Dante did not go to bed that night. I waited a long time , unable to fall asleep, too confused by what had happened. He had admitted that he wanted me, had touched me, but then backed off. Why? When I woke up the next morning, his side of the bed was untouched, and when I entered the dining room thirty minutes later, his newspaper lay next to a clean plate.
Concerned, I approached his office. There was silence behind the door, but that meant nothing. I knocked, then entered without waiting for an answer. I did not want to give Dante a chance to raise his defenses. Maybe if I caught him by surprise again we would get somewhere. Dante sat behind a black wooden desk and squinted as I entered his office for the first time. Perhaps he felt like I had invaded his personal space again by entering.
My eyes landed on the silver frame on his desk. A picture of his first wife smiling. It was laid in the center of the desk, as if he had hastily put it down when I had opened the door. There were no other pictures in the room.
My stomach rose violently. Trying to hide my pain, I met his look of disapproval. “What are you doing here?”
“This is my house too, isn’t it?”
“Of course it is, but this is my office and I have to work.”
“You always do. I wanted to see if you were okay.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I be?
“Why? Because yesterday you acted very strangely. One moment you’re touching me and the next you can’t get away from me fast enough.
“You don’t know anything about me, Valentina.”
I interrupted him. “I do, and I want to change that, but you keep pushing me away.”
Dante stood up and ran a hand through his hair. “I never wanted to get married again. For good reason. Once again he made it sound as if this marriage had been my idea, as if I had a say in the matter.
“I didn’t ask you to marry me!” I had had enough. I turned on my heels and ran out of his office, making sure to slam the door as hard as I could. It was a childish thing to do. I heard it open again and behind me Dante’s footsteps. He reached out and grabbed my wrist, making me stop.
“You have an impossible temper,” he growled.
I stared at him. “It’s your fault.”
“This marriage has always been for logical reasons. I told you .”
“But that doesn’t mean we can’t try to make it a real marriage. There are no logical reasons why we shouldn’t sleep together. You slept with prostitutes, so why can’t you sleep with me?”
“Because I was angry and wanted to fuck someone. I wanted it rough and hard. I wasn’t looking for closeness or tenderness or whatever you want. I took all the pleasure I wanted and then I left. What you’re looking for, I can’t give you. The part that was capable of it died with my wife and will never come back.”
“You don’t know what I want. Maybe we want the same thing.” My voice was a mere whisper.
He huffed. “I can see from your eyes that this is not true. You want to make love, but I can’t give it to you. I want to possess you, I want to possess every part of you, but not for the reason you want me to. I am a heartless bastard, Valentina.
Don’t try to see anything else in me. The business suit and emotionless face are the thin layer covering the fucking abyss that is my soul and heart. Don’t try to look any further, you won’t like what you find.”
I was too stunned for a return. Instead, I saw him return to his office.
*** I spent the rest of the day considering my options. Dante didn’t want emotional attachment. He didn’t want tenderness either. Hard and tough, those were the words he used for the sex he sought from prostitutes. He was right. It was not what I wanted, but over the years I had learned that sometimes you have to settle for the lesser of two evils to achieve some form of happiness. I wanted to have sex with Dante, maybe not in the same way Dante did, but who said I wouldn’t enjoy it? And he hadn’t exactly said he would be hard on me. He had only said that I shouldn’t expect nonsense and affectionate gestures from him. I could live with that, couldn’t I?
I wanted to be desired by him. Maybe it would be as good as being loved by him.
It was almost dinner time but I was hungry for something else as I quickly undressed in our bedroom before I could change my mind and slipped into a robe. I couldn’t walk around the house naked.
My stomach churning with nervousness, I walked down the stairs and headed for Dante’s office. I knocked and this time waited for him to call me because I didn’t want to start this seduction attempt with an argument, even though yesterday’s discussion in the bedroom had excited me greatly. He opened the door without a word. His cold eyes slid over my body. I wondered if she could see that I was naked under the thin fabric of my bathrobe.
“May I come in?”
He stepped back and I entered. I could hear the door close and then Dante walked past me and turned to me with a questioning expression. “What’s going on?”
“I changed my mind.”
“About what?”
I opened my robe. “Who we are. About sex.”
Dante’s eyes darkened. Clenching his jaw, he shook his head and began to turn away. “You should leave.”
“Don’t turn your back on me. Look at me. I think I deserve at least that little bit of decency, Dante.
Tension radiated from him as he turned back to me.
He did not approach but looked at me. For once, he didn’t pretend I was invisible. His blue eyes roamed over my exposed body.
My nipples hardened in the cool air of his office but I did not close my silk robe, despite the overwhelming need to cover myself from Dante’s cold gaze. His gaze lingered on the apex of my thighs slightly longer than on the rest of my body, and a small burst of hope filled me.
How much control did he have, “Am I your wife?”
His eyebrows came together. “Of course you are.” There was a hint of something I couldn’t place in his voice.
“Then claim your rights, Dante. Make me yours.”
He did not move, but his eyes slid over my erect nipples.
His gaze was almost something physical, like the touch of a ghost on my bare skin, but it was nowhere near enough. I wanted to feel his fingers between my legs again, wanted to feel them on every inch of my body, wanted to cum until I lost count of all my troubles.
I was not above begging. I knew I almost had him, I could see it from the taut line of his shoulders, the shocked look in his eyes. I wanted to have sex tonight. “I have needs, too.
Would you rather I found a lover to relieve you of the burden of touching me?” I wasn’t sure I could go through with it . No, I knew I could not go through with it, but this act of provocation was my last option. If Dante did not react , then I would not know what else to do.
“No,” he said abruptly, something angry and possessive bursting through his perfect mask. He tightened his lips , his jaw clenched, and moved closer to me. I trembled with need and excitement when he stopped in front of me.
He didn’t reach me, but I thought I noticed a hint of desire in his eyes. It was not much, but enough to encourage me . I bridged the remaining distance between us and rested my fingers on his strong shoulders, pressing my naked body against his chest. The rough fabric of his suit rubbed delightfully against my sensitive nipples, and I let out a little moan. The pressure between my legs was almost unbearable. Dante’s eyes flashed as he looked at me. Slowly he wrapped an arm around me and placed his palm against my lower back. I wished he would have moved it lower. I didn’t think I had ever been so desperate for someone else’s touch, not even when I had to listen to Antony fuck Frank in the next room.
A sweet triumph flooded over me. Dante was not ignoring me now.
I lifted my head to look into his face. Whatever desire I thought I had seen was gone, its walls were high and impenetrable. I stood up on tiptoe, desperate for a real kiss, but Dante’s hand on my back tightened and he did not lower his face , making it impossible for me to brush my lips against his. He did not want me to kiss him. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had thrown myself naked on him, offered him my body and myself, and he had refused me. I pulled away from him, feeling dirty and mean. Avoiding his gaze, I turned around, closed my robe and ran out of his office. I crossed the lobby and ran up the stairs.
This was it. I would not try it again. I was going to have to accept that Dante didn’t want me enough, that he wouldn’t sleep with me for whatever stupid reason he listed until it was absolutely necessary to produce an heir.
I stumbled into the bedroom and threw myself on the bed.
For a moment, a wave of despair and sadness gripped my body, but I did not let it win. I had survived a marriage with Antony. I could survive a loveless marriage with Dante.
One day I would have beautiful children whom I could love and who would love me back, and until then I could take care of them. I was not the first woman in the world to have to live with a cold bastard for a husband, and I certainly would not be the ‘last. At least I didn’t have an abusive asshole like Thomas as a husband. That had to count for something.
And I should have simply taken care of my other needs, as I had done for the past few years. I rolled onto my back. I was still angry, still embarrassed and disappointed, but I was also still aroused. I closed my eyes and slid my hand down my body and between my legs. I started stroking myself , imagining that it was Dante’s fingers teasing me again, remembering the brief flash of desire in his eyes that I had probably imagined. My breathing became faster as I stroked my sensitive bulge. I was getting closer. A moan escaped my lips and there was a sharp intake of breath.
My eyes widened and I stared at Dante; he stood in the doorway, his hand on the doorknob and his eyes on me. For once they didn’t seem cold. God, how long had he been watching me?
I pulled my hand between my legs as mortification swept over me like a wrecking ball. I clutched my ‘robe to my chest and climbed to the edge of the bed. I couldn’t stay in the room with Dante, not after what he had just seen. I had embarrassed myself enough today, but Dante barred my way, suddenly in front of me. His tall figure loomed over me. I threw my head back to meet his gaze. They were more animated than I had ever seen them.
He looked almost angry. “No,” he said quietly.
I wasn’t quite sure what he meant. Then he leaned over me until I lay on my back again and towered over me.
His jacket opened and wrapped around me on both sides like a soft prison. I scanned his face. I could feel myself becoming more aroused by his closeness and the look on his face. He leaned on one arm and brought one knee between my legs, separating them.
My heart was pounding in my chest. Would he finally do what I had been waiting for? For a long time he just looked at me grimly , and I almost expected him to pull away again, but instead he cupped my breast and I arched my back with a needy groan. His eyes slid to his hand and he pinched my nipple, harder than I expected. Pleasure cursed like lightning through my body to my center. I needed him to touch me there, needed it more than food, water, air. Dante pinched and tugged at my nipple, his eyes dark and intent as they watched me. I had fondled my breast a few times over the years, but it had never done much for me, but Dante’s firm touch sent sweet tingles deep inside me. He lowered himself, the rough fabric of his jacket brushed against my side and captured my nipple between his lips.