I glanced out of the corner of my eye. Yeah, there was no way Grandpa Williams was fitting in the pew between the two of them ..
I returned to my last task – to receive a handshake – and a “Well done.” – from my father.
I smiled at my two matrons and stepped between them, spun to face the front of the church, and extended my elbows – the left for my sometime-lover – and the right for the woman who gave me birth.
I suppressed a laugh-snort at the thought that I had been in both of their birth canals at some point in my life.
At their pew, my father stepped in first – sitting next to his in-laws.
My mother placed her hands on my biceps and leaned in to give me a light peck on the lips. I tried not to react as she said, “I love you, Reggie,” and sat down.
I turned to Kasey’s mother. She had changed into a long, black, sleeveless dress. It hid some of her best parts – but she was still a vision of beauty – regal – majestic.
Taking her into my arms, I hugged her, holding her tightly to myself for a minute.
I released her – but held her at arm’s length.
“Thank you for trusting me,” I told her.
Her peck on my lips was slightly longer than mom’s – but nothing to attract undue attention.
Once she was seated, I mounted the platform to join the minister and my buddies.
The organ started playing and everyone rose to turn for a look at my bride – everyone – that is – except her grandmother.
Grandma Mitchell leaned down and whispered something to the bitch and she grudgingly rose to her feet – but refused to turn around.
When she glanced at me, I stuck my tongue out at her. She gaped for a minute and then stared at the floor, frowning.
I was really hoping Kasey’s cousin would get a picture of her right now – because I wanted my beautiful bride to see what the witch was doing – and glimpse the sullen look of anger that had settled on her face at being hemmed in on every side.
I was startled out of my ruminations by Nick gasping, “Dude! Your wife is hot!” loud enough for the entire church to hear him – which elicited snickers and giggles from most of the guests.
I looked over at him and he was grinning broadly, giving me a thumbs-up. I grinned back and gave him one in return. He had managed to move all eyes in the place – including mine – squarely onto my gorgeous girl.
Harold Williams actually looked somewhat pleased as he offered her his hand – palm up – and guided my stunning bride down the aisle.
Once they arrived, I stepped forward and waited for Pastor John to say, “Who gives this bride?”
My heart dropped.
I waited to hear what he would say.
Kasey’s grandfather turned to look at her and said, “On behalf of her father – who loved her with all of his heart – I do.”
Her eyes misted, but she did not move – but she smiled.
I stepped forward, shook his hand, nodding my thanks, and then took his place – as he stepped over to find his seat.
Out of the corner of my left eye, I noticed Grandma Mitchell pat the seat – to her left – as Mr. Williams momentarily paused to figure out where to sit.
I glanced to my right.
This was really happening.
“Hey,” I whispered, smiling.
“Hey,” she whispered back, returning the smile.
“You look hot,” I said, a little louder.
“Be good,” she ordered – but she smirked.
I led her to our place in front of Pastor John.
There were scriptures, music, roses (for the moms), candles, vows, and rings – and – before I knew it – I was kissing the world’s hottest cheerleader in front of a crowd of smiling people – and one bitter hag.
Pastor John announced us as Mr. & Mrs. Reginald Mitchell and I scooped my bride – my wife – off of her feet – and carried her up the aisle – as she cackled with infectious laughter.
When we reached the foyer, I set her back onto her feet and hugged & kissed her – my heart threatening to explode from my chest.
We turned to greet our guests – and found Mr. Williams escorting his classmates up the aisle. One looked like a queen – and one looked like she’d escaped a Disney movie without her poisoned apple.
Ethyl walked past in a huff but Kasey’s grandfather accepted handshakes from me and my wife.
Grandma Mitchell hugged the two of us, gave us kisses on both cheeks, and promised to remain vigilant as they headed to the reception area.
I didn’t expect problems – not because Grandma assured me that she’d moved her placeholder to the Williams’ table – but because I really didn’t expect them to stick around.
Kasey’s mom groped my ass during our hug – but – otherwise – behaved. She and my parents headed for their seats.
We greeted each of our guests and invited them to join us for finger foods, cake & punch, a few antics, and a little dancing.
Pastor John came out, we signed the paperwork, he congratulated us, and then he split.
We had started grabbing our things – when our favorite police officer came walking up. I have no clue where he’d been hiding – but he complimented us on managing things without an incident – and said to just call if we needed him.
We arrived at the reception to find Nick & Natalie emceeing things. Their wit & charm had everyone enjoying themselves.
Nick offered a heartfelt speech, glorifying my bride – and Natalie said some really nice things about me.
When it was time for the bouquet, Kasey stole the mic and informed the crowd that she was taking a different approach. She raised the flowers in her hand and twisted the arrangement – splitting it into two equal halves – and then hand-delivered the halves to Natalie and Cindy – who hugged her. The bridesmaids then looked over at Paul & Nick with their eyebrows raised. The boys pretended to take evasive action. The guests loved it.
Kasey had hired one of our former classmates – who sang covers of Taylor Swift songs – and she rocked the house while we did a little dancing.
As soon as the wedding party finished the first dance, Nick & Natalie headed to the cake table to get that started – while Kasey & I danced with the moms.
We cut the cake – and Kasey & I fed each other a bite – without any shenanigans – and then our emcees started handing out the cake & punch. Meanwhile, Kasey and I went to dance with the grandmas and grandpas.
We started with the Williams – to get that out of the way. I couldn’t believe they were still there!
They didn’t want a dance – but Grandpa Williams pulled out a business card and made to hand it to Kasey. The moms appeared – out of nowhere – to see what was going on.
“What’s that?!” his wife hissed.
“Your son’s final request,” he replied. “Go get in the car.”
The bitch (of course) didn’t leave – but she did step back, out of the way. Grandma Mitchell – ever vigilant – stepped up behind her – so I decided that it was safe to turn my attention back to Kasey’s grandfather.
He looked into her eyes and said, “I realize you probably never want to see us again. I am sorry. If you change your mind, you are welcome anytime. Your grandmother has always been difficult but she (he looked down and lowered his voice – and cleared his throat before pressing on) .. she is insatiable .. and I’ve been addicted to her since our first night together – more than 50 years ago.”