If I had thought that last night’s chat with Dante would make him reconsider our seating arrangement during breakfast or even make him want to talk to me, I would have been terribly wrong.
As yesterday he disappeared behind his paper after a quick hello. I was not in the mood to fight for his attention. I was too confused and hurt by his continued disinterest in me. I just picked some fruit and drank a cup of coffee before deciding to apologize. Dante didn’t even look up from the paper when I left.
Normally I would have asked him if he wanted me to take one of his guards with me to Bibiana’s house, but I was too angry. I had a driver’s license. Antonio wanted me to get one after marriage, which unfortunately was not the norm for men in our world. After putting on a coat and grabbing my bag, I went into the garage. Dante had given me the keys to the house and the garage. Of the three cars parked in the garage, the Mercedes GL was the one that attracted the least attention. I took the car keys from a hook on the wall and slipped into the car. It took me a moment to find the button on the dashboard that opened the garage, but eventually I drove the car out and down the driveway. A guard I did not know was patrolling the fence but did not try to stop me when I opened the gate by pressing another button. I exited the building and the gate automatically closed behind me.
It was nice to drive again, even though I didn’t like Chicago traffic, but it had been too long since I had been allowed to drive alone. My parents had been too determined to keep me under control after Antonio’s death to let me go out alone. I knew the way to Bibiana’s house by heart; I had driven it countless times over the years, and it only took me ten minutes from Dante’s building.
Bibiana and Tommaso’s house was much smaller than Dante’s and my parents’. They did not have a long driveway where I could have parked. Instead, I had to leave my car on the street. Not that I was worried that someone might steal it. The streets where mob members lived were generally quite safe, unless you considered the risk of attacks by the Bratva or the Triad. I approached the front door and noticed one of Tommaso’s men sitting in a car across the street and watching the house. Tommaso was not of high rank like the men in my family or the Scuderi’s, but he was no mere soldier either. He always kept a guard near the house to watch Bibiana, or what I suspected:
To make sure he didn’t run away.
He didn’t stop me, just tilted his head in respect. I rang the doorbell. Bibiana opened the door, then glimpsed behind me. “Where are your guards?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t catch any. Dante never said I had to take guards.
“Won’t you get in trouble?” she asked as she closed the door and led me into their living room. As usual her husband was not home. Bibiana obviously did not care. She had gained a couple of pounds since Thomas had been forced to work so many hours. Now she no longer looked so emaciated.
“Why should I?” I said. I wasn’t even sure Dante cared if I left the house unprotected. He seemed too busy with God knows what.
Bibiana looked at me worriedly. “You have to be careful.
Dante is a dangerous man. He always seems so calm and involved control, but Thomas told me that Dante does not tolerate disobedience.”
It wasn’t really a surprise, but I couldn’t have really disobeyed him if he hadn’t given me an order from the start.
“I am not one of his soldiers.”
I let myself fall onto the couch. Bibiana sat next to me, curiosity filling her face. “So how was your wedding night?”
My lips twitched. “I slept well,” I said sarcastically.
Bibiana looked at me, blinking. “Huh? That’s not what I meant.”
“I know what you meant,” I said, frustrated. “Nothing happened. Dante treated me coldly.”
“Didn’t he try to sleep with you? What about last night?” I wished Bibiana didn’t sound so stunned; it made me feel even worse. As if somehow it was my fault that I had failed to make Dante want me. I knew she didn’t mean it that way.
“He didn’t even kiss me. He just lay down beside me and said he’d had his day early, then turned out the light and fell asleep. What kind of wedding night is this?” I leaned my head against the backrest. “I don’t understand.”
“Maybe he was really tired,” Bibiana said shyly.
I glanced at her. “Do you really think so?
He seemed fit enough . And what about yesterday ?
Was he tired too ?” I bit my lip. “Do you think it’s still because of his wife?”
Bibiana nervously rolled a strand of her brown hair around her finger. “Maybe. I heard he adored her. They were the dream couple in Chicago.
I had never paid much attention to Dante and his wife in the past, but I remembered seeing them together at social gatherings. I remembered thinking that they seemed to belong together. There were few couples in our world who seemed to be together because they loved each other . Most of them married for convenience, but with Dante and his wife Carla it was seen that they were meant to be together. Fate was cruel in separating them , and even crueler in throwing me into the arms of a man who had already found the love of his life once. “Maybe he hasn’t been with a woman since his wife died. That could be the reason why he hasn’t tried to consummate our marriage.”
Bibiana avoided my gaze and took a macaron from the silver etagere on the table in front of us. She put it in her mouth and chewed as if it allowed her full concentration. Dread filled my stomach. “Bibi?”
Her eyes flicked to me, then disappeared again. She swallowed and reached for another candy, but I grabbed her wrist, stopping her. “You know something. Did Dante have a mistress after his wife died?” Bibiana sighed. “I didn’t want to tell you.”
The words drained me. “You didn’t want to tell me what?”
What if Dante had a steady lover? Someone he couldn’t marry for social and political reasons. Maybe that’s why he chose me, a widow, because he didn’t want to screw over a poor innocent girl like that. My head began to spin.
Bibiana squeezed my hand tightly. “Hey, it’s not that bad.
Calm down. You look like you’re going to faint any minute.”
I took a green macaron and popped it into my mouth. The sweet taste of pistachio spread over my tongue and I relaxed slightly. “So tell it before you make up more horrible scenarios.” I could tell that Bibiana wanted to ask me what kind of scenarios I had come up with, but fortunately she didn’t. Bibiana knew me well enough to guess anyway.
We had been friends since we both knew how to walk. She was the closest cousin to me in age and we always spent every spare minute together. Even at school we were inseparable, except for classes we didn’t share because I was a year ahead. But it was hard to make friends among normal people, so we had stuck together. The situation had not changed after we got married. If possible we would have become even closer because we both could have shared our marriage problems without having to worry about something coming up.
“My husband told me that Dante attended the Palermo Club for a while.”
I froze. Club Palermo was a mob-owned nightclub with pole dancing, stripping and prostitution. Bibiana’s husband was the manager of the club. “What do you mean?”
Bibiana’s cheeks turned red. She seemed to regret bringing up the subject. “He used prostitutes for sex.”
I tightened my lips, trying to understand why it hurt so much. Only last night we had talked about prostitution, why hadn’t she mentioned something? I could almost see how that conversation would go. “Not anymore, right?”
“Oh no, that was some time ago. About a year after his wife died, he had a difficult time and came to the Club a couple of times a week to ‘blow off steam,’ as Thomas put it.
It had happened long before our marriage, yet knowing that Dante had slept with prostitutes, but hadn’t even tried to kiss me, hurt a lot. “So he has no problem sleeping with other women, he just doesn’t want to sleep with me.”
“No he doesn’t. And as I said, he hasn’t visited the Palermo Club in a long time.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t change the fact that he didn’t want to sleep with me. With Antonio I could deal with it. I knew it was nothing personal. He didn’t like me because he didn’t like women, but what is the reason for Dante’s disinterest ?
Maybe he doesn’t find me attractive.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Val. You are amazing. He would have to be blind not to be interested in you. Maybe he didn’t want to push you?
You lost your husband less than a year ago, and Dante doesn’t know that you and Antonio were never a real couple.
“It’s not that I don’t miss you, Antonio,” I said defensively. “I miss our conversations and the fact that he confided in me.”
“I know, but you don’t miss him physically. Maybe Dante thinks you are not ready for a physical relationship with another man.
I thought about it. It seemed like a logical explanation, and Dante was nothing but a logical man. Then again, Dante was a Made Man and usually did not suffer from excessive sensitivity. “How many men do you know who would care about such a thing?”
Bibiana grimaced. “Thomas certainly wouldn’t.”
“You see,” I said, feeling even more miserable. “It is unlikely that Dante’s conscience would prevent him from sleeping with me. He is a murderer, and a skilled one at that. He is the boss for a reason.”
“That does not mean he does not have some scruples. I know he strongly disapproves of rape.
I huffed. “Disapproves?”
Bibiana looked at me sternly. “I mean it. Dante told his men that he would castrate anyone who used rape as a form of torture, punishment, or entertainment. Thomas hates that because he thinks he should be allowed to do whatever he wants with the women of the Palermo Club.
I didn’t doubt it for a second. I had lost count of the number of times he had raped Bibiana. Of course, in our world no one called it rape because she was his wife and her body belonged to him. Thinking about it made me nauseous. “Okay, so he has qualms about a couple of things.” It made sense after what he had said about Gabi the day before. Maybe she just didn’t want to start anything with me because she thought I was still crying Antonio.
“Maybe you should make the first move?” Bibiana said.
“I jumped around him half-naked yesterday, what else can I do?”
“You could kiss him. Touch him.”
I knew how to kiss. Antonio had kissed me a few times. It was nice. At least for me, so kissing Dante was definitely something I could do. “Touch him? You mean his, you know what?
Bibiana blushed, “I think so? I never started anything with Thomas but he always wants me to touch him there and suck him off.” Bibiana took another macaron. I knew she hated talking about sex with Tommaso. Who wouldn’t?
“Touching him can’t be too hard.”
“Oh, it will be hard.”
I laughed. “Dirty jokes already? Macarons really get you going.
Bibiana chuckled and shook her head. “You’ll be fine. Even if you suck on them, you can’t do anything wrong. Don’t use your teeth and you should swallow, those are the two most important things.
I had to hide a grimace. I wasn”t so disgusted with the idea of giving Dante a blowjob, but the image of Bibiana having to swallow Thomas’ stuff made me want to hurl.
“The great thing about blow jobs is that most men love them, so if you don’t like actual sex, you can make them happy this way.”
I really hoped it wouldn’t come to that. I knew that the only orgasm Bibiana had ever experienced had been with her own hands, but I really didn’t want to share her fate.
“I’ll try tonight,” I said, suddenly feeling more confident.
“Call me tomorrow. I want to know how it went.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know if anything interesting happens.”
*** That night, when Dante joined me in bed, I took all my courage, walked over to him and touched his bare chest.
He was warm and firm. Dante froze under my touch, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. Dante immediately deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth. This kiss was different from the ones I had experienced with Antonio. Dante claimed my mouth, making me tremble with the need to know more. I let my hand slide lower, along his stomach. He pulled back and grabbed my hand, stopping its descent. He shook his head, his eyes shining with something dark and angry.
“You should sleep now, Valentina.”
I stared at him, not understanding. What had just happened? He had kissed me as if he wanted to devour me and then stopped without explanation. I tore my hand from his grip, struggling against the angry tears that rose to my eyes. Without a word, I turned around, with my back to Dante, and closed my eyes.
“I know you went to Bibiana today without protection. This will not happen again. You can go anywhere you want. You can even drive alone, but from now on I want one of the guards to be by your side when you leave this house. It’s too dangerous for you outside these walls,” he said as if he hadn’t just kissed me, as if he wasn’t the least bit touched by what we had done.
I pressed my lips tightly together. I wanted to scream in frustration, but instead more tears pooled in my eyes.
“Understand?” asked Dante after a while.
I had to hold back a fierce comment. “Yes understood.”
We both remained silent again, without touching each other, as if we were two strangers accidentally forced into the same bed. And it was actually too close to reality than I liked. The throbbing between my legs was almost unbearable, but it was clear that Dante would do nothing. I was no longer sure what to do.