Aria and I were sent away before Luke and Matthew began to deal with the bastard, and Romero led us out the back door to an SUV. My heart clenched as I settled into the back seat with Aria’s head on my lap. She was so helpless. I stroked her hair as I listened to her rambling. The ‘idea that someone wanted to hurt her scared me to death . This was probably the first time I was happy for our bodyguards. Without them that sick fuck would have kidnapped Aria and raped her. But I knew she would get what she deserved, and strangely enough I was okay with that. I hated the crowd and what it represented, but at that moment I couldn’t feel guilty about Aria’s attacker. Perhaps this was a sign of how much this life had shaped me, a sign of how messed up I was . I couldn’t get the look on Matthew’s face out of my head.
That flash of excitement as he pulled out his knife before Aria and I left the room. He and Luca were both monsters. I still wasn’t sure who was the more dangerous of the two. But the worst part was that a part of me felt attracted to Matteo’s monstrous side.
*** It had been almost a month since I had last seen Matteo. Somehow his words about possessing me still could not leave my mind. Every time I relived our kiss, I brought them to the forefront of my mind to let my anger wash away any kind of desire my body felt. The only reason I still remembered that stupid kiss was because things were really bad at home. I was constantly fighting with my father, most of the time because of my habit of saying what I thought, just like today. “I don’t give a damn what is expected of me.”
Mother shushed me, wide-eyed, but I couldn’t listen. If Father told me one more time that I should act like a good lady, I would lose my mind.
“Why is it so hard to get inside your head? I don’t want to be a lady, I certainly don’t want to be some mafia asshole’s good little wife someday. I’d rather cut my throat than end up like that.
I saw it coming but didn’t even try to avoid it. My father’s palm struck my face. It was one of his lighter slaps, which was usually not a good sign. He hit hard when he had no words to break my spirits. If he had gone easy on me, I would not have liked what he had to say. He gripped my shoulders tightly until I met his gaze. “Then maybe you should go find a sharp knife, Gianna, because Vitiello and I have decided to give you in marriage to his son Matteo.”
I gasped. “What?”
“You must have made some impression because he asked his father to make this arrangement.”
“You can’t do that!”
“I can. And it wasn’t my idea. Matthew seemed very adamant about wanting to marry you.
“That bastard.”
My father’s grip grew stronger, and I gasped. Lily merely stared at her with huge blue eyes. She and Aria had only occasionally experienced Father’s harder side. He usually reserved his slaps and cruelty for me, the bad daughter. “That’s exactly why I’m glad to have you out of our territory. If I married you to one of our soldiers, I would have to punish one of our own for beating you to death for your insolence, but if Matteo Vitiello tortures your common sense a little , I will be out of trouble because I can not risk war with New York.”
I swallowed my pain. I knew my father liked me less and did not need his approval or affection, but his words still hurt me. Mom, of course, said nothing, just stared at the plate as she folded and unfolded her silly napkin. Lily’s eyes were filled with tears but she knew better than to open her mouth when her father was in a bad mood. She and Aria were always better at self-preservation than I was.
“When did you make the decision?” I asked firmly, trying to mask my feelings.
“Matthew and his father contacted me right after Aria’s wedding.”
And suddenly I knew when Matteo had decided to marry me: when I had told him the morning after our kiss that I would never marry him. The arrogant asshole could not bear the blow to his pride. He was marrying me to prove a point:
That he had gotten everything he wanted, that he had power while I was a puppet in the hands of the mob. “I will not marry him or anyone else. I don’t care what you say. I don’t care what the Vitiellos say. I don’t fucking care.”
My father shook me hard until my ears began to ring.
“You do as I say, girl, or I swear I will beat you until you forget your own name.”
I frowned. I had never hated anyone as much as I hated the ‘man in front of me, yet a part of me, a hopeful, stupid, weak part of me, loved him. “Why are you doing this? It’s not necessary. We have already given them Aria to make peace. Why are you forcing me to get married? Why can’t you let me go to college and be happy?”
My father’s lips curled in disgust. “Go to college? Are you really that stupid? You will be Matteo’s wife. You will warm his bed and give birth to his children. End of story.
Now go to your room before I lose my temper.
Lily gave me a pleading look. What had once been Aria’s job was now Lily’s: to keep me out of trouble. If it hadn’t been for her, I would have continued the struggle. I didn’t care if my father beat me again and again, it wouldn’t change my mind.
I turned on my heels and ran to my room, grabbed my phone and threw myself on the bed. I quickly called Aria and after the second ring she answered. Hearing her voice, the tears I had been holding back slipped away. At least our bastard father could not see them.
“Aria,” I whispered. The tears were already coming faster.
“Gianna, what happened? What is going on? Are you hurt?”
“Dad is handing me over to Matteo.” The words sounded so ridiculous. No one in the outside world would even understand them. I was not a piece of furniture to be handed over to someone, and yet that was my reality.
“What do you mean he gives you to Matteo?”
“Salvatore Vitiello talked to Papa and told him that Matteo wanted to marry me. And Papa agreed!”
“Did dad say why? I don’t understand. I’m already in New York. He didn’t need to marry you with the Familia too.
“I don’t know why. Maybe Father wants to punish me for saying what I think. He knows how much I despise our men, and how much I hate Matteo. He wants to see me suffer. It wasn’t exactly the truth. I didn’t really hate Matteo, at least no more than I hated all the other Made Men. I hated what he stood for and what he did, hated that he asked my father for my hand as if my opinion didn’t matter.
“Oh, Gianna. I’m so sorry. Maybe I can tell Luca and he can change Matteo’s mind.”
“Aria, don’t be naive. Luca has known all along. He is Matteo’s brother and the future Chief. Something like this is not decided without his involvement.
“When did they make the decision?”
After I was stupid enough to kiss him. “A few weeks ago, even before you came to see me.” I couldn’t tell her that it had happened at her wedding. Aria would just find a way to blame herself for my unhappiness.
“I can’t believe him! I will kill him. He knows how much I love you. He knows I would not have allowed it. I would have done anything to prevent the deal.”
Aria seemed remarkably like me at that moment, and although my heart swelled with love for her because of her willingness to protect me, I could not allow it. Maybe Aria didn’t see it, but Luca was a monster and I didn’t want him to get hurt, not for me, not when it was already too late.
“Don’t get into trouble because of me. It’s too late anyway.
New York and Chicago shook hands. It’s a done deal and Matthew won’t let me escape from his clutches.
And I knew it was true. Even if he decided he didn’t want me, he would never admit it. I had always thought I could avoid marriage, I had always thought I could find a way to go to college, to find a life away from the mob world.
“I want to help you, but I don’t know how,” Aria said miserably.
“I love you, Aria. The only thing keeping me from slitting my wrists right now is the knowledge that my marriage to Matteo means I will be living in New York with you. I had never considered suicide a viable option, never felt unhappy enough to do so. But sometimes it seemed that the only choice I had left in life, the only way to decide my fate and ruin my father’s plans was actually when to end it.
But I would never really do that. I couldn’t hurt my brothers like that, and yet I was clinging too tightly to life .
“Gianna, you are the strongest person I know. Promise me that you won’t do anything stupid. If I hurt you, I couldn’t live with myself.
“You are much stronger than I am, Aria. I have a big mouth and a flashy swagger, but you are resilient. You married Luca, you live with a man like him. I don’t think I could have done that. I don’t think I could do that.” I had seen glimpses of Matthew’s darkness in New York when he had offered to kill Aria’s ‘attacker to make me happy, and then in his eyes when he was covered in blood like Luca. Then there was no remorse or guilt in his gaze. Sometimes I thought he was the more dangerous of the two because he had less control. Sometimes I thought he was hiding how messed up he was with his outgoing personality.
“We will find a solution, Gianna,” Aria said.
I knew there was nothing she could do.
*** That night Matteo fucking Vitiello actually dared to call my phone. I ignored him. There was no way I was going to talk to him. Not after what he had done. If he thought it was over, if he thought he had won, then he had another afterthought coming.