There is nothing except the cold air filling my lungs… my mind… everything… in the free fall. My body is as light as a feather, as quick as a bullet. I hurtle down fast, fast, fast, the clouds appearing in a swirl around me, then disappearing again. A violent pull ends the incredible velocity and starts a smooth descent-James opened the parachute. I gasp involuntarily, as I take my first deep breath.
“You okay?” he screams in my ear.
“Never better,” I scream back, my heart still racing so frantically I’m afraid it might jump out of my chest. A twinge of regret weasels itself in-I liked the speed. A lot. But its absence has perks, like being able to finally take in the beauty around me. And it’s breathtaking, all of it: the white, porous, unevenly shaped clouds floating around, the unending ocean and the red sun, preparing to sink in the blue waters in the distance, and even the mundane world below us-the highways and the golf club-looks almost perfect from here.
Parker, Thomas, and Ralph float around us, the girls higher. As we descend lower and lower, I find myself wishing we could go even slower.
But we don’t, and we land faster than I’d hoped we would, in a rather large patch of sunburned grass right next to the airport. James undoes the connecting belts and straps almost immediately. The first few steps on the solid ground still feel like I’m floating.
“How was it?” James calls. He frees himself from the parachute and unzips his suit a little. We both throw down our helmets at the same time. The conceited smile on his face has an ecstatic air that I know must be apparent on my face as well.
“I loved it,” I cry, unable to refrain myself from jumping up and down. “Can we go again?”
“Not today,” he says, grinning widely. “It’s really dangerous for you to try out new things. You always want more, don’t you?”
I blush violently because I know he’s not referring only to skydiving.
“Only if it’s good,” I answer and he bursts out laughing.
He grabs both my hands and pulls me into an embrace. “I was under the impression you found last Saturday more than good.”
He entangles his fingers in my hair and pushes me against him for the first real kiss today. Passionate, fierce, almost desperate. It leaves me breathless and wanting more, cursing the suits and where we are.
“You’re a wild little beast,” he whispers, biting my lip.
Wild. Maybe.
Reckless. Yes.
That’s how I behaved last Saturday and how I am behaving now. It’s not the behavior itself that scares me. The fact that I chose to act this way scares me. I wanted to be reckless. And as I look into his eyes, and feel his hot breath on my lips, every inch of my body tells me that I don’t want to stop being reckless.
I shiver at the dark thought creeping into my mind: Kate was reckless. How did it all start for her? A one-night stand, a jump from a plane? I can’t remember right now. I don’t want to remember. I press my lips to his again, losing myself in his passion-the raging fire that wipes away every thought.
And every wisp of breath.
“Damn. If all people would skydive, Pfizer would make no money on Viagra,” Christie calls, and we break off.
We turn toward her, and all the others grouped around her, in various stages of removing their equipment-as if nothing happened.
“We voted earlier and unanimously decided we want to go to the Chinese restaurant downtown,” Christie announces pompously.
“I’m with you if you want steak though, mate,” Thomas says and Christie throws him a look that screams traitor.
“We won’t be joining you.” James puts an arm around my waist and kisses my temple. “I promised Serena there would be just the two of us the rest of the evening.”
I flush so violently I think steam might come off my face any second. No one seems to share my embarrassment. Natalie rolls her eyes, and Thomas looks disappointed to have lost any chance of getting a steak tonight.
“Can we please go change?” Angela complains, her torso already half out of her suit.
The airport’s restroom is minuscule, like the rest of the building, and not particularly suited for freshening up. But once out of my suit, I hurry and splash water on my face and neck at one of the three sinks, wondering why I hadn’t thought of bringing anything more than a brush with me. At least I brought this with me, because my hair looks like I’ve been in a tornado. A few strokes later, I realize it will probably keep this look until I wash it. I sigh and stuff the brush back in my bag.
The door cracks open and a look in the mirror tells me Natalie has joined me. She doesn’t acknowledge my presence and I follow suit, taking longer than necessary to search for the necklace in my bag. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her getting her entire makeup arsenal and carefully arranging everything on her sink. She’s so much more prepared for this than I am.
“Don’t fall in love with him,” she says and I freeze in the act of pulling my necklace from the pocket I knew it was in all along.
“I’m sorry?” I put on my necklace with trembling fingers.
“He can make you feel like you’re the center of his world for one day and walk out on you the next.”
My head snaps up. She’s watching me in the mirror, a look of superiority obvious in every pore of her face.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say coldly.
“Oh, don’t take it like that. I’ve known him for a long time. You barely met him. You’re not even one of us.” She pauses, watching me with large, expectant eyes, no doubt hoping I’ll start a scene. I’m determined not to give her that satisfaction. “You seem like such a lovely girl, one who doesn’t deserve to get hurt,” she adds with disappointment, applying her mascara.
“Thanks for the advice,” I say, fighting to keep my voice even.
“Why don’t you keep the advice to yourself, Natalie?” Christie says from the doorway. I can’t tell how long she’s been there, but obviously long enough. “I’m pretty sure Serena can take care of herself.”
I seize this moment to leave. Christie follows me and I don’t intend to stop before reaching Angela and the guys, who are on the other side of the entrance door, chatting animatedly, when she says, “Don’t pay attention to Natalie, okay? No one can spread venom better than her.” She shakes her head.
“Was she lying?” I ask, stopping in my tracks. Deep down I know she wasn’t. Isn’t that exactly how it happened? One night of unrequited attention to me, in which he completely ignored the party even though he was one of the hosts. And then one week of silence, which might have turned into forever had I not called.
Christie hesitates for a second before answering, “I wouldn’t know from personal experience.” She starts laughing at my sigh of relief, but resumes a serious demeanor when she adds, “From what I’ve heard, she wasn’t lying. But this doesn’t mean he can’t change.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I say quickly, wishing to cut this embarrassing conversation short. “It’s just a bit of fun.”
She raises an eyebrow.
“For both of us,” I add and exit the small building, joining the group.
“I’m in the mood for a spontaneous trip to Malaysia,” Ralph says. “Who’s in?” He looks hopefully at the others.
James shakes his head. “Leave me out. I don’t have time to join you.”
He smiles when he sees me, and as he puts his arm over my shoulder, I can’t help wondering what it would take for Christie’s words to come true and how many women have tried-and failed-to change James. A lot, probably. There’s no reason to believe I could succeed. And then the nagging thought comes back: I am the first one he brought with him, after all.
“Neither will I,” snaps Christie, jiggling her foot. “You could show some consideration for the others when planning such trips, Ralph. Not all of us are still living off our trust fund at twenty-eight.”
Ah, yes. One of the things that will ensure I’ll never be one of them. I finance my life at Stanford through scholarships and bookkeeping, not a trust fund. I take an involuntary look at Natalie, who just came out of the building. The look of superiority on her face hasn’t faded one bit.
“That’s your own fault,” Ralph says. “I plan to enjoy the good life while it lasts.”
He grabs Angela and Natalie by the waist. “What do you two dolls say about Malaysia next week?”
“Thomas, you in?” Angela asks.
“Of course.”
“Parker?” the lark asks. Her lack of surprise at Ralph’s words makes me wonder how often they go on such spontaneous trips around the world.
“He’s part of the responsible group,” Ralph says mockingly.
Parker chooses to ignore him and answers courteously, “Some other time, Natalie.”
“Ah, I’ll give Dylan and Simon a call. It’ll be like a college reunion,” Ralph screeches, kissing both Angela and Natalie on the cheek.
“So you all met at Stanford?” I ask.
“Minus Parker,” Thomas retorts, a dreamy look starting to contour on his face. “Four insane years.”
“I’ve known James and Parker since boarding school,” Natalie says proudly.
It’s as if someone dropped an ice cube on James’s spine. His arm on my shoulder turns rigid. No, his whole body stiffens and his gaze, fixed on her, has a glacial coldness to it. No one else reacts to her statement in any way, except Parker, who shoots Natalie a warning look.
“Serena and I will be going,” James announces and after hurried goodbyes, in which Christie gives me a thumbs up, and Parker makes me promise that we’ll meet up before he returns to London. Natalie ignores me as fully as I ignore her, listening to Ralph go on and on about Malaysia, and we head to the Porsche.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I say when we’re both in the car. “I wouldn’t have minded going out with them.”
“I thought you’d be more comfortable if it’s just the two of us,” he says, driving out of the parking lot.
I stare at him, unsure what to make of this. Was the animosity between Natalie and me so obvious? Or did he anticipate all the trust fund and expensive trip talk would be awkward for me to listen to? Probably the latter. He, like Natalie, must be aware that I’m not one of them.
For a fraction of a second I think about asking him what the deal with the boarding school was, but a glance at his still rigid fingers clasping the wheel tells me it isn’t the best topic for conversation.
“So what now?” I ask playfully.
“Are you hungry?”
“Nope. Jess stuffed me with her famous paella earlier.”
“Pity,” he says, the corner of his mouth lifting to form his trademark smile. His grasp on the wheel is less stiff. “I know a place in San Jose with the best chocolate fondue on the west coast.”
“Chocolate fondue?” I squeak. “Really?” I blush as I realize he hasn’t forgotten my little fondue story. Saturday night, he noticed a dark spot the size of a half dollar on my left thigh, a souvenir from a burn I got during one of my very few attempts at cooking: chocolate fondue. I read fourteen different recipes in preparation, and all I managed to come up with was a hard, grainy mess no one could look at, let alone eat. I kept to my truce with Jess ever since: she cooks, I clean.
Seeing what we were up to before and after this conversation, I’m amazed James remembered any of it.
He smirks. “Should I take that as a yes?”
“You’d better.” I grin.
We take the highway to San Jose, leaving behind the ocean and the sunset. I peek out the window, to see if I recognize anyone from the group behind the wheel of the cars we pass, but his speeding makes my task impossible. It also shortens our journey from the normal twenty minutes to twelve.
“Speed limits aren’t your thing, huh?” I ask, clutching the edges of my seat, because he doesn’t show any signs of slowing down even after we enter the city.
“Sorry,” he says and hits the brakes so ferociously I’m positive I would’ve flown through the windshield if not for the seatbelt, which cuts deeply into my skin.
“Damn it, James,” I cry.
He turns to me. “Are you all right?”
“Except for a near heart attack, yes.”
“I got lost in thoughts, I-”
“I’m fine,” I interrupt, startled by the desperation in his gaze and voice. “We should get going. There’s a line behind us.”
We start again, this time at an almost embarrassingly slow speed.
“We don’t have to let the slugs overcome us,” I say.