88

I convinced Romero to go out to dinner at a restaurant that, according to google map, was only a five-minute walk from the address Cosima had given me. When Romero used the guest bathroom in our apartment, I took advantage of the moment to take a small gun that Luca kept in one of the top drawers of the walk-in closet . I had noticed it when I had unpacked and folded the clothes in the drawers. I hid it in the side pocket of the bag. Although I didn’t have much experience with weapons, in theory I knew how to handle them. Better safe than sorry.
*** It was a quarter past nine. Romero and I had just finished our appetizer when I got up to go to the bathroom. Romero pushed back his chair and made to get up as well.
I frowned. “You won’t follow me into the bathroom. Do you think I’ll get lost on the way? People will be watching. No one knows who I am here. I’m safe.”
Romero fell back. The bathroom was around the corner, closer to the door than to our table. I walked out of the restaurant, grabbed my flat shoes from my bag and put them on. Then I hurried toward the ‘address. It would be at least five minutes before Romero ventured toward the bathroom and hopefully longer before he burst in to check on me.
When I arrived in front of the sandstone building, I hesitated. It had no reception desk, just a narrow hallway and a steep staircase. Then I took a deep breath and entered. The key said the ‘apartment was on the third floor. I took the elevator hidden in a dark corner behind the stairs. On the way up, doubt overwhelmed me. Perhaps I should not have listened to the letter. The elevator stopped and the door opened with a clatter. My eyes raced to the button that would take me back to the ground floor but instead I stepped out and found the apartment door. It was not completely closed.
My heart was pounding with fear. It seemed like a really bad idea, but curiosity was stronger than worry. I opened the door and peeked inside. The living room was dark and empty, but the light was coming from somewhere else. I placed my hand on the gun in my bag, then crept further in, but froze when I heard a woman shout. “YES! Louder!”
Terror took hold of me as I followed the voice. I had heard it before. Light was coming out of an open door. I stopped in front of it, hesitant. I could still turn around and pretend I had never received the letter. Another groan came out of the room, and I peeked in. Heat rose on my face, then seemed to drain completely from my body. Grace Parker was on her knees and forearms on the bed as Luke fucked her from behind. The slaps of his body hitting her bottom filled the silence, interrupted only occasionally by her encouraging cries and moans. Luca’s eyes were closed as his fingers sank into her hips and struck her again and again. Grace turned to meet my eyes and smiled triumphantly. Bile rose up my throat. Here, then, was what Luca had been doing for the past two nights.
For one crazy moment, I thought about pulling out my gun and throwing it at her head. I wouldn’t shoot her even if I wanted to. I wasn’t a mobster. I was not Luca. My shoulders slumped and I took a step back. I needed to get away. Luca’s eyes widened, his hand searched the bed beside him for a gun, but then he found me. He gasped, then froze.
“What’s wrong, Luca?” asked Grace, moving her butt against him. He was still buried inside her. Luca and I stared at each other and I felt tears fill my eyes.
I turned and ran. I needed to get away. Just outside. The moment I stepped out of the elevator on the second floor, I started shaking but didn’t stop. I rushed out almost colliding with Romero who must have followed the GPS on my phone. He stumbled backward, looked at my face, then at the ‘building, and his eyes went wide. He knew. Everyone seemed to know except the stupid me.
I rushed off, running faster than I had ever run in my life. As I crossed the street toward the subway station, I saw Luca with his shirt unbuttoned and his pants staggering out the door. Romero was already chasing me.
But I was fast. Years of treadmill training had finally paid off. I was practically flying down the stairs, groping for the subway card my sisters and I had purchased before the wedding after forcing Umberto to show us the subway. I managed to squeeze through the already closed doors of a subway car. I wasn’t even sure where it was going. But when I saw Luca and Romero heading toward the tracks, the only thing that mattered was that they were taking me away. Away from the triumphant smile Grace had given me, away from the sound of Luca’s body pounding her bottom, away from her betrayal.
On our wedding night I had told Luca I didn’t hate him. I wished he would have asked me again today. I let myself fall into a vacant seat, but I was still shaking. Where was I going?
I couldn’t get away. Probably Luca was already sending all the soldiers after me. I gave a stifled laugh and received some strange looks from the other passengers. What did they know? They were free.
I picked up my cell phone and called Gianna. She answered on the second ring. “Aria?”
“I caught Luca in bed with Grace.” Other people looked in my direction. What did it matter? They didn’t know who I was. The wedding announcements in the newspaper had never included a picture of Me. I really didn’t need any more attention.
“Holy shit.”
“Yes.” I got off at the next station and began to tell Gianna the whole story. I walked quickly away from the underground because that would be the place they would look first. Eventually I landed in a noisy, dark place where hamburgers and beer were being sold. I ordered a coke and a hamburger, even though I had no intention of drinking or eating.
“Where are you now?” asked Gianna.
“Somewhere. I don’t even know. In a restaurant, more or less.”
“Be careful.” I didn’t say anything. “Are you crying?”
I was. Once again I remained silent.
“Not. Not when I’m not there to comfort you and kick Luca’s ass. I knew he was an asshole. Fucking bastard. You haven’t slept with him yet, have you?”
“No, I haven’t. That’s probably why he doesn’t cheat on me.”
“Don’t you dare blame yourself, Aria. Any decent man would have kept his dick in his pants or used his hand.
The hamburger and a coke arrived and I thanked the waitress who lingered by my table for a couple of seconds, her eyes lingering on my tears. I smiled at her and she finally took the hint and left.
“What are you going to do now? Are you planning to go home?”
“Do you really think Father will let me leave Luca because he cheated on me? Father has had a mistress for years. Nor would Luca allow it. I was his, as Romero never ceased to remind me.
“Men are all pigs.”
“I can’t forget the look Grace gave me. It looked like she had won.”
“She wanted you to see it, she wanted to humiliate you.” Gianna fell silent. “You are the wife of the future Chief of Chiefs. If someone humiliates you, he practically insults Luke.”
“Well, he was busy helping you insult me.”
Gianna huffed. “I hope his dick falls off.”
“I’m not holding my breath.”
“I bet Romero will get his ass kicked for letting you get away. Serves him right.”
I almost felt sorry for Romero, but then I remembered that he had known about Grace all along. It had been written all over his face. God, how many people knew? Were they all laughing at me behind my back?
“Are you talking to Aria?” I could hear Lily’s excited voice in the background. “It’s none of your business. Get out of my room, you little busybody.
“I want to talk to her! She’s my sister, too!”
“Not now. This is private.” There were shouts, then the slamming of a door, followed by fists pounding against the wood. My heart swelled with warmth and I smiled. This had been my life not so long ago. Now I had only a cheating husband to go back to.
“So what now?” asked Gianna finally.
“I honestly don’t know.” I paid and left the restaurant, wandering back to the streets. It was dark but they were still crowded with people returning home from dinner or heading to a club or bar.
“You can’t let him treat you like this. You have to fight back.”
“I don’t know if fighting Luca is something I want to do.”
“What can he do to you? You are not his enemy or his soldier, and he said he would not beat women or force himself on you. What’s left? You lock yourself in your room without dinner?”
I sighed.
“Maybe you should cheat on him. Go to a club, find an attractive guy and sleep with him.
Luca would like that very much. “It would kill him. I don’t want blood on my hands.”
“Then do something else. I don’t care as long as you pay Luca back for what he’s doing to you.
He will probably continue to betray you. Fight back.”
But Gianna was the fighter. I preferred subtle tactics. “I should get rid of this phone now. I need more time to think, and I don’t want Luca to track me down.”
“Call me as soon as you can. No matter the time. If I don’t hear from you tomorrow morning, I don’t care who I have to take with me to fly to New York.”
“All right. I love you.” Before Gianna could say anything else, I turned my phone off, deactivated it, and tossed it in the trash before walking the streets aimlessly. It was past midnight and I was getting tired. The only thing that kept me going was the image of Luke going crazy because he couldn’t find me . He hated not being in control. And now I had slipped away from him. I wished I could have seen him.
I bought a coffee and wrapped my fingers around the warm paper cup as I leaned against the front of the cafe and let my gaze wander over the dwindling number of passersby. Every time a couple passed by me, holding hands, kissing, laughing and falling in love, my chest tightened. My eyes burned from exhaustion and from crying earlier. I was very tired.
I stopped a cab and let it take me to our apartment building. As soon as I entered the lobby, the ‘receptionist immediately picked up the phone. Good dog, I wanted to say. Instead, I twisted my mouth into a smile and entered the elevator, then slipped the card in so that it would take me to the right floor. I was almost calm now, at least on the outside. Was Luca in the penthouse? Or was he outside chasing me? Or maybe he had gone back to his whore and let his men do the work for him. When I woke up with Luca’s arms around me, or when he kissed me, I let myself believe that maybe I could make him love me. When we had had dinner together I had thought that I might fall in love with him.
I walked into the penthouse. Romero was there and practically keeled over with relief. “She’s here,” he said into the phone, then nodded before ending the call.
“Where is Luca? Back with his whore?” Romero frowned. “I’m looking for you.”
“I’m surprised he’s worried. He could have sent you or one of his other pooches. After all, you do everything he says. Even cover for him while he’s out cheating on me. Romero didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure why I was lashing out at him.
I walked away.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to undress and take a shower. If you want to watch, be my guest. Romero stopped but his eyes followed me up the stairs. I closed the bedroom door behind me, then locked it before going into the bathroom to take a shower. I turned the temperature up as high as I could, but the ‘water could not wash away the images that had taken refuge in my brain. Luke buried in Grace. Her smile. The sound of his hips slamming against her butt. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was feeling.
Disappointment. Jealousy? I had not chosen Luca, but he was my husband. I wanted him to be faithful to me. I wanted him to want only me. I wanted to be enough.
When I got out of the shower I heard knocks at the bedroom door. I wrapped a towel around myself and slowly walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom.
“Aria, let me in!” There was anger in his voice. Was he angry?
I dropped the towel and slipped on a silk nightgown.
“If you don’t let me in, I’ll kick the door down.”
I’d like to see you do that. Maybe you’ll dislocate your shoulder.
“Aria, open the damn door!”