Forty minutes later we sat on the couch in the living room area with the food we had ordered, Aria in one of my white shirts and me only in gray sweatpants and a shirt. I opened the boxes and put a small pile of dumplings on Aria’s plate . “Would you like a bite of my ossobuco?”
She looked at the meat, then quickly shook her head. “I don’t think I can eat it.”
I handed her the plate and she took it and settled against the sofa, her bare legs pulled under her body. She sniffed the food hesitantly. Looking at her, I sank my hand into my plate.
Aria took her fork and took a bite of her dumplings, then smiled. “Looks good.”
I was finished with my main course, the focaccia and tapenade before Aria had even eaten half her plate, and the box was still half full of gnocchi. Feeling my gaze on her, she looked up. “You don’t have to look at me. I can eat.”
She smiled to soften her words.
“Not enough,” I said. I stroked her knee. “Come on, princess. Don’t make me stuff you.”
She sighed. “I’m afraid I’ll get sick if I eat too fast.”
“Maybe you should stop worrying.” I paused.
“Was the doctor right? Did you feel sick because of our fight?”
Aria swallowed another bite before setting the plate down on her lap. “I don’t know. Maybe? You are the most important person in my life. You are the father of our child, and I couldn’t confide in you for so long. It hurt me, more hurt than anything else.”
“Fuck,” I muttered. Remorse was still a strange feeling, unknown to my body.
“It was my fault too, Luca. I should have understood how you would tease me to go to Chicago without your permission. Like you said, I know what kind of man you are.”
“A possessive, controlling asshole?” And that wasn’t even the worst of my character traits, but Aria knew and knew and loved me in spite of everything.
“Yes,” she said with a small smile. “And the man I love with all my heart.” She touched the spot above my heart.
“Mine.”
“Only yours. Always.”
He brought another mouthful of dumplings to his lips and ate it.
His voice became very soft when he spoke again. “Have you ever wavered?”
“Veluso?”
“Grace. Or other women.”
His shoulders were tense.
“No,” I said firmly. “All I could think about was your smile.”
And that was the fucking truth. I was completely exhausted when it came to Aria.
“What about you?” I couldn’t keep the growl from my voice.
Aria threw her head back and laughed her bell-like laugh. She took another bite and then filled her plate with the rest of her course. “I wouldn’t even know how to flirt with a man, Luca. You are the only man I can imagine being close to . It’s as if your possessiveness has flipped a switch in my brain and made me unable to tolerate the closeness of any other man .”
I smiled and Aria huffed. She took another bite. I had to stifle a smile. She didn’t even notice how much she was eating.
I reached for the remote control and turned on the stereo. Soft music began to play from the speakers, then a deep male voice began to sing. Aria’s eyes flashed with recognition; it was her favorite Rag’n’Bone Man album. She smiled, that fucking slow, perfect smile taking over her gorgeous face. How had I managed to go eight weeks without ? Without her?
She set her plate down, looked at me, the seriousness erasing her smile. “Promise me we’ll never fight again for so long. I don’t think I could survive it again.”
I opened my arms and she climbed into my lap, wrapping my neck in a tight embrace. “I promise, and you promise never to go behind my back again, no matter what it is. Going to Chicago alone was suicide.”
“I know,” she said softly. “It was because of Fabi.
She called me the night you left for New York.”
It was a betrayal. If Dante had found out, he would have had to kill Fabi.
Aria’s voice trembled as she continued, “My father is cruel to him. He is beating Fabi, and I am so worried that he will do worse. I wanted to help him. That’s all.”
I succeeded. Aria couldn’t hold back. But Fabi was an initiate.
He would experience, and do worse than a beating. ” Did you see that?”
He shook his head. “I let him down.”
“He would not have gone to New York with you. He is loyal to the Outfit.” Aria swallowed hard. I stroked her back, wanting to soothe her. She had been upset for too long.
“Fabi is strong. She will have no problem surviving in the Outfit .”
And if she wasn’t strong enough, I hoped Aria would never find out.
“Can’t there be peace again?” Aria pleaded with my eyes, but this was something I could not give her.
“As long as I am Chief, there will be no peace with Dante Cavallaro.” Not after the fucking photo incident.
“Dante didn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t.”
I felt tense, the old anger flaring up again, but I suppressed it.
“He is the Chief, and we are at war. The next time he puts his hands on you, he won’t let you go, trust me. You are the leverage he and the Outfit need against me. He’s as much at gunpoint as I am.” I did not say that he had been responsible for the pictures. It would have served no purpose other than to anger Aria even more, and in her state she needed no more stress than she had already suffered.
Concern flashed in her eyes. “Is your family still going against you? Gianna told me you killed one of your uncles the night you saw the pictures of me and Dante.”
“I did, I slit his throat in front of the Sub-Chief and the assembled Captains.” I didn’t say that I had also killed Ermano and Angelo, and the fucking bikers, and the Fucking Make-up Bastards who had gotten too close to our borders and got caught. I had sent them back to Dante in several packages. I had killed so many in the last few weeks.
Aria let out a slow breath. “And then you saw me with Dante.”
“I lost control, Aria. I lost fucking control.”
She kissed me. “How could you think I would cheat on you with Dante?”
I ran a hand over her smooth calf and Aria’s eyelashes fluttered. There were shadows under her eyes. I began to massage her calves, feeling her relax under my touch.
Then her eyes slowly opened. “Promise me that you will never beat our daughter. I know many men in our world think it is the ‘only way to discipline children.”
“Aria,” I said fiercely. “A lot of men in our world think a husband should discipline his wife the same way, and I’ve never raised a hand against you and I won’t. And I fucking swear by everything that matters to me in this world that I will never hurt our daughter.”
The sound of her cell phone made her jolt and she cast a glance toward the screen, which was resting on the table.
Gianna, of course.
Aria sighed, then picked up the phone and typed a quick reply before turning off the audio and putting it back on the table.
“What did you tell her?”
“That I’m in New York with you.”
“Is that all? You know she won’t stop bugging us until you tell her every little detail,” I murmured, leaning forward and running my lips over her delicate throat.
“I turned off the audio.”
“As if that would stop her,” I said, and as if on time my phone began to ring. “Matthew.” I didn’t even have to look at the screen. Gianna had probably ordered him to go check on his sister.
Aria shook her head with a sweet smile. “She’s worried about me. I’ve given her plenty of reasons to worry.”
And the fucking reason was me.
My phone did not stop ringing.
Aria leaned back to cast me a look. “They won’t give up.”
With a groan, I picked up my phone and answered Matteo’s call. “I’m busy,” I muttered.
“Busy in a good way or a bad way?” asked Matteo. I could hear Gianna’s high-pitched bickering in the background.
“I don’t know what you consider a good sense,” I said as I signaled Aria to lie down. She did so without hesitation and I began massaging her calves and feet. Her face softened even more, and my tar-black heart softened in turn at the sight.
“Luca,” Matteo said with a hint of tension in his voice.
Gianna must have been getting on his nerves the last few weeks. He was even more volatile than usual, but who was I to talk?
“Is Aria with you?”
“Yes,” I said, as I applied pressure to the sole of Aria’s foot with my thumb, eliciting a soft moan from her.
“For heaven’s sake, Luca, just tell me if she’s all right.”
“She’s fine, Matteo. She and I have figured things out.”
“Thank the fucking Lord.” Gianna spoke again in the background. “Let me talk to him,” Matteo said to her, then to me, “When are you coming back?”
“Tomorrow, but just to pick up a few things. Aria will stay in New York with me from now on.”
Aria looked at me then, and I could tell she was happy.
“Okay,” Matteo said slowly.
I hung up, fed up with Gianna’s voice in the background, wishing I could turn off the sound of my cell phone too, but as Chief it was a fucking no.
“Are you going to tell Matteo about the pregnancy?” asked Aria, biting her lip.
“Yes, tomorrow. I need his help to increase your protection.”
“Increase my protection?” asked Aria. I lifted one foot and kissed her ankle. “Oh yes,” I murmured.
Aria did not protest. She let out a yawn and smiled embarrassedly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well without you.”
“Neither did I,” I admitted. I had lost count of the number of times I woke up in the night, reached out my hand to her and got scared because she wasn’t there until I remembered why.
I got up from the couch and lifted Aria against my chest. She hugged my neck and pressed her cheek against my shoulder, letting go a small sigh.
“Let’s go to bed. You need to rest.”
I carried her up the stairs, through our bedroom and into the bathroom, laying her in front of the bathroom table.
She shook her head. “I’m pregnant, not immobile.”
My eyes shifted to the baby bump hidden under my T-shirt. I would stop at nothing to protect Aria and our daughter.
She looked at me and then nodded. “You will not give in on this issue.”
“I won’t.”
I helped her take off her shirt and she slipped a nightgown off her head, which showed a hint of a belly. That sight made me fucking happy, which surprised me. I had never thought about having children. It was an abstract concept.
As we got ready for bed, I couldn’t stop admiring her. She washed her face and stiffened for a moment before her fingers grasped the edge. I quickly grabbed her waist. “Air?”
“Stunned,” she said in an apologetic tone. I lifted her into my arms and carried her to our bed, where I laid her down and lay beside her, pulling her to me. She curled up against my body, her fingers clasped tightly to my biceps as if she was afraid I would leave if she let go of me. She kissed my chest before her eyes lifted to mine. I took her cheek and she turned that smile that warmed my cold heart every time.
She fell asleep after a couple of minutes that I was in my arms, but I stayed awake and listened to her rhythmic breathing for a long time, not because I couldn’t fall asleep, but because I didn’t want to. The feeling of Aria in my arms was the best. I carefully brought my hand down until it rested on Aria’s stomach. If I was still capable of that kind of thing, maybe that would have been the time I would have cried, but the last time that had happened was when I had seen my mother in her own blood after she cut her wrists, and it would not happen again. Yet my chest tightened with emotion.