And Neal did close his eyes, fully determined to get to sleep. Her reminiscences of childhood had taken some of the steam out of his erection, for which he was profoundly grateful. When the two of them lay perfectly still, and he kept his eyes closed, he could almost imagine she was eight or nine again, a total innocent, utterly dependent.
But, if he had fooled his mind for a while, his body was not so easily convinced. When he drifted off to sleep it resumed control, and he woke up hard and warm, and pressed firmly against her right thigh. Immediately he pulled away from her, though her mouth was hanging open slightly and she was snoring.
Was she faking it — did she know? Had she felt him against her?
No, he decided. She looked too unselfconscious to be feigning sleep. Surely a pretty girl like his Nessa would not knowingly make such a snuffling racket, nor would she let her spit begin to run from the side of her mouth.
It may have been that lovely, slippery mouth that decided him. Or merely his deepseated conviction that she was indeed asleep. In any case, before he turned away from her, he let his right hand stray, with seeming casualness, out of her gentle grasp and over her jutting breast. For an instant only he rubbed his fingertips in a circle over the point, feeling her nipple. When she squirmed a little, and her eyebrows creased, he took his hand away. It required a supreme act of willpower to roll onto his other side and try to get some sleep.
December Twenty-seventh
Sherry stole out of her bedroom just before eight that morning, heading for Vanessa’s room. The previous evening she had wrung the last vestiges of Big Bear’s strength away from him, and since he required C batteries, and the only ones she knew of in the house were in Josh’s radio, she thought Vanessa might be able to help. If the girl gave vibrating dildos as gifts then she certainly had one with her — and if she had one she probably had a few — and if she had a few she might lend her poor mother some batteries. Simple reasoning. Even though it seemed crazy to her that she had balked at their “big boobs/sensitive nipples/horny as hell” conversation only days before, whereas now she was accosting her daughter in the early morning hours to borrow batteries for her giant dick toy.
It seemed a bit of a fool’s errand, to be sure — but maybe she was getting a bit foolish, if not a bit crazy. A big vibrating rubber dick certainly did not mend her own confusion and heartache, nor did it come close to providing the intimacy, the companionship — and no, not even the excitement she sought. About all it did was fortify her physically, a little bit, for the stresses of the day. Sure, it was better than using her remote control (though she did miss those little buttons!), and was certainly better than nothing. But what Sherry really missed was the sights, sounds, pressures and scents of real sex — things she knew no dildo could ever provide. The heat of a real cock. The man’s hairy chest looming in front of you to stroke, or brushing against your back. The puzzled, almost troubled expression a man wears when he’s about to cum. The sound of him panting, the dirty words in your ear — the squelch of your wet pussy being invaded. The aroma of cum in the air. These were things that made sex memorable, more than merely the “itch-scratching” provided by her toy. And it took a man — a real physical body in bed with her — to provide them.
Something that genuinely troubled her: she wasn’t even sure Neal could provide them for her, not anymore. Oh, she wanted him in her bed again — she missed his knowing tongue and his fat dick more than she cared to admit. But since so much distrust and animosity had grown up between them, she wasn’t sure she could let herself go enough with Neal to really satisfy herself.
Yes, that was the word — enough. A few nights back, when she’d been watching that cheezy porno, what had really turned her on was the thought of Headband Girl having “so many dicks” at her beck and call. It had never occurred to her that porno girls had an endless supply of dick if they wanted it — not just the actors with their huge equipment but also the director, the producers, the cameramen, the sound guys . . . Your average porn set must be crawling with guys, either doing some legitimate job or just hanging out, watching. And which of them wouldn’t unzip for the big titted porn queen, whether the cameras were going or not? Not so long ago such an idea would have held no appeal for her. The scene would have seemed vulgar, the girl cheap. But now . . .
She opened the door to Vanessa’s room ever so softly — no use knocking, the girl could sleep through marching bands. But the only creature stirring in Vanessa’s room was Jasper, who lifted his head from her favorite goosedown pillow and winked at Sherry quizzically; a bushy brown tail wagged among the covers.
Sherry frowned; Vanessa up already? What was the world coming to?
For a good ten, furtive minutes she looked around for — well, what she was looking for she didn’t exactly know, and was a little afraid to find out. A stash of sex toys, perhaps. Or just anything that might have a couple of damned C batteries. Under the bed was too obvious but she looked there first anyway. Shoes and dust bunnies. Actually, she thought if her daughter did have a dildo around she wouldn’t take the trouble to hide it — knowing Vanessa she’d walk around the house using it, in front of the men.
While she searched she thought more about all those men, all those ready cocks. Yes, she wasn’t sure why having more than one man at a time sounded good to her all of the sudden, after a lifetime of simple monogamy. After all, she had balked at Vanessa’s suggestion to take a lover the other night. Ah, but “taking a lover” seemed like infidelity — that’s what her dear flawed husband had done. Whereas entertaining a handful of guys just seemed like fun — not love or intimacy, just sex. Maybe five or six cocks to play with would actually be “enough” for her.
Maybe, she wondered as she gave up her fruitless search, she was becoming addicted to cock?
The chance to find out would be nice, she thought wryly.
Well, to erotic sensations in general, then. After all, hadn’t she revealed an addictive personality these days? Hadn’t Neal been about to tell her so, only yesterday?
Sherry shook her head in resignation and returned to her own room. She swallowed her last Valium whole, found her slippers and headed downstairs, amazed that her daughter should be up and about on such a cold morning, further amazed that little Miss Sex Kitten did not appear to have brought with her a dildo of her own.
***
“Can we make dirty words?” asked Josh, peering across the kitchen table.
Neal had been about to say no, but Sherry had already replied “Sure — knock yourself out.” Her voice slurred a little; he wondered just what she was buzzing on now, at four in the afternoon.
His son laughed triumphantly, setting out his tiles on the board to spell BLOWJOB.
“Oh, leave it to you, Josh,” Nessa groaned.
“There! Used my J on the double letter square, that’s . . . forty-seven points!”
“Well done, kiddo,” said Sherry, patting her perverted son’s hand. “Your turn, dear.”
Neal frowned at the acid tone and stared at his letters some more: S, E, T, I, K, N, and C.
NECKSIT? SICKTEN? Yeah, those were helpful. God, he hated Scrabble.
While the letters buzzed through his head like angry wasps, he thought over the morning — how he’d fairly leapt out bed at seven in case Sherry should come down early. Nessa had been all twisted up in the blankets, breathing silently, looking even prettier. He had stepped away from her slumbering form to move straight into the bathroom, where he peed and immediately jerked himself off. He came so hard he had to wipe off the toilet seat. But it was best to get it out of his system after the long night of lust.
SECTION, perhaps. No, the board was too full to build it off any of the O’s.
He felt tired and haggard now, and had agreed to play because it was the only thing to do in the house’s one warm room. He also felt guilty for that one quick feel of his daughter’s chest. She had obviously felt nothing — she was all smiles and hugs today, maddeningly enough.
Apart from that one moment of weakness, he reasoned, he really had no cause for guilt. She had only come down to get warm, surely.
Yes, surely . . . but if he there was nothing wrong with them sharing a bed, why had he jumped out of it so fast in the morning? Why had he been so afraid his wife would see them? Neal couldn’t answer that, except to attribute his reaction to his own guilty conscience. He was getting fed up with guilt. There was only so much of it a man could take.
“Any time, Neal,” said Sherry across the table.
“All right, all right.”
He gave up thinking and spelled out INSECT on a free N. A lousy nine points.
“No, Daddy,” said Nessa, leaning over his tiles so he could see right down her shirt — those fat, tempting globes, hanging free. “You wanna swap these around — get the C on the double letter square –”
Neal watched helplessly, then turned cherry red when he saw what she had done.
INCEST.
“Uh . . . thanks, hon,” he croaked.
“Wow, cool!” his idiot son laughed. “Blowjob, Incest — this game is getting dirty!”
Neal stared at the word as Sherry took her turn, either failing to notice his discomfort or too stoned to care. When he could meet her eyes, he looked across at Nessa. She was smiling merrily, eyes bright.
***
When he felt his balls begin to tingle, that familiar tightness setting in that told him he was close, Josh decided to surprise her with a little payback. Yes, she was already on her knees in a cold barn, sucking his cock, her warm breath bathing his belly while her cold fingers held onto his bare ass. But that wasn’t enough mastery for him. He wanted to let her know that he was onto her, and that he didn’t necessarily approve.
So when he felt himself on edge, when his sister’s fast-working mouth took him right to the limit, he pulled himself out and shot his pent up load directly into her face. As the hot jets of sperm gushed over her nose and cheeks and flew into her hair, Vanessa held up her hands in surprise and scooted away — but not before he had painted some nice thick swathes over her face.
“Josh — you — fucker!” she cried, wiping away his goo with her hand, making even more of a mess. “What the fuck did you do that for, you asshole?”
“Ahh! — do what?”
“Don’t do what me, you stupid jerk! I can’t go back in like this!”
“Wipe it on your coat.”
“I’m not gonna wipe it on — oh you bastard. You bastard, it’s already on my coat!”
He laughed. “I thought you liked it.”
“I don’t want your fucking cum on my coat, you ass!”
“Here,” he said, relenting a little, and offering her the inside of his flannel. “There — that’s not so bad. They won’t notice it.”
“Oh, you’re such a shit. I was gonna swallow it — why can’t you let me swallow it, dumbass? Half the men in America would love for a girl to swallow their cum!”