57

Gianna
Two days before Daniel’s birthday, when it was certain we would spend the weekend at the beach house, I called Mia. I had not spoken to her since the wedding and only exchanged a few brief messages of pleasantries.
“Gianna, what a pleasure. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Sure?” Her curiosity was unmistakable. I wondered how much she really knew about the reason for Gaia’s death. Judging from Alessio’s words, he only knew the basics.
“We are spending the weekend at the beach to celebrate Daniel’s birthday, and I was wondering if you and your family would join us. Or is that too much work for you?” Mia’s due date was only three weeks away, so I wasn’t sure if she wanted to risk even a short trip.
“Is he already taking you there?” I frowned. “We already spent a weekend at home.”
“Oh. That’s wonderful, Gianna.” Her joyous surprise caught me off guard. I thought the house was for the family, not just Alessio.
“And of course we will join you. Do you want me to ask Ilaria and my parents if they want to come too?”
“Yes,” I said, relieved. I had even less interaction with them and would have felt uncomfortable calling them out of the blue, especially Alessio’s parents.
It was cold but sunny when we arrived at the beach house on Friday afternoon. Alessio had received Daniel’s gift, which surprised me. My mother had always been in charge of buying us things, but I was glad that she was trying to be involved with her children. After we settled in, I started assembling the ingredients for the birthday cake. Alessio peered at the display as he came up behind me. He was dressed in stooped pants that accentuated his long, muscular legs, and his sweater did nothing to hide his broad chest. His aftershave, a spicy scent that always filled me with surprising warmth, reached my nose, and I had to resist the temptation to lean into him again. Until that moment, we had not shared any kind of intimacy in front of the children, and I would not initiate anything.
“What is all this for?” Alessio asked. With his body protecting me, he brushed my side with his hand, stopping at my side for a brief squeeze before stepping back.
“A rainbow funfetti cake.” I could see her confusion. Before researching online, I didn’t even know of such a cake. I smiled. “You’ll see.” Daniel stopped in front of the terrace door, peering toward the beach. Loulou sat down next to him, her gaze fixed on the seagulls that roamed the sky. “Maybe you can take a walk on the beach with him so he doesn’t see his cake before tomorrow?” Alessio’s dark eyebrows came together. “I can try.”
Simona crawled toward us, using my leg to pull herself up. After her initial distrust of me, she was now barely pulling away from my side. “I didn’t think Daniele and Simona would catch you so quickly.”
“I suppose it’s an advantage that they are so young.” Too young to really understand what had happened, especially Simona.
“Yes.” Alessio looked at Daniel. “Why don’t you take Loulou with you?” Alessio’s expression immediately turned to reluctance.
“Listen to me,” I said before he could argue. “Daniele loves her. If Loulou trusts you, maybe Daniele will too. I think that’s why she started trusting me.” “That dog won’t let me get close. It’s a miracle the thing has stopped snapping at me.”
Lifting Simona, who kept tugging at my skirt, I stood in front of Alessio. He looked at me and his daughter, and his expression softened. “You could start by calling him Loulou. Give it a try. Please.” He frowned, shaking his head, then leaned down and kissed me, catching me by surprise. Simona grabbed his chin with her hands and he grabbed her fingers with his mouth, making her laugh. When he pulled back, my gaze found Daniel, but he was still standing with his nose practically touching the window. “All right. But won’t Loulou run away once she’s out with me?” “She might. Keep her on a leash.”
I grabbed the leash as I headed for the window. Alessio followed close behind. It was strange to see a man so tough and used to ruling fellow mobsters not knowing how to handle a little boy. I thought it was easier to keep dangerous men in line than to win back the trust of a little boy. It was not something he could force, coerce, or demand. I put Loulou on a leash and Daniel immediately looked up. “You and your father take Loulou for a walk.” Daniele raised his head even higher, peering at Alessio.
“Come on, it’s cold outside. Let’s put on our snowsuits,” he said. He took Daniele in his arms, who remained silent. Five minutes later, Daniele was dressed in his warm suit and Alessio had put on a coat. I held out the leash to him.
He took it in a way that made it clear he had never held one in his life. The moment I opened the door, Daniel and Loulou slipped out. Alessio followed them, ignoring Loulou’s tug toward the beach. I watched them for a moment until they reached the ocean. It was such a beautiful sight. Alessio’s huge build and next to him a little furry dog and a little boy….
I didn’t have much baking experience, so I could only hope that everything would work out. At least I had painting experience, so maybe food coloring would literally be a breeze. Simona sat in her high chair so she could watch me. She usually preferred to remain mobile, but watching me bake a cake seemed to get most of her attention. I divided the dough into three parts and colored each one differently.
After covering it with buttercream, I sprinkled it with funfetti.
Simona was obviously fascinated by the colored sprinkles and the hands made by grip, but I didn’t want her to choke on the little pieces. I put the finished cake in the refrigerator, then grabbed Simona, wrapped us both in a thick wool coat, and went out on the porch. Despite the scorching cold, Daniel was playing in the sand. Alessio sat on the edge of a lawn chair right next to him, typing on his phone and casting an occasional glance at his son. Loulou was perched next to Daniele, her nose raised in the breeze. They walked down the wooden steps to the beach. Alessio’s head turned on itself, with the readiness overflowing in his body, until he fixed his gaze on me and Simona. He relaxed and put the phone back in his jacket. “Are you finished with the cake?”
I nodded with a smile as I surveyed the piles of sand around Daniel, who seemed completely focused on the task at hand. “Your sister and her family will be here in an hour. We need to get ready.” Looking at Daniele’s sand-covered state, cleanup would probably take some time. Alessio straightened up and then squatted down in front of Daniele, who looked up briefly.
“Aunt Mia is coming to see me. We have to clean you up.” She gently grabbed Daniele and lifted him to his feet, then began to brush the sand from his thick snowsuit. Daniele did not protest, his lips tightly pursed. He kept peering at Alessio, and in his eyes I saw the same desire I so often caught in Alessio’s.
“Him?” “Ready to come in?” I asked. Daniele nodded and together we walked back. Alessio cleaned up Daniele. There were fewer protests than before. Daniele also missed his father. I cleaned up the kitchen and set the table, glad I had accepted Mia’s suggestion to bring take-out food. Cooking and baking would have been too much with my limited experience. Mia had become even rounder since I had last seen her at the wedding. Her husband Emiliano was Alessio’s age and he shook my hand only briefly before joining him for drinks. Mia’s two daughters were five and two and absolutely adored their little braids and cute dresses. “How is the baby?” Mia touched her belly.
“He’s good.”
Mia smiled, but Emiliano spoke before she could. “It’s a boy.” His relief and enthusiasm were unmistakable. The men in our circle still needed an heir. I took the takeout from Mia and brought it to the table, somewhat annoyed that Emiliano had allowed Mia to hold it even though it was not that heavy.
“He’s getting fast,” Mia said with a nod toward Simona, who had perfected speed-crawling. “He’s already trying to walk.” Mia touched my shoulder, lowering her voice.
“You’re looking good. So I guess all is well with you and Alessio?”
“Yes.” “I’m glad. He and the kids deserve a break.”
Gianna
It had been a while since I had had dinner as a family at the beach house. I could tell how immensely pleased Mia was with this new development. She had been trying to convince me to make one for months. Emiliano joined me for a quick Negroni before dinner. I caught him looking at Gianna in a way that made me nervous.
He would not make a move. His self-preservation was strong. He checked out every attractive woman and, unfortunately, he didn’t stop there. He betrayed Mia in every pregnancy up to now. The first time I had found out, I had threatened him, told him I would cut his cock into little pieces if he didn’t stop, but Mia had asked me to stay out of her marriage.
She loved him and preferred to pretend she was not cheating on him. I honored her wish and Emiliano worked harder to keep his adultery a secret. Mia had a sense of six for infidelity; she had figured it out early on when I had found out about Gaia’s affair, but I had never told her with whom. Gianna was the only person to whom I had told every detail. I wasn’t even sure why.
My father and Faro were the obvious choices for such a confession, but with Gianna I felt a stronger bond despite our age difference. We were complete opposites, from our outlook on life to our experiences to our level of goodness and respective badness, but we complemented each other.
Mia gave me a proud look from her seat at the table, as if she could read my mind. She had been against Gaia from the beginning and in favor of Gianna from the first moment she had seen her. She was right about my first wife, and I hoped she was with Gianna, too.
The next morning, I woke up shortly after sunset, wanting to wake Daniel as I had done for his last two birthdays, but his bed was empty. I found him on the floor in front of the windows, throwing the dog ball so he could chase it. His throws were not very far or well aimed, but the look of determined concentration followed by joy on his face clutched my chest.
“Happy birthday.” Daniel jumped, dropping the ball. It rolled toward me, then bumped against my bare foot. Loulou didn’t dare accept it. I picked it up and rolled it on the ground toward Daniele. He caught it and threw it again. Loulou enthusiastically returned it to him. Daniele caught the ball and looked down at it. “We will open your presents when Gianna and Simona wake up.”
He raised the ball. It took me a moment to understand why. I approached him slowly, worried that he would change his mind, then grabbed the ball and threw it across the room to Loulou. She rushed behind him as if possessed, then returned with it. This time he dropped it in front of me. I lay down beside Daniel and held out the ball to him.
“Your turn.” He met my gaze for the first time in many months. His eyes were questioning, and if he only asked, I would tell him everything he needed to hear. He curled his little fingers around the ball and threw it. We spent a long time this way until Loulou started panting and finally brought her ball into her basket, finished chasing.
That’s when I noticed Gianna half-hidden in the doorframe, her eyes so sweet that my heart skipped a beat. She clutched Simona, who still looked sleepy, to her chest.
“Happy birthday, birthday boy,” she said as she walked in. “How about a cake?” Gianna lit three candles on top of a cake, which was sprinkled with what I learned were funfetti. Daniel’s eyes went wide as he picked up the cake. I lifted him onto one of the chairs so he could get a good look at it.
“You have to blow out the candles and make a wish.” Simona tried to move away from Gianna to touch the candles, and her face contorted in frustration when she couldn’t.
“Do you need help?” Gianna asked Daniel as she blew out a single candle on her first attempt. “You’re three years old, you’re a big boy. You can do it,” I told him. He gave a small nod and blew even harder. This time both candles blew out.
“Good.” Gianna was beaming as she cut the first slice of the cake. When she took it out, its colorful layers became visible.
“Wow,” sighed Daniel. I froze, unable to believe what I had heard. A simple word, the first word Daniel had spoken in my presence in months. Wow, indeed. I couldn’t help but agree with him, not only about the rainbow funfetti cake. Gianna set down a plate in front of me and reclined in a chair with Simona on her lap, who took advantage of the moment to stick her fingers into Gianna’s slice of cake.
Gianna’s laughter rang out like a bell as she grabbed Simona’s small hand and put it in her mouth to lick away the buttercream before wiping away the remains with a napkin. I couldn’t stop staring at her. She noticed, and her expression went from embarrassment to confusion. She felt her face as if she expected there to be more cake, then removed her bangs in the nervous gesture she often expressed.
I could not believe that I had focused on what I perceived as wrong with Gianna-such as her bangs, her extravagant clothes, her age-when I had first met her, instead of realizing what was good.
And there were so many things that even the little annoyances went by the wayside. Gianna was perfect for me and my children. Perhaps because of her age, because she was still youthfully optimistic, naively reckless, and boldly nonconformist. She was not what I would have wanted in a wife, but hell, if she wasn’t exactly what I needed.