ENZO DE-LUCA.
My eyes darted to my wristwatch and I sighed when I realized that we were already about two hours late to our reservation but I didn’t care.
I wanted to spend the night with her doing something that doesn’t really involved fucking her and although I knew just how hard it would be, I knew I had to hold back.
“I had about three places reserved for us but we’ve missed the first two, should we just go to the next one instead?” I asked as I got into the car with her.
Maeve winced, she wasn’t really comfortable and I could tell that her pussy was already spurting out a mixture of our juices and it would definitely leave a big stain later.
“Hmm Hmm.” She nodded, unable to speak as she took a deep breath and with one hand on her lap, I drove out of the building and directly to the beach restaurant I’d booked.
It was the most romantic place out of all the three places I booked. I wanted to show and let her know that I was in this with her.
I wanted to do something to assure her that she would never have to be alone anymore and even though I’m a fool that doesn’t know how to maintain a relationship, I’m willing to navigate through it with her.
The thought of it made my heart race and I have never been worried about anything in my life as much as I was worried about this. Tons of questions ran through my mind and it was impossible to steady my pulse that had gone berserk.
What if she doesn’t like it? What if she was expecting something more and I delivered something way below par?
I shook the thought out of my head because I knew that Maeve isn’t like that, she would appreciate even the tiniest gesture.
“You don’t have to be so anxious,” her voice jolted me out of my thoughts and it wasn’t until then that I realized that I let my emotions show on my face.
It’s been a while since I’ve done that.
“Your palm is sweaty and your brows are furrowed,” she laughed while I tried to calm my racing heart, “I don’t know what you have planned but I already know I’m going to love it.” She smiled.
Her eyes held mine and I could tell that she was really taking my facial features in from my peripheral vision, if only I wasn’t driving, I would have given her more to look at.
“Because I love you.” She finished and I could swear that my heart literally jumped right out of my chest because I abruptly stepped on the brake as I pulled my hand away from hers so that I could grip the steering wheel with both hands.
What is wrong with me? I knew about her feelings for me before now, she’s told me about it before now, then why? Why does it feel like I’m floating?
My head felt hazy and for a moment I felt so hot from within me that I had to loosen my tie and turn the AC up before I died of happiness.
I don’t deserve this, I genuinely do not deserve her but yet, I have her. She wants me and me alone. The thought alone was enough to give me a heart attack.
“Stop saying things like that,” I said firmly as I hit the road again, “especially not when I’m driving.” I added, my gaze fixed on the road but Maeve only laughed heartily.
The sound was like music to my ears and just catching a glimpse of her was enough to add a thousand more colors to my world and my heart tightened.
I really cannot live without her. She’s my whole world.
“Are you blushing?”
“I’m not, why would I? I’m a man. Men don’t blush.”
“You say that but your face is all red, even your ears! I can’t believe I got that out of you with just a few words.” She said amidst laughter, “you must really love me.”
My mouth opened and I wanted to agree with her because I do. I do love her so much that imagining my life without her makes me want to kill myself.
“We’re here.” I announced when we got to our destination and as I helped Maeve out of the car, her mouth opened, her eyes widened and her pupils dilated.
I expected her to say something about this, about my tacky choices but she only smiled as she took her shoes off and ran towards the beach.
Seeing her like this, happy, at peace with the evening breeze blowing her hair and dress was just what I needed. It was all I needed to know that my being alive was for a reason.
“I LOVE IT!” She yelled, the sound of the ocean carrying her voice so far that it echoed and came back to us and I was glad.
I was incredibly happy that I had this planned and smiling to myself, I made a vow to myself right there and then, a vow I hope to never forget or break.
“I’m glad you do.” I smiled as I walked towards and pulled her into me so that I could smell her and kiss her forehead.
Closing my eyes, I took the entirety of her scent in and I didn’t want to breathe out. I didn’t even want to open my eyes for fear of her disappearing even though I knew she couldn’t.
The sound of her stomach growling forced me to open my eyes and pull away from her as I held her hand, “you’re hungry,” I laughed, “you deserve to be after all that work out, let’s eat.” I finished.
I pulled the chair out for her and made sure she was comfortably seated before I joined in and while she ate, the guys I’d hired all came out to play a little note.
Maeve seemed to enjoy it, the song, the ambience, she was enjoying everything while I just sat there and pondered on how much of a lucky bastard I am.
She soon finished eating and we slow danced to the violin playing. I felt like I was in heaven but it all had to come to an end.
The restaurant packed up and Maeve and I were both left on the beach, holding hands and walking along the bank of the ocean.
Everything just seemed to flow naturally as we talked about the things we were comfortable talking about, I made sure not to bring up her father and she avoided topics she knew I’d be uncomfortable talking about.
It was the best night ever.
“God, I didn’t know how to say it without sounding like a love struck high schooler but no matter how you look at it, I am love struck…” I paused to draw in a breath.
“I had a whole speech planned, I swear, I wanted to recite a little poem for you but after watching you eat, dancing with you and walking hand in hand with you like this, I completely forgot everything so I’m just going to say it however.”
Maeve was standing in front of me with her head up and her cheeks were flushed. I really had those things planned but my memory has been messing with me lately.
I only remember things about Maeve and the times we shared. I’d somehow written something with help, of course but I can’t even remember a single one.
Taking in a deep breath, I opened my mouth and the words just started falling right out, “you think I don’t feel anything, don’t you? I’m just some heartless bastard.” I started, my voice lower than I intended for it to be as my eyes bore into hers.
“I mean, you called me a murderer, you’ve called me an animal and a devil, I mean, you’ve always thought I was incapable of having any kind of feelings, hell, even I had always thought so too.” I swallowed.
My voice was ragged with the weight of restraint and my jaw clenched as my hand balled into a fist at my side as I stared into her beautiful brown eyes.
“I mean, you were right. I always told myself that you were nothing but collateral, I always told myself that the only thing I wanted from you was your body but boy was I wrong.”
“I have never been more wrong about anything in my life like I was about how I felt for you,” I chuckled dryly, “I tried to throttle it, I swear, I tried so hard to not drag you into my world, I wanted to let you go but I couldn’t.”
“Because, every damn night, I hear your voice in my head and it haunts me. Every time you smile, especially at me, it feels like an extremely hot, sharp knife to the chest because I know that I do not deserve it.” I paused.
Her eyes were glistening and her lips thinned, it was almost as though she was trying her possible best to not cry and the sight just made it impossible for me to hold myself back.
I reached out, brushing her cheeks as carefully as I could as if she was made of fragile glass and any slight pressure would cause her to break.
“I built walls so fucking high that no one could ever climb them. I killed the part of me that could love….. again, because love in my world is a weakness, one that gets people killed.” I paused.
My fingertips were trembling and my breathing got heavier than even I could control as my eyes searched hers as if they held the answers to a question I couldn’t ask.
“But you, Maeve Hawthorn, you broke through everything. I thought you’d give up and damn it all and leave but you haven’t done any of that,” I laughed a little bitterly.
“Each time I showed up broken at your doorstep, you were ready to fix me. I didn’t think I could ever have something to look forward to but I look forward to hearing your voice, seeing your smile and seeing you.”
“And now….. right now, I’m standing in front of you, terrified out of my goddamn mind because I’d burn not just this empire but this whole world and everyone and everything in it to the ground if it meant keeping you safe.”
I didn’t have control of myself anymore, I was trembling so much that I thought I was going to collapse on her but I didn’t and she just stood there, eyes on me, lips parted as I leaned closer, my lips hovering just inches from hers.
“I don’t know how to love the right way, I’m not even sure if I can ever love you the right way but if you let me……..” I took her lips in mine, kissing them softly before pulling back a little.
“If you’d be willing to give this fool his thousandth chance, I’ll try. For you, Little Flame, I’ll try my hardest.”