“The lasagna. It’s transcendent.” Her face was absolutely serious, which made me laugh. I was afraid I’d offended her for a moment before her mouth spread into a wide grin. She shook her head, chuckling. “You’re something else.”
“Why?”
“No reason. How ’bout you?” She pointed at my menu.
“Oh!” I realized I hadn’t even opened it. I forced myself to look away from her and down at the selections. “So, should I just get the lasagna like you?”
“Nah, you can try some of mine.”
“Well I love seafood, so this looks good.” I pointed to the picture of the fettuccine and shrimp Alfredo.
Taylor grimaced.
“You don’t like shrimp?”
“Seafood. Never been my thing.”
I gave her a stern look. “How can you live in L. A. and not like seafood?”
“Didn’t grow up with it. Mom had an allergy to, well, anything new, really. It wasn’t dad’s favorite either. He thinks real meat comes from a cow or a pig. Maybe a bird on Thanksgiving.”
“You have tried seafood, haven’t you?”
She blushed a little. “Sure, I mean, we had fish sticks at school, and I went to Long John Silver’s once.”
“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that.”
“What?”
Jerome came back and dropped off a basket of sliced Italian bread, along with herb infused olive oil for dipping. “Are you ladies ready?”
“Yeah. She wants the lasagna, and I want the shrimp Alfredo.”
“Excellent.” He moved away.
“You’re going to make me try the shrimp, aren’t you?”
“Absolutely. That way I’m not the only one trying new things tonight.” I shot her my most coquettish, innocent look. I expected that little smirk of hers, but she just gazed at me, and I couldn’t read her expression.
Taylor
God, she was adorable. I wasn’t looking forward to the shrimp, really, but I also knew I wasn’t going to say no to her. To me, shrimp looked to be seagoing grubs, like the kind we’d turn up tilling mom’s garden every spring. At least it wasn’t lobster, which was clearly alien in origin.
But for her I’d try it. The whole way here, with her arms around me as I rode, my body had felt electric. Looking at her was mesmerizing. I kept up my end of the conversation, but I fought to do it, forever losing myself in those incredible brown eyes. And that shy smile, I couldn’t remember a pair of lips I’d wanted to kiss so badly. She was telling me about the internship she’d just completed, how they’d actually let her give some input on the design.
I took a moment to remind myself that she was just a bi-curious college kid, and I was just an experiment she’d tell her forty-something friends about over brunch someday so she could sound like she’d been adventurous and wild in her youth. That’s fine, it’s the only thing I was good for anyway. I was going to show her a good time tonight, though, satisfy that curiosity for her. Then she’d be gone, whether I wanted it so or not. I laughed at a small joke she made, and her eyes twinkled when I did.
I swallowed a bite of bread. “We need to hire you to design a new HQ for us.”
“That bad?”
I shrugged. “I’ve always thought it could be more like a community and nature center, teaching about the ocean. I remember all the state parks back home had nature centers, where you could learn about local wildlife. It’d be nice to do something like that with the beach.”
“That’s a great idea, with one of your sculptures standing out in front.”
I grinned. “You’ve never seen one of my sculptures.”
“If they’re like you they’re amazing.”
I laughed and leaned forward. “You have a high opinion of me.”
“I do.” She was so close; I wanted to kiss her. I felt like a moth pulled toward a light. Problem is, I reminded myself, that rarely works out well for the moth. Under the table her leg touched mine, sliding slowly up and down. Her eyes held me, and for a moment I was completely lost.
Mercifully our food chose that time to arrive, and there was a blessed distraction from the intensity of the moment.
“Okay, now try this.” She forked a piece of shrimp and held it out to me. I leaned forward and let her put it in my mouth. Immediately I could taste the garlic and cheese sauce, and I bit down on it. I’d expected it to be chewy and earthy, but it wasn’t. Instead it was crisp and sweet. I actually liked it.
Aly could read my face. “I told you. Sometimes things are surprising.”
“I guess they are.” I held out a piece of my lasagna for her, and the way her face relaxed in pleasure when she took it in sent a shiver down my spine. Her leg rested against mine, a constant, glorious reminder of her physical presence.
“That’s amazing.” I couldn’t help smiling at the breathy nature of her voice. Heaven above, I wanted to hear her come. She gave me another shrimp, and I gave her another bite of my lasagna. We shared several more, laughing and giggling as we did. I’m sure we were getting stares, but I didn’t care. The tough chick persona I always carried with me slipped away for a beautiful half an hour. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed this much.
I even told her some stories about my childhood, like my brother getting shocked leaning against an electric fence on my grandparent’s ranch in Montana. I almost never shared like that. After I did the pain came back at the end, and she noticed.
Our plates were clean, and I was sipping a glass of water. She was looking down, as if deciding whether to say something.
“Taylor, why don’t you like to talk about your family?” I could feel my body stiffen up at the question. She leaned forward quickly, putting her hand on mine. “You don’t have to answer, but I’d like to know.”
I shrugged, looking down. “Not a lot to say really.”
Aly squeezed my hand. “That’s not true. You don’t have to lie to me.”
I tried to pull my hand away. “No, I can just unload on a rich girl from the coast, with a perfect life and perfect family. You have no idea what my life is like.” I winced as soon as I said it. That wasn’t fair, but she was getting a bit close. But she didn’t pull away. She didn’t even let go of my hand.
“No, I don’t. And I can’t, unless you tell me.”
I took a breath. “We were happy, mostly. I was the fourth of five, two brothers and two sisters. My parents were at least good to each other, I guess, and they loved us, when we were going, at least. Took us to church every Sunday, holidays with grandparents. They were, are, really prejudiced though, talking about gays like they were evil. I didn’t question it. And then I turned thirteen.”
“And you realized you were different?” She squeezed my hand.
I nodded, my eyes starting to burn with tears. “I’d been swimming for years. In the showers afterwards, girls were getting breasts and hips, and I couldn’t help looking. I got called out on it once, but I was able to laugh it off as envy. From then on I was terrified. Everything my friends were talking about with guys, I was feeling about girls. My parents couldn’t find out, so I hid from everyone. You wouldn’t recognize pictures of me from high school. I kept my hair long; let my mom buy me girly clothes. I even wore makeup, just a little. My parents weren’t keen on any of their daughters dating, so luckily they didn’t push me on that.
“Anyway, I got a scholarship to come here, which my mother did not want to allow, I’m sure she feels justified in that now. I met a girl, we decided to live together during my junior year, she was a year ahead. It felt real to me, so I came out to my parents. I haven’t seen them since.”
“I’m so sorry. And the girl?”
I shook my head. That still hurt.
“Ok, no more sad stuff.” Her leg slid up mine, shaking me out of my doldrums. “I believe you said something about dancing?” She smiled coquettishly, and I couldn’t help but return the grin. I waved Jerome over and settled the bill. As we began to walk away her hand slipped back into mine. Was she oblivious to the looks we were getting? Gillian had never acted like this. She’d always been put off by PDA’s. But Aly… a first date and she was fine holding my hand in public. Mr. Caratini waved to me as we left, shooting me a wide grin, his eyes twinkling.
Once we were back on my bike I tried to organize my thoughts, which wasn’t easy with Aly’s arms wrapped around my waist and her breasts pressing into my back. That was a hell of a dress she was wearing. I wondered how many times she’d caught me staring at her cleavage, especially when she’d leaned forward over the table. I know she had, because she’d started doing it more as the meal went on.
No, damn it. I shook my head. That wasn’t helping. Why had I been telling her my life story? I barely knew her, and she’d be gone after tonight anyway, no matter what I wanted. Wake up, Taylor. Take her dancing; show her a good time.
I was heading down into the valley, where there were several lesbian clubs I knew of. One in particular had good music, but wasn’t a total meat market. There was no line on a Tuesday night so as soon as we parked the bike we headed inside.
Her hand slid easily inside mine again as we entered. Why did that feel so good? The three hundred pound bouncer checked both our IDs, but Aly barely noticed him. Instead, she was looking around like a kid in a candy store. No, that wasn’t right, there was definitely a note of apprehension in her eyes. And she was gripping my hand a bit. I led her to an open table.
“How’re you doing?”
“Terrified. Excited.” She was staring out onto the floor, where women were gyrating to an intense beat. One couple was deep into a passionate kiss, their legs interlocked and weaving a sensuous rhythm. Aly was moving gently in her chair.
A waitress sporting black hair interwoven with vibrant stands of blue and purple locks arrived at the table. “Hi, ladies. What can I get’cha?”
“Can I get a rum and coke? What do you want, Aly?”
“Martini, double.” The girl nodded and walked away.
“A double, huh?”
Aly nodded toward the dance floor. “If I’m going to do that, yeah.”
I put my hand on her shoulder, electric shocks running up my arm as I touched her skin. She looked at me with those big eyes, and my heart swelled inside me. “You don’t have to.”
“Yes I do.”
“Aly, you really don’t. I can take you home.”
“No! No, I don’t, um, I don’t want to go home.” Our drinks arrived, and Aly immediately took a long pull from hers. “I wanted you to take me out, and um, and I want to dance. With you, I mean.”
I smirked at her, and she seemed to shudder for a second before grabbing my hand. “Come on.” Her eyes were a heart melting mix of fear and determination. I couldn’t help but laugh inside. She was magnificent, tiny and fragile looking, but full of strength and fire. The DJ was getting their techno on, a driving, pulsing beat greeting us as we reached the floor. Aly’s arms snaked up over her head, her hips swaying back and forth. My mouth went dry.