“Does she like meatloaf? I’ve got one in the crockpot as we speak. I was going to have some for dinner and freeze the leftovers – but I’d rather share. Bring her for dinner.”
I texted Kasey, “Dinner (meatloaf and mashed potatoes) + cookie baking + Uno?”
“Sure!”
“5 o’clock?” I asked Grandma.
“That’ll be perfect, dear. I’ll boil some potatoes too, then. You like lots of butter, right?”
“Yes! Thanks, Grandma. See you in a while.”
“Love you, Reggie.”
“Love you, Grandma.”
I texted Kase, “I’ll pick you up at 4:15.”
“I’ll be ready. Casual?”
“I don’t know. I always just wear a shirt and shorts.”
“Love you.”
“Thanks for doing this.”
“Don’t be silly, silly. She sounds wonderful.”
A few hours later, I pulled into the driveway of #24 and waited.
In seconds, Kasey came bounding out and jumped in – sliding over next to me to snuggle close.
“Oh! Mom said to show you this ..”
She unlocked her phone to flash me a picture of her mom’s gorgeous globes – spectacularly naked – of course.
“She didn’t want to text – in case Grandma Williams is checking our phones somehow..”
“Tell her I think I see a cobweb or two but, otherwise, it looks okay.”
Kasey cackled and texted her mom – and then deleted the picture.
She howled even louder when her mom texted back – but she wouldn’t show me what she’d said.
I pulled up to grandma’s five minutes early and Kasey slid out with me, gave me a hug & kiss, and held my hand as we walked to the door.
Grandma already had it open for us.
“Reggie! You didn’t tell me she was beautiful!”
“I said she was pretty, when you asked.”
“Dear, she’s not pretty – she’s gorgeous!”
Turning to Kasey, opening her arms for a hug, she said, “Welcome, dear.”
“Hello, Mrs. Mitchell. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Fa! You call me ‘Grandma’ or I’ll find a switch – and use it on this no good husband of yours.”
Kasey laughed, “Okay, Grandma.”
Grandma leaned in, conspiratorially, and admitted, “I’m all bark, dear. I never even used a switch on his father. He turned out okay – except that he never comes to visit.”
Kasey giggled.
Wrapping an arm around my fiance, she steered her to the kitchen – where she had the four-person table set for three.
We all ate more than we should have – and then we baked chocolate chip cookies – two whole trays!
We played Uno – while spoiling ourselves on ice-cold milk – and cookies that were still warm enough to fold over like Salvador Dali clocks.
I lost every game. Grandma and Kasey were pretty competitive; I just played for fun.
Most of the night was filled with questions, advice, and happy stories – but there was about fifteen minutes where my bride-to-be laughed so hard that she’d fallen off of her chair and laid on the kitchen floor – holding her sides.
When Grandma found out who Kasey’s grandmother was – and we’d told her a couple stories – Grandma Mitchell informed us that Kasey’s grandmother had been a bitter hag since birth and that – “If she hadn’t spent half of her time in high school – trying to shove larger and larger items up her twat – she probably could’ve found a better husband than Harold Williams – who had a fondness for trying to get girls to let him fuck them in the ass with his donkey dick.”
After letting that slip, Grandma had blushed, crimson, and refused to talk about either of them anymore – so we’d gone back to playing Uno and enjoying her treats & company.
By the time we headed home, Grandma had given us a sheet of paper with all of the names we’d come up with for the invitation list, a dozen sandwich-sized Ziplocs – with four cookies each – to be handed out like Christmas gifts – and all the kisses & hugs we could handle.
Kasey was enamored with Grandma – and my dad’s mom seemed to be pretty darned happy with my choice of marriage partners.
She assured us she wouldn’t miss the wedding for the world.
Back at #24, I walked my fiance to the door – where my mother-in-law mewled until I leaned inside the doorway, gave her kisses – and briefly groped her cleavage – before kissing my bride-to-be good-night.
Kasey texted me a picture of the invite-list as I drove home. I had more people to call or text than I had expected. For a ceremony with just family, this was turning into more than I’d bargained for.
Monday morning, I started through my list – beginning with Nick & Paul.
Paul was a PC nerd who’d been one of the few to act like he’d enjoyed working the concession stand when the Computer Club had to take a turn. I thought he might be a good fit for Cindy. He was geeky – but practical and down-to-earth.
Several hours later, my list was done – once I’d finished answering the phone calls and texts that resulted from sending, “Hey! I’m getting married two weeks from Saturday.”
I dumped out my pants pockets – to do laundry – and found the police officer’s business card. I sent him the location and time for the wedding, along with my name.
Ten minutes later, he replied, “Just to let you know, the computer recorded the caller-ID of your antagonistic in-law’s cellphone for that tip the other day. I added a note to my report.”