Damon’s [POV]
We walk in silence for ten minutes before she finally breaks it. “Where are we going?”
“There’s a planetarium a few blocks away. We’re almost there.”
“Are we trespassing?” she asks, worry coloring her voice. My heart sinks. The fact that Dani even has to ask this is the last straw. They’re all right: her parents, my asshole father. They’re wrong in a million other things, but not about this: I am not right for her.
“No.”
“I haven’t been to this planetarium in a few years, but I’m pretty sure it’s not open at three o’clock in the morning.”
I take the flier out of my pocket, showing it to her. “It is today. Special night.”
“Okay.”
I can tell by her wide eyes that she’s still waiting for me to explain my behavior. Like the coward I am, I can’t find the words to do so. She’ll figure it out on her own… I hope.
When we arrive at the planetarium, the man at the reception gives me a skeptical once-over, then ogles Dani’s dress.
“What’s this, Lady and the Tramp?” I’d punch him if his comment wasn’t so ironically spot on. “We’re closing.”
“On the flier, it says it’s open for another hour,” I counter.
“I’m closing early. Management thought this would be a brilliant idea. It’s been a bust. No one’s shown up after twelve o’clock.”
“Great. Then we’ll have the place to ourselves.”
“I didn’t say you could go in.” He slams his fist on his desk, looking at us angrily.
“What will management say when they hear you’ve turned down your only customers?”
That shuts him up, and Dani and I go up the stairs, following
the signs. I expected to watch stars or some similar shit, but instead, we end up in a room that looks like a movie theater. It becomes dark when we sit down, and images of constellations are projected on the screen, while a voice plays in the speakers, explaining what we’re seeing. It’s only when I look sideways at Dani that I realize this sends the wrong message. Looking at stars, even fake ones, is something romantic. I’m about to break her heart.
“This is so cool.” Excitement laces her voice. I’m doing this all wrong. I should just tell her. But then a new constellation is projected, and I can’t bring myself to spoil the moment. I almost forget what tonight is about when the voice mentions Canada. It’s like someone dropped a bucket of ice on my head.
“Canada,” I whisper, almost hoping she won’t hear me. She does, though; I can tell by the tiny quiver in her fingers, like she knows what I’m about to say. My fingers burn with the need to touch and soothe her, but I can’t. If I do, I won’t have the strength to tell her, let alone get on that plane tomorrow. “That’s where I’m going.” I don’t look at her as I spell out the words, but I hear her harsh intake of air. It cuts through me like a knife.
“You’re leaving,” she says. I feel her looking at me, and I can’t bring myself to turn toward her. I keep looking up as if the damned sky is the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
“My father enrolled me in a boarding school.”
“Starting when?”
“Monday.”
She chokes out the next word. “No.”
“He told me yesterday.” I grab her hand gently, rubbing the soft skin of her inner wrist with my thumb. She’s shaking badly.
“Your dad couldn’t have arranged this so quickly.”
“He planned it before.”
“Maybe we can talk him into changing his mind.” Her eyes are brimming with a tiny bit of hope. I can’t stand taking that away from her.
“Trust me; there is no talking him out of anything.”
“Let’s run away.” Her words are like a punch in my gut. They physically hurt.
“No, Dani. That’s not what I want for you. You have everything mapped out. You will graduate and go to college in England. I won’t take that away from you.” For a split-second, I think she’ll burst into tears. Her eyes are all glassy, and she’s holding her breath. Dani surprises me like she always does. She doesn’t cry.
“Okay, well, that’s not so bad, really. There are just three months of school left. You can come to England as soon as you graduate. I’ll wait.”
“You deserve someone you don’t have to wait for. A guy who doesn’t fight, who doesn’t get busted by the police. You could’ve gotten hurt on Thursday.”
The voice in the speaker booms louder, startling both of us, but we don’t pay any attention to what it says.
“You want to leave.” Her voice shakes.
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “I’m just not sure about anything anymore.”
“Not even about me?”
“I love you, Dani.” Gripping her shoulders, I turn her until we’re facing each other. “I am sure of my feelings for you, but not about anything else.” She means everything to me; she must know that.
“What happened on Thursday-”
“Is a prime example why good girls shouldn’t fall for bad boys. I’m not the guy for you, Dani. Not now, anyway. Maybe someday, when I get my shit together, I will be.”
“Damon…”
I kiss her more forcefully than I ever have. I know it’s one of the last times I’ll get to, so I make it count. Tears stream down her face, making me hate myself for it.
“Stay, please,” she murmurs when I pull myself back.
“I can’t. My plane leaves tomorrow at noon.”
“If you can’t stay, then promise me you’ll return as soon as school finishes.”
She’s shaking badly, so I pull her tight in my arms, inhaling the scent of strawberry coming from her hair.
“I promise I will return when I’m able to love you the way you deserve,” I say.
“I just want you to promise me you’ll come back.”
“Only after I get my shit together.”
Pulling away from my arms, she says, “I don’t want-”
“Just let me finish, okay?” My voice is undependable, but this is it. If I don’t say this now, I won’t say it at all. I’ve thought about this since he told me he’s sending me away, repeating the words over and over in my head. “When I met you, I was on a cliff, Dani. Thanks to you, I didn’t fall over the edge, and I’ll never be able to repay you for that. I’m grateful to you, and I love you, but I need to figure everything out on my own.”
There was more I wanted to say, but I can’t bring myself to, not when she looks at me with wide, fearful eyes, begging me to stop. I kiss her again, and in this kiss, I try to put everything I can’t say, because we’ll both break. This girl did more for me than she’ll ever know. She saved me, and I don’t want to repay her by ruining her life. I make myself the promise to return for her. I know this isn’t a high school crush, because I’ve had enough of those. This is different, stronger; I’d bleed for this girl.
“Your hour’s up. Out.”
The idiot’s voice forces us apart, and Dani discreetly wipes her tears away. We walk back to her house in silence, our fingers intertwined. When we reach the gates, I fully intend to kiss her one last time and leave.
Then she says, “Spend the night with me,” and I know I will.