Romero After Lily had given me that blowjob, I spent the next day thinking of nothing but returning the favor with my tongue. It was lucky that the mansion was not the most dangerous place, because my concentration was gone. I didn’t think I would be able to protect anyone well if someone attacked me.
My cock was so hard that it almost hurt as I waited in bed for Lily to arrive that night. When midnight came and she was still not there, I almost went looking for her . I couldn’t remember the last time I had been this excited.
When my door finally opened and Lily came in, I had to restrain myself from pushing her against the wall and burying myself inside her. That was the one thing I could not do.
Many boundaries had already been crossed, but that was where I had to draw the line.
Lily jumped into bed and kissed me enthusiastically. It seemed that I was not the only one waiting. “Gianna and Matteo were in the hallway, so I had to wait,” she said, her fingers already slipping under my shirt.
I loved her touch, but it was my turn. I grabbed her and turned her onto her back. She gasped in surprise. I slipped my hands into her waistband and slid her panties down her legs, then stopped. She was still new to Lily.
I could not treat her like the woman I had been with before. “Is this okay?”
She lifted her legs to help me pull the panties over her feet. She nodded quickly. There was only need in her eyes. I smiled . I positioned myself between her legs and a hint of embarrassment showed on her beautiful face, but I didn’t give her time to think about it. I lowered myself onto her stomach, spread her legs and gave her a long lick.
And boy, did it taste even better than I had imagined.
Liliana I had heard girls talk about boys giving her oral sex in school, but I had never been able to imagine what it would feel like to have someone’s mouth on me like that. Was it going to be weird? Wet? Disgusting? Embarrassing?
It was none of those things. It was incredibly wonderful. Or maybe it was just because Romero knew exactly what to do, how to nibble, suck, and lick until my fingers dug into the mattress because I couldn’t take the pleasure anymore. And it seemed to get better every time we did it. Weeks passed and each night Romero gave me pleasure with his mouth. He seemed to enjoy it as much as I enjoyed doing it.
Tonight, he was taking his time and I wasn’t going to rush him. It was too good. Romero’s beard scratched me slightly at times, which intensified the sensations even more. He lifted his head and I huffed in protest.
He chuckled but did not lower his mouth. “Tell me when you come, okay? I want to know.”
“Okay,” I said, then groaned when Romero closed his lips on my clit and continued where he left off.
I could feel myself getting closer. My thighs began to shake. “I’m coming,” I gasped, too caught up in my pleasure to be embarrassed by it.
Romero’s finger grazed my opening and then slid it inside. I arched off the mattress. There was a flicker of pain but for some reason it made me come even harder.
Finally I lay motionless on the bed, trying to catch my breath.
Romero let out a harsh sigh. “Damn. You’re so tight.”
I could not say anything in response, too overwhelmed by the feeling of him in me. He slowly moved his finger, stroking the inside of my walls, tripling the sensations in my body. He bent his finger and my hips lifted off the mattress as I gasped in surprise and another orgasm shook me. He pulled his finger out and put it in his mouth. I could only stare at him, strangely aroused by that sight.
Romero crawled toward me again.
A question burned in my mind. What if the brief pain meant that Romero had broken my hymen? It was ridiculous that I should even have to worry about such a thing.
Romero stroked my eyebrows. “Hey, did I hurt you?”
“No, I … I was just wondering if …” I felt embarrassed to express my concerns.
However, Romero seemed to put the pieces together herself . “You are afraid you are no longer a virgin because I put my finger inside you.” I could not decipher the ’emotion in his voice. Was he angry? Annoyed?
He grabbed the back of my neck. “I wouldn’t do that to you , Lily. I wouldn’t take your virginity without permission, and even so…” He shook his head. ” I shouldn’t even think about taking your virginity. But you don’t have to worry. My finger is not wide enough and I didn’t go deep enough to do any damage. You’re safe.”
“I wasn’t scared, just…” Yes, what? I was worried. There was no denying it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Romero. I wanted him. But it was a huge step, one I couldn’t go back on.
“All right. You should be afraid of that. Your life would be ruined if you lost your virginity before your wedding night,” he said in a strange tone. He wrapped his arms around me so that I could no longer look at his face. “I want you to be the one, you know?” I whispered in the dark.
“But I can’t do that,” Romero said, squeezing my arm with his fingers.
“Why not?”
“Lily,” Romero said almost angrily. “You know why not.
So far we’ve been lucky not to get caught. Your sisters and Luca are already suspects as it is. Right now we could still deny everything and no one would be able to prove otherwise, but if we slept together, then there would be proof.”
“Evidence?” I huffed. “We have no intention of committing a crime.”
“In our world it is. We don’t respect the rules of the outside world and you know it.”
“We only want to be together because we love each other . Is that so bad?” I shut my mouth tightly as I realized what I had said. I had practically put the words ” I love you” in Romero’s words when he had never said them.
I hadn’t either, but I knew I loved him. Did he love me too?
He had become still and for a moment had even stopped breathing altogether. “Fuck,” Romero whispered abruptly. He pressed a kiss to my temple. “It’s spinning out of control.”
“I meant it, Romero. I love you,” I said.
He remained silent. “You shouldn’t. We don’t have a future, Lily.”
My heart cringed at his words. I didn’t want to believe they were true. “You don’t.”
“You’re right,” Romero finally said. He kissed my temple again and then neither of us said anything.
*** My mother had died with longing in her eyes and regret on her lips. This was not how I wanted to end. I didn’t want to have a bunch of “what ifs” and “how it could have been” in my head during the last hours of my existence. I wanted to look back and not wonder how wonderful life could have been. I wanted Romero. I wanted Romero to be my first, I wanted to share everything with him. Right then, I wanted nothing more, and I knew that even if I regretted it, that regret would never be as heartbreaking as the one I would feel if I didn’t, the one where I would always wonder what it would be like to become one with the person I loved.
Sometimes you had to risk something to live, and Romero was a risk I was willing to take. He was all I could think about as I savored the last moments of my orgasm.
Romero climbed up my body and brushed a kiss across my lips. He was about to lie down beside me, as he always did after taking care of me, but I held on tightly behind him. “I don’t want to stop tonight.”
He became very still. His dark eyes traced every contour of my face as if hoping for a hint of regret somewhere, but I knew he would find none. I had spent too many nights longing, wondering, and wishing, and tonight I would finally get what I wanted. Of course, I needed Romero’s cooperation, but I had a feeling he would not refuse me. He was respectful and responsible, but he was also a man and he wanted me. I could see it in his eyes, and his erection pressed against my hip bone was also a good indicator. “Lily,” Romero croaked, then cleared his throat. I had to stifle a smile. “This is something that cannot be undone. Everything we’ve done so far is easy to hide, but beyond that point, there are ways to prove our … transgressions.” I laughed softly. “Transgressions?” I lifted my head and kissed him. “How can that be wrong?” Of course, I knew that Father and many other people in our world could have written a novel about all the ways, but I didn’t care. There was no part of me that thought what we were doing was wrong, and that was all that mattered. “We’ve already discussed this. I shouldn’t have to do this. For God’s sake, I promised Luca to protect you. How does ruining your life protect you?” “You’re not ruining my life. I want this, doesn’t that count for anything?” “Of course it does.” I pressed myself against him and grabbed his cock through his boxers. “I want you. Just you. I want you to be my first.” I wanted him to be my only one. “Don’t you want to be my first?” Romero emitted a laugh and kissed the corner of my mouth, then my cheek before his eyes burned into mine again.
“You know how much I want you. I can’t think of anything else.” I squeezed my fingers tighter around his erection. “I know.” He let out a sharp breath, then let out a soft laugh. “You have me in your hands in every possible way. This is not the way it’s supposed to be.”
I smiled. It felt good to know I had that kind of power over someone like Romero. But he had the same power over me and my heart. It was scary to know that someone else had the power to break your heart with just a few words. Love was scary. “I want you to be the one, Romero. I don’t want anyone else. Please.” He kissed me again, harder this time, and gently pushed my hand away. He was hot and hard, and I couldn’t wait to feel him inside me. “Are you sure?” he asked, but there was almost no vehemence behind the words. “Yes. I want you.” Romero nodded. Excitement and nervousness burst through my body. I almost expected him to be more contrary, but I was glad he had not tried to talk me out of it. Today I had finally become his. Romero , I should have been the voice of reason, the one who would protect Lily from herself and me, but I was not as strong as everyone thought. Luca believed in me, trusted my dedication and restraint. He did not know me well enough. Trust and desire filled Lily’s beautiful blue eyes. She desired me, and boy, did I desire her more than anything else. Every time I had finger-fucked her, I had imagined what it would be like to have my cock inside her, to feel her warm walls around me. I couldn’t deny her. Maybe if there had been a glimmer of doubt on her face, but there was none. I tasted her mouth once more. It was sweet, soft, and irresistible. Her fingers around my cock tightened and she moved her hips slightly, an invitation I understood all too well and wanted to accept. I pulled away from her lips. “Not yet.” “But,” she began. I slipped a hand between her legs and penetrated her with my middle finger. She let out a low sigh and opened up a little more for me. I loved how fucking responsive she was. Always so wet for me. There had been many moments in my life when I had felt powerful, but pleasuring Lily beat them all. She said nothing more, just closed her eyes and relaxed, trusting that I made her feel good. I kissed her breast, then nibbled her nipple as I slowly slipped my finger in and out. Her breathing quickened but I kept a steady pace. I moved lower and positioned myself between her thighs.
I let go of the sight of my finger as it entered her perfect pink cunt. Everything about her was beautiful. I leaned forward, unable to resist a moment longer. I closed my mouth over her bundle of nerves and teased her with my lips and tongue as my finger continued to push into her, deeper and harder now. I could feel her hymen each time I pushed in. I pressed my tongue against her clit and thrust another finger into her. I had never tried this before and her walls tightened around me tightly. Her breath caught in surprise and she stiffened under me. I swirled my tongue around her as she liked, then took her between my lips and sucked. The tension left her body and a new wave of wetness followed, making it easier for my fingers to penetrate her . I found a slow rhythm as I listened to the sweet moans and sighs coming from her lips. I could have listened to her forever. I never tired of giving her pleasure. There was no better feeling in the world than making Lily explode with pleasure, and the knowledge that I was the only one doing it with her. A darker emotion filled me. She was not truly mine, perhaps never would be. One day she might marry someone her father had chosen for her, and then that man would see her this way. An unreasonable fury went through me, but I chased that feeling away. Now was not the time to think about that kind of thing. I didn’t want to lose control just because I was letting my thoughts wander to dangerous places. I wanted to enjoy every fucking second of this, especially since I didn’t know how many more chances we would have together. I focused on Lily’s sweetness until she finally melted , smothering her moans in my pillow. I would have liked to hear her cry out without restraint, without the fear of being found out. Someday. Someday, I would have really made her mine. I would have found a way. I pulled my fingers out and sat up, savoring the sight of her chest heaving as she enjoyed the aftermath of her orgasm. Slowly he opened his eyes and smiled. Damn . That smile got me every time.
I leaned over and kissed her, then reached into my nightstand drawer and grabbed a condom. Lily looked at me and a very brief flicker of nervousness crossed her face. I paused. “Are you sure you want to do this?” I wanted to shoot myself for asking. I wanted nothing more than to be inside her, to make her mine, to feel her walls around my cock. Why did I have to act so noble? Who was I kidding? She licked her lips in the most heartbreaking way possible and whispered, “Yes, I want you.” Thank God. I kissed her lips again. I slid off the bed and took off my underwear. My cock tensed to attention. I quickly rolled the condom over it before climbing back onto the backrest. It was not the first time Lily had seen me naked, but that day there was a flash of anxiety on her face when she looked at my cock. I moved between her legs, letting my fingers trace the soft skin of her thighs.
There was only trust in her eyes. I did not deserve so much trust from her, yet I fucking loved seeing it on her face. I leaned my weight on her elbows and began to kiss her gently. The tip of my cock rested lightly against her moist heat. I wanted to bury myself inside her and it took every ounce of self-control to stay still and wait for her to relax beneath me. I hooked my hand under her thigh and spread her legs a little. I looked deeply into her eyes, then shifted my hips and began to thrust into her. I didn’t take my eyes off her as I moved into her tight heat. She felt so fucking amazing. Tight and warm and wet, and I just wanted to push into her all the way. Instead I focused on Lily’s eyes, on the way she trusted me to make it good for her, to take care of her and be careful. Her face lit up with discomfort when I was not even halfway through. I stopped but her fingers on my shoulders stiffened. “Don’t stop,” she said quickly. “I won’t,” I promised. Stopping was the last thing I wanted to do. I traced my lips on her temple, then pushed further into her until I reached her barrier. I didn’t tell her it would hurt. She had only stiffened. I pushed into her all the way. Her walls were gripping my cock tightly. I was not moving . Lily’s face was contorted in pain. “It’s okay,” I murmured. “That was the worst part.” At least , I hoped it was. I felt her so tight around me, I was worried that if I started moving, I would only make things worse for her, but I couldn’t stay inside her like that forever. And I really wanted to move, I wanted to lose myself in her. “Lily?” She turned a tremulous smile on me. “I’m fine. It’s not as bad as before.” It wasn’t really something a guy wanted to hear from the girl he was with. I wanted to make her feel good, but I knew it would be difficult during her first time. Even though I wanted nothing more than to move, I decided to stay as I was and kiss her for a while. My cock screamed in protest. “You can really move,” she whispered. And that was all it took. I withdrew almost completely before slowly sliding back into her. She exhaled, her fingers sinking into my back. I slowed down even more and tried to go less deep, and soon Lily’s body melted beneath me. I made love to her like that for a long time, and when she responded with the first hesitant moan, I wanted to scream in triumph. But I couldn’t last forever, not with the way her walls tightened around me, and I had a feeling she wouldn’t come. Next time she would. And there would be a next time, I knew now. When it came to Lily, I couldn’t resist the temptation. I sped up even more until I felt my cock clench and release inside her. I held Lily tight as I desperately rocked my hips, then stopped. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on my chest. “Are you okay?” I murmured. She nodded, but said nothing. I pulled back slightly and lifted her face, worried that she was crying. But she just looked exhausted and happy. A sense of relief invaded me. I pulled out of her slowly and removed the condom. Before I threw it into the basket, I saw the blood smeared on the condom. For some reason it took that image to bring reality in. Fuck. What had I done? “Romero?” whispered Lily. I lay down beside her and held her in my arms. She didn’t need to know what I was thinking. I didn’t want her to worry. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, but I lay awake for hours. Eventually I slipped out of bed and went to the window. I stayed out toward the ocean for a long time. Regret was not a useful emotion. You could not undo the past. I turned back to the bed. Lily lay curled up under the blanket, only her beautiful hair and serene face poking out. She was sound asleep. I had to wake her up soon so she could go back to her room. The sky outside the window was already beginning to turn gray. Soon people would get up and it would be too risky if Lily was still in my room at that time. I should have sent her away immediately afterwards for her safety, but I didn’t have the courage to do that, and I also didn’t want to see her leave so soon after what we had done. “Fuck,” I muttered.
So far everything Lily and I had done had been risky but untraceable. But this, this could have destroyed Lily’s reputation and even started a war. Taking Lily’s virginity was a selfish thing to do. I knew that. I had learned to make reasonable decisions over the years, to make decisions that were good for the Family. But today I had ignored my duty and my promise to Luke. Lily sighed in her sleep and turned over. The covers moved with her and the pink stain on the sheets became visible. I closed my eyes. Fuck. This was supposed to happen on her wedding night. But I knew Rocco Scuderi would never give me Lily’s hand in marriage. I was just a fucking soldier. Respected and honorable, but still a soldier. Despite the guilt of taking Lily’s virginity, I knew I would do it again. I had wanted to make her mine for so long, and this was the only way I could. At least now a part of her belonged to me, at least she would never forget our night together, but I also knew it was not enough. I didn’t want Lily to have only the memory of our shared night for the rest of her days, I wanted to remind her of the pleasure I could give her every night, I wanted to taste it, smell it, feel it every fucking night. I wanted her to fall asleep in my arms and wake up next to me in the morning. I wanted to make her mine for everyone to know, but there was no way in hell I could do that without betraying Luca and the Family. Luca treated me like a brother, but if I did that, if I went against the Outfit by claiming Lily officially, he would have to put me down like a rabid dog for the sake of the Family. With a sigh, I made my way to the bed and leaned over Lily. I shook her hair away from her face. “Lily, you need to wake up,” I whispered. Her eyelids fluttered and she rolled onto her back. The covers slid off, revealing her perfect breasts. Her nipples curled in the cool air in the room. My cock twitched in response. I leaned over her. She still smelled of me. Cock. I was already getting hard again. She opened her eyes and gave me a sleepy smile. Happiness and confidence shone on her face. Hadn’t she realized that I had destroyed her life the night before? A slight blush appeared on her cheeks. I kissed her forehead. “You have to leave,” I said. She froze, her eyes full of insecurity. “Did I do something wrong last night?” My goodness. I wanted to stab myself with my fucking knife. I was such an asshole. I should never have allowed this to happen. Lily was a good girl, and I had ruined her. I kissed the spot below her ear, then her cheek. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong, honey.” She relaxed. She lifted her hand to the back of my neck, looking hopeful. “Can we cuddle a little?” She looked fucking vulnerable. He obviously wanted closeness after last night, and I wanted it too, but it was getting light outside. But from the way she was looking at me, I couldn’t say “no” to her. I slipped under the covers and she pressed herself against me. Her bare skin brushed against mine and all my senses awakened. I repressed my lust. This was not the time. I stroked her hair. “Are you okay?” She nodded against my shoulder. “I’m a little sore.” She looked embarrassed. I placed a kiss on her temple. And I wasn’t sure why I said it, because it didn’t make it any easier, but it escaped me, “I love you.” She inhaled before whispering, “I love you too.” I was digging my own grave and his too, just because I couldn’t control my cock, my heart and my mouth. He let out a happy little sigh. He didn’t seem to realize how much trouble we were in. I couldn’t stop feeling guilty. I wished I could say I would have behaved differently if I had the chance, but I knew I would sleep with her again. I had wanted her, still wanted her. CHAPTER SIXteen Liliana I could not believe that Romero and I had actually slept together. I felt no regrets. Maybe it would come at some point, but I couldn’t imagine it. It had been painful, yet it had been the happiest moment of my life so far. And later, when Romero had admitted that he loved me, I wanted to tell everyone. Whether they got angry, whether they insulted me, what did I care ? I was happy, and that was all that mattered. But I knew that wasn’t the case. Romero and I had to keep it a secret. Maybe someday we would find a way to make it official without starting a war, but at that moment I just wanted to enjoy our time together. The summer was drawing to a close, but Dad didn’t seem to want me back. Maybe he would forget about my existence and I could move to New York for good. The first time I had met Aria and Gianna after losing my virginity, I had worried that they would notice that something was different, but of course they had not noticed. No one had suspected anything. Perhaps that realization was why I had become bolder. It was almost noon and I could barely keep my eyes open. Romero and I had made love until the wee hours of the morning, and once back in the room, I had only managed to get two hours of sleep before I had to get up again to eat breakfast. “Why don’t you get some rest on the couch? You look tired,” Aria said when I yawned again. We were flipping through a brochure detailing events in the Hamptons to find something to do over the next few days. Sunbathing and swimming was getting boring. Gianna waggled her eyebrows behind Aria’s back. “She does. She can’t seem to get enough sleep at night.” Romero cast me a glance from where he was standing with Luca and Matteo, but he did not seem concerned. I decided to ignore Gianna’s comment. I got up from the table. “You’re probably right, Aria. I’m going to lie down for a while.”
Aria put the brochure aside and looked at the ‘clock before looking at Luca. “If we want to go out for lunch, we should leave early.”
Luca nodded.
I headed for the couch, lay down and closed my eyes. Almost immediately I slipped into a light sleep, interrupted only by the sound of Aria and Luca leaving, followed a few minutes later by the laughter of Gianna and Matteo as they headed for the beach. In the silence that followed, I felt my mind drifting again.
“I’m wearing you down,” Romero said from nearby.
I opened my eyes and saw him standing over me with a smirk. Slowly my lips curved into a smile and my sleepiness began to disappear. I hooked my leg behind his knee in an attempt to make him fall forward and preferably land on top of me, but Romero was too strong. After a quick glance toward the terrace door, however, he leaned down and gave me a kiss. When he was about to pull back again, I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.