Hi Xavi- can you call me at this number pls?
I don’t know if this is still your # I assume it is
I need to talk to u
I’ll try your office # too
Best friends with Susie from your office now lol!! She’s great
But call me if u get a chance
The fact that she called my office and spoke to Susie makes me nervous. Susie’s my very chatty Admin Assistant. I wonder what information Melanie could be looking for that Susie might have given her.
Dropping the phone back into my pocket, I realize I have no energy for making dinner.
“Sweetie,” I call out to Hazel. “I’m going to order pizza for dinner.”
“Yay!” she calls out from the dining room table, flashing me a bright smile.
I open my own computer at the dining room table as we wait for the pizza to arrive, trying to hide my distracted thoughts behind the screen. I’m not sure if I should tell Hazel about the texts. Does she worry about her mother? Would she want to know that Mel reached out to me? Or would she wonder why Mel hadn’t reached out to her first?
Hazel, who’s supposed to be studying, fills the silence instead with excited chatter, and I don’t try to stop her or redirect her to her books. She’s in a good mood tonight.
Since she missed applying to universities while she was fending for herself in Mel’s apartment, we’ve talked about her interning at my firm until she can apply to school again next year. She’s excited about the prospect, trying out the idea of being an architect herself one day.
“It’s kind of perfect,” she bubbles on, “because I was actually thinking about engineering, but I also love art.”
When the doorbell rings, anxious energy propels me to my feet, eager to have something to do, and Hazel is only a step behind, singing out “Pizza-ahhh!” as I reach for the door.
When I was in university, I worked during the summer as a teller at a bank that got held up at gunpoint.
A man in a ball cap and sunglasses-no ski mask-approached my station and slipped a piece of paper towards me. I assumed it was cash or a cheque.
If you hit the alarm, you die, the note read.
I looked up with a half smile, confused, to see the barrel of a gun pointed directly at me. I became vaguely aware that people were screaming.
When it was all over, the story didn’t even make the news. I handed over all the money in my till, so did the other tellers, and he left. Within the hour, he’d been apprehended and the money was reclaimed. No one was hurt, but it was the most frightening experience of my life, seeing the barrel of the gun right between my eyes.
But the fear I felt that day is nothing compared to the way I feel right now.
Adrenaline spikes my blood, driving me to run or fight. Instead I just grip the doorknob harder, as if it can steady me somehow.
Hazel speaks first.
“Mom?”
Gone is her ebullience of only a moment ago. Her voice is strained and shocked.
On the doorstep, looking flamboyant with her wild red hair, and in a bright blue dress, Melanie looks surprised, too. “Oh, sweetheart,” she says to Hazel, with just the slightest hint of disappointment. “You’re here.”
For A Heartbeat, no one moves. No one says anything. Nothing happens. Then Melanie laughs breezily and says, “Well? Can I come in?” She picks up the two suitcases at her feet and walks through the door while Hazel and I just stare at her, like she’s risen from the dead.
“You two look like you’ve seen a ghost!” she quips, and it doesn’t escape my notice that Hazel’s reaction is as frozen and restrained as mine. She doesn’t run into her mother’s arms the way any other child might. But she never was that way with her mother. She was always wary around Melanie.
Right now she looks how I feel: shocked and horrified.
“Melanie,” I manage, finally. “What are you doing here?”
“I got your new address from Susie! Isn’t that great? Thought I’d surprise you.”
“Where have you been?”
“Oh please,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “It’s always like this with you, Xavi” Still holding her bags, she walks down the hallway, raising her voice as she speaks over her shoulder. “You’re so focused on the literal, because that’s all you can understand. Space, time, here, now.” She stops in the living room and drops her bags, turning around to us with a dramatic flare. “How about asking how I am, for once?”
“Dad,” says Hazel beside me, under her breath.
“I’ll handle it,” I mutter, and follow Melanie, cursing silently.
She’s begun walking around the main room, trailing her fingers over the furniture and taking in every inch of the space as if she’s touring a museum. She looks good. I hate that I notice that, but I do. Her dress is short and shows off her long legs, and her hair’s grown almost as long as Hazel’s.
“Melanie, what are you doing here?”