you don’t.” I cut John off before he can finish. My voice comes out rough, strained. “This is fucked up. I’m fucked up. I shouldn’t feel bad for my father suffering now. Not after everything he did to my mom. To Aria’s parents…Maybe that’s why she’s been so distant.”
John frowns. “Aria’s acting distant?”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Can you blame her? And now, after everything I endured from my father, I have to prove my worth to everyone? Show that I’m not fucking threatened by this new son of his? I should’ve left a long time ago. I’m such a goddamn fool.”
John exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. “Lucas, you were just a kid. Where the hell would you have gone?”
“I don’t know,” I mutter. “Maybe I should’ve followed Sarita. Anything would’ve been better than this.”
“Lucas, listen to me.” John shifts so he’s facing me fully. “You’re the real Alpha of Shadow Pang Pack. Your father knows that. Don’t let anyone…not anyone…make you believe otherwise.”
I let out a slow breath, shaking my head. “Then why do I feel otherwise? My father…he’s just trying to pass me the position as some kind of bullshit atonement. But the elders? They don’t want me.”
And that’s not even the worst of it. My stomach twists painfully because deep down, I know what really hurts. It’s my mom. This…this whole fucking situation…it feels like a slap in the face to her memory. All these years…I was here, enjoying my father’s riches, pretending his actions didn’t push her to her death.
John watches me carefully. Then, in a softer voice. “Lucas… you’re not your father.”
My throat closes up, and I blink rapidly, trying to shove the emotion back down.
“You’re a good man,” John continues. “Any father, any mother, would be lucky to have you as their son.” He places a firm hand on my shoulder. “I know you’re angry. I know you’re hurt. And that’s okay. But don’t you ever think you’re not enough. Because, Lucas…you’re more than enough.”
I let out a shaky laugh, swiping a hand over my face. “Goddess, man… that’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
He grins. “Don’t get used to it.”
I snort, shaking my head. “Right.”
“As for Aria… maybe you both need to talk.” John says.
But I hesitate. My stomach knots up again. “I don’t know, man… I don’t think she wants to. And you know what’s fucked up? I know she loves me. But sometimes, I feel like I love her more.” I let out a rough exhale. “And I’m fine with that. I am. But it just feels like I’m… dispensable to her. Like she could live without me, but I couldn’t live without her.”
John’s face hardens. “Don’t say that, Lucas.”
“You saw it, didn’t you? When she left… I fucking crumbled. I couldn’t function. I searched for months until I found her. But she? She managed without me.” My fingers dig into my palms. “And now? Now she’s keeping something from me… because she doesn’t trust me.” I swallow hard. “Maybe it’s because of my dad.”
John shakes his head. “Lucas, just talk to her.”
I sigh, slumping back against the wall. “We’ll be fine,” I say, even though I’m not sure I believe it. I love Aria too much to even think about leaving. I’ll just… wait. Until she’s ready to talk to me.
John watches me for a beat, then nods. He stands, stretching. “Alright then.”
I push myself up as well. “You heading home now?”
“Yeah. It’s late. My wife’s probably waiting for me,” he says with a small laugh.
I glance up at the dark sky. Shit, it is late. But thankfully, his house is just a stone’s throw from ours.
He walks me to the entrance and nods toward the house. “See you tomorrow. And don’t overthink shit.”
I force a small smile. “Thanks, John. Really.”
He waves me off and heads home. I sigh and step inside, already dreading whatever the hell I’m about to walk into.
“Lucas, where have you been?” Sarita calls from the couch, eyes narrowing. “Aria already ate dinner without you.”
I barely glance at her and Kevin sitting beside her. “Is that so?” My voice is flat as I make my way toward the stairs.
“Aren’t you gonna eat?” she asks.
“Nah. I’m good.”
When I reach our bedroom, I hesitate at the door, sucking in a deep breath. My chest feels heavy as hell, but I push it open and step inside. It’s dark. Aria’s already in bed, curled up under the blankets, her back turned to me.
I move to my side and lie down, mirroring her position. For a second, I just stare at the ceiling, my hands clenched into the sheets.
“Aria…” I call softly.
Nothing.
But I know she’s awake. I know it because I can feel her wolf stirring inside her, restless as fuck. But she still won’t talk to me.
And that? That fucking hurts.
Maybe she’s tired of me. Of my troubles. Maybe I should just keep them to myself.
Yeah. That’s probably for the best.
I exhale slowly. “Good night,” I whisper.
And then, I close my eyes, forcing myself to pretend like this doesn’t fucking kill me.