Kevin’s POV
“Charge!” Zeke shouted at the top of his lungs and blew a whistle by putting few folded fingers between his lips.
I think I was going to die now. I didn’t think I could do this. I didn’t think I could watch this. I loved watching battles and dueling among my men, both in wolf and human forms. I couldn’t believe I was shivering at the moment because it was Ella in the ring right now.
I understood what Zeke had said and planned to do. Ella needed to do more than training with him if she wanted to fight in the war. She wouldn’t listen if she was asked to not fight but this wasn’t what I was prepared to watch. Heck, I didn’t think Ella was ready as well and that was what I had told Zeke when he had told me of his plans for today’s training.
Did he have to do that so soon? I asked myself even though I knew the answer to the question and knew that he should have done that way before now.
I knew he was right but he didn’t have to pick Damien and Loki to be her opponents. There were other men in my pack that I could have recommended if Zeke had asked me. They definitely wouldn’t be Damien and Loki.
I snorted. Who was I kidding? It definitely had to be Damien and Loki. They were stronger wolves and exactly who Ella had to fight and train with if we needed assurance that she wouldn’t be swallowed whole when we encounter the rogues.
I forced myself to watch the battle. She was doing fine on her own. I hissed as Damien charged at her with his claws and wanted to growl and run at him to get himself under control. That was my mate he was fighting with, I felt I needed to remind him.
I sighed, hating myself and how weak I was. I knew this. I knew how this always was. Damien and Loki were in character as the rogues. They had to act like they were and bring out the best survival skills in Ella and make her fight harder. They both didn’t have the luxury to think of her as my mate or the mate of their alpha they needed to protect.
They probably weren’t thinking of anything at the moment except forcing her to fight harder than she had to. They were in character as rogues and couldn’t think as them and had to blank out their thoughts.
I was grateful that they weren’t thinking of rogues and that was the only thought keeping me sane while this fight is going on. I knew that no matter how intense this fight is, Ella wouldn’t die in it. Rogues would think of killing her but my men wouldn’t do that.
They would hurt her but wouldn’t kill her. That thought was meant to comfort me but it did nothing of such. I wanted to protect her from getting hurt at all. If only she wasn’t so stubborn about fighting with us against the rogues, I could have done exactly that.
I watched as Loki threw another slash in the air towards Ella with his claws. She swerved and bent low, avoiding the hit but she wasn’t fast enough. His claws slashed her on the face but she only winced without letting even as low as a hiss get out of her throat.
I was proud of her and at the same worried to death. I winced, closing my eyes in pain as I watched blood seep out from where she had been slashed. I wanted to run towards her and pull her away from there that enough was enough but I didn’t do any of that. I didn’t know it was harder to restrain yourself from doing something than actually doing it.
I could swear that I had lost fifty years of my life by watching that fight. Was it not time to end this already? I asked myself, looking around as if I could find a clock hidden in the clouds. I sighed as I reminded myself that there wasn’t any time affixed to this fight. It only ended when Ella was able to beat the two of them.
When was that going to be? I wondered as I fixed my stare on my mate, trying to check if she was getting tired or not and still had enough strength in her to fight off those men who were gearing towards her as if she had caused the death of their mates.
I thought of going to Zeke to plead with him to end this but kept myself in check again, reminding myself that this was for Ella’s sake. I sighed again, not remembering how many times it had been now.
I was a mess. I thought as I shook my head.
“You are doing better than I thought. I thought you would have stopped watching and left by now.”
I turned as I heard Zeke’s voice beside me. I ignored him and didn’t say anything. I didn’t trust that my voice was going to sound like mine. I turned away from him and focused on the battle, wincing as Damien hit Ella on the head.
“It’s for her own sake.” Zeke said and walked away when he realized that I wasn’t going to say anything to him.
It was for her own sake. I nodded at his words and wondered why it was fucking so hard for me to accept that.