62

Gianna
We spent our first summer vacation at the beach house. It was early June and the sun was shining brightly. The weather forecast predicted a few days without rain. Alessio had taken a week off from work, which didn’t mean he wouldn’t have to come back in an emergency, but I was still excited about the possibility of having a family vacation at the beach. I dressed Simona in a cute two-piece with ruffles and sunflowers, cute sunglasses and a straw hat. My bikini looked very similar, minus the excessive frills, but we still managed to create a cute twin look. Daniele wore his favorite Superman swimsuit.
Alessio was a sight for sore eyes in his surf shorts. He took Daniele into the water while Simona and I only dipped our toes into the Atlantic. I preferred warm water, so I didn’t understand how Alessio and Daniele could enjoy a dip in the cold. Simona shared my opinion and squealed every time the waves touched her little toes. Her eyes filled with joy as she raised her arms.
“Arm, Mommy.”
Every time she called me “Mama,” my heart skipped a beat. Sometimes he called me “Giula” when he tried to imitate Daniel, but he had difficulty pronouncing my name. Daniel had been confused the first few times he called me mom, but after I explained that I was not trying to take his mother’s place and that it only showed how much I loved and cared for them, he had come to terms with it.
Clutching Simona to my chest, I saw Alessio carrying Daniel on his shoulders. Everyone who saw them knew they were father and son, not because of physical similarities, but because of the way they behaved with each other. It was beautiful. Loulou barked wildly beside me, enraged that Alessio and Daniel were out of her reach, but she didn’t like water very much.
“Daddy!” Simona shouted, spreading her arms wide.
Alessio got out of the water and put Daniele on the beach. Loulou immediately inspected him, as if afraid that the ocean might have hurt him. I handed Simona to Alessio, and before he re-entered the water, he kissed me. Daniel ran along the water’s edge, Loulou kept barking behind him. Her fur had grown again, and she was the cutest curly ball of fluff.
“Not so fast!” I called when Daniel and Loulou got too wild, and then Daniel tripped and fell hard. I rushed to him. Loulou was already licking his face. I knelt beside him. He was cradling his knee, crying. He had landed on a stone and was bleeding from a cut below his knee.
“It’s okay. We’ll fix you up.” Alessio’s shadow fell over us. He handed Simona over to me and took Daniele into the house. He managed to calm down in his father’s arms. The wound did not need stitches, fortunately. Alessio cleaned it up and patched it with a band-aid while speaking in a low, soothing voice to Daniele. Daniele did not shed another tear. He tried to be a big boy when he was around his father. Alessio patted him on the head.
“Do you want a popsicle?” I asked.
He bit his lip, looking at the sofa, shuffling his legs.
“Daniele?” I stood on my thighs in front of him, trying to figure out what was wrong. He wrapped his arms around my neck, surprising me. “Hey, are you okay?” I held Daniel tightly to my chest, not knowing why he needed my closeness but more than willing to give it to him.
“Mom,” he whispered. I froze. Alessio stiffened, his eyes tumultuous as he watched. Was Daniele thinking about Gaia? Do you miss her? I pulled back slowly. Daniele lowered his gaze to my chin.
“Can I call you mom?” I choked up and tears came to my eyes at his unexpected request. Alessio’s face stopped.
I kissed Daniel’s cheek and then pressed him to me once more.
“Yes. Nothing would make me happier. I love you.” He started sniffing and even I couldn’t help myself. Alessio looked away, his Adam’s apple swaying as he swallowed. After a moment, he walked over to us and knelt beside us, hugging us both. I pressed my face against his chest, feeling the beat of his heart thundering in his ribcage.
Alessio kissed the top of my head and then Daniele’s. Daniel called me mom whenever he had the chance that day, shyly at first, but then with adorable giddiness. In the evening, Alessio and I sat on the swing in front of the house, watching the sunset. We had not yet talked about today’s events. With Daniele and Simona around, there had been no time.
“I wasn’t expecting this,” I said. Alessio knew what I was referring to without me saying it outright. His arm around my shoulders tightened, holding me even closer to his side.
“Neither do I. She is old enough to remember her mother, but I suppose the memory will fade with time as well. He was too young to form a strong bond with her. I guess that’s a blessing after all.”
“I suppose so.” It seemed terribly cruel to be happy about Gaia’s untimely death, but for Simona and Daniel it was probably easier that way. Had they both been older at the time of her suicide, they would have struggled even more.
“In the end, Daniele and Simona will ask questions about Gaia. It is natural to want to know more about one’s birth mother.”
Alessio exhaled.
“Until they do, I won’t talk about her. Everything I tell them will be a lie anyway.” “Not everything.” “When we got married, I thought I was doing damage control.” My eyebrows climbed on my forehead. Alessio chuckled upon seeing it. “I know. Not very romantic. But you were supposed to make my life easier.”
“You expected to have a nanny with a few sexy moments thrown into the mix.” “I can’t deny that. I didn’t consider the option that we would become partners, that I would enjoy your presence outside the bedroom, and even that seemed unlikely after meeting you for the first time.” “You know how to turn this romantic sunset into another even more romantic moment,” I joked.
“Romance is not my forte.”
“You don’t say?” Alessio turned to me and stroked my cheek. “You surprised me and continue to surprise me.”
“That’s good … right?” “More than good.” “Do you think you will ever trust me completely? You never expected me to betray you?”
“I trust you.” To my doubtful expression, he added:
“Yes, but I’m not sure the nagging doubt in the back of my head will ever go away completely. Capturing Gaia like that…” He shook his head, then looked toward the ocean. “I know that most people are capable of doing very bad things. I see that every day. It’s hard not to always expect the worst.” I understood that. I couldn’t imagine what it felt like to find out your partner cheating on you, especially with family. “I will not cheat. I will work for your trust every day, no matter how long it takes for your annoying voice to shut up. I love you.”
Alessio leaned down, his lips touching mine.
“If anyone can silence my annoying voice, it is you. You have given me new life.” “You mean your newfound manhood?” I teased him, smiling. Alessio did not smile. He stroked my hair, his eyes followed his fingers as they slid down. “In everything. I was dead inside, living for each day, living for work, building a future for my children. While I was doing that I was forgetting about the present, about life. You showed me how important it is to live in the moment, to live my children’s lives and not just plan for their future.” He kissed me. Then his smile grew darker. “But my newfound virility is definitely another benefit of your presence in my life.” His hand slipped under my shirt. I looked around.
“No one can see us here.”
“I know,” I said. Then I stood up and took a step back.
“But I was thinking of trying the beach…” Alessio stood up. “You’ll have sand everywhere.” I took another step back and pulled my shirt over my head. “Maybe I’ll enjoy the extra friction, old man.” Alessio’s smile turned wolfish.
“I think I need to dip you in the ocean first to punish you for your insolence.”
I stepped back, down the stairs, and Alessio chased me like a hunter after his prey.
“Run, child, run.” “I’m not…” He launched himself at me, but with a choked scream, I jumped backward, turned, and dashed away. My feet sank into the soft sand and the cool evening breeze lashed my hair. I cast a glance over my shoulder and saw Alessio removing his shoes, shirt, and pants. Looking up, I dropped my bra and shouted:
“You’ll never catch up with me, old man!” He was surprisingly fast. Hell, he was faster than any man of his height and muscle mass. All those damn workouts were paying off, it seemed.
Giggling, I opened the button on my shorts. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop because Alessio was on my heels, and so I almost tripped trying to get my shorts off while running. Only in my shorts, I accelerated even more, trying to run up the dunes and away from the ocean.
“Got it,” Alessio growled a moment before his arms wrapped around my chest and lifted me off the ground. He placed a warm kiss on my neck, then bit me, making me gasp. Despite my struggle, he carried me all the way to the ocean shore. “It will be very cold. Fortunately, I know the perfect way to warm you up again.”
“Alessio, don’t you dare!” I warned him, but he jumped into the waves. The cold spray hit my calves. “Alessio!”
He threw me into the water. Shock from the freezing cold of the Atlantic ran through my body. I broke through the surface of the water with a gasp, inhaling sharply as my body struggled to adjust to the cold. Alessio seemed to be taking a dip in the Caribbean and not in the Atlantic. He didn’t even have goosebumps! I looked at him, but at the same time I couldn’t help but smile. Maybe I had surprised him, but he surprised me, too. When I had first seen him in the lobby of my parents’ house, looking so terribly poised and in control, I had wondered how we would ever work. We were still different in many aspects of our personalities, but we both made small adjustments for each other. Marriage was give and take, and despite Alessio’s need to control everything, he too had given to make it work.
“How about warming up now?” He clutched at me, pulling me against his wonderfully warm body. His mouth gripped my throat once more. “No sex in the ocean. I will freeze important assets if we stay in the water any longer.” Alessio laughed deeply against my skin.
“What kind of assets?” His mouth traveled south and then closed around my nipple. I squeezed his head, nodding.
“That, for example.” I looked for the row of houses lined up on the dunes. The light shone in some of them, and I wondered if they would be able to see us if they looked toward the ocean. I didn’t care. “I’ll keep your possessions warm, don’t worry,” he murmured against my skin, and I decided it would be worth it to freeze to death.
After a quickie in the ocean, I managed to convince Alessio of another trip to the beach, which I later regretted-just as he had planned. A thick layer of sand covered every inch of my body, and more than one grain of sand had found its way into the crevices I preferred devoid of sand. After a long shower, I still felt sore as we settled back on the swing. Alessio’s face I told you so was further punishment.
Someone knocked on the window. Simona pressed her nose against the glass and pounded her fists against it. Alessio opened the door and picked her up before settling with her on his lap beside me.
Simona snuggled against him and gave me a tired smile. I ruffled her dark blond locks and curled her legs under her body. Alessio kept the swing moving with his longer legs. Not long after, the terrace door opened again and Daniel stepped out onto the porch barefoot. Crinkling his eyes, he staggered toward us. I hoisted him onto the swing between us and he rested his little head on my chest.
I had never considered myself ready to be a mom. I, too, felt like a child almost every day before Dad told me about my engagement to Alessio. It was true that you were equal to the tasks presented to you if you just faced them head on.
I would probably often make mistakes in raising these children. I should have learned with them. Alessio leaned his head back, looking at the peace and contentment. I wanted to be his safe haven. His work was full of blood, conflict, and death. I didn’t want him home. He caught me staring and gave me a tired smile. I would take care of Simona and Daniel, protect them from everything, even the truth. I swore I would never lie to Alessio, but the truth his father had told me had to be the only exception. Lies had a way of catching up with you in the end. I hoped this was one of the cases where they didn’t.