I touched his arm.
“I’m fine.” He squinted his eyes.
“I can tell you’re lying.”
I’m fine, really. Just a little overwhelmed. Daniel doesn’t speak and barely eats. I’m trying to break through his walls, to find out what happened, but I don’t know how.” I accompanied Christian to the living room, even though I was worried about Daniele. I would check on him later if he did not come down soon. Loulou followed her closely, never losing sight of Christian. She was brave, I had to give it to him.
We settled on the couch where I had Sybil make cakes, sandwiches, cookies and coffee. “The child has lost his mother. Of course he is traumatized.” “I know, but there’s more. He is avoiding Alessio.”
“Maybe you should let the past rest, Gianna.” The way she spoke it was more warning than advice, and her worried expression only confirmed my suspicion. I set Simona down on the floor when her wiggling became too much. She crawled away immediately, heading for the blanket with her toys.
“What do you know that you’re not telling me?”
Christian’s mouth thinned.
“I know Alessio doesn’t want people to mess in his past, especially where Gaia is concerned, and I think you should respect his wish.”
“To protect him or me?” Christian picked up a cookie and bit into it, obviously biding his time. “Both… And those children, too.” He nodded to Simona, who clutched a stuffed unicorn that laughed shrilly every time he did so, making her laugh too. Her eyes sparkled with joy as she looked at me.
“How can I help Daniel if I don’t know what happened?”
“The boy will come back. One day he will be Underboss. His mother’s death will not be the last trauma he will suffer.” My stomach clenched at my brother’s cold assessment.
“You’re worried that Alessio will hurt me if I try to find out what happened to Gaia.” Christian picked up his coffee cup and took a sip, pondering his next words if his expression was any indication.
“I don’t think you need to worry. Alessio has been good to me so far, and he is good to his children.” Christian touched my hand, looking at me as Alessio sometimes did, as if I were a naive child.
“Let me tell you something about men like Alessio that I know because I am that kind of man. Like him, I will be Underboss. Like him, I survived and did horrible things to make myself strong enough for that task. To get to a position of power in the mob, you need a dark side. The stronger the dark side, the more likely you are to get into a position of power and stay there. No one threatens Alessio’s power.”
“I know you all have a dark side. You, Dad, Alessio, but none of you have ever hurt me nor do I think you will.” Christian laughed bitterly.
“Sometimes the dark comes out when it shouldn’t.” Elijah appeared in the doorway.
“Are you all right?”
My eyebrows came together. “Sure.” I glanced at the clock. It was almost five o’clock. “Why don’t you leave early? You’ve been working long hours these last few weeks. Christian will stay and protect me.” Elijah looked at my brother. I couldn’t read the look in his expression, but he definitely had a hint of suspicion.
“Alessio ordered me to keep an eye on you.” The way she said it sounded less like protection and more like surveillance. Was there any need to have another trust talk with Alessio? Christian squinted his eyes.
“I can protect my sister, don’t worry.”
“Leave,” I ordered.
Elijah nodded, but it was obvious that he did not like the idea. Nevertheless, he turned and left. After a moment, the front door opened and then closed again. Was he going to report to Alessio again? Christian shook his head.
“Alessio has you on a short leash.” I couldn’t talk about my marriage with him. It would only show that Alessio was right that he had a hard time trusting me.
“How is Mom doing in her new role as a rising star in our circles?” Christian scoffed, but accepted my offer to change the subject.
“She sees that she is in danger now that they had to accommodate Kiara.”
“Our cousin has done nothing wrong. The traitor is her father, not her.” “You know how it is. She will still suffer for her sins. Children always do for the sins of their fathers.” Was he referring to Dad’s mediocre reputation, which led many people to believe that even Christian would not be a good Underboss someday? Or was he referring to Alessio and Daniel? “Today I will call and talk to Kiara. I wanted to give her a few days to recover from what had happened.”
“I doubt you can recover after seeing your mother killed by your father.”
“Are we still talking about our uncle, or are you trying to hint at something else? If you’re trying to tell me something in a subtle way, it’s not working.” Christian took another cookie. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Of course you do. I thought you didn’t know what happened to Gaia? Was that a lie?”
“No. I just think it’s strange that Daniel is avoiding Alessio and not talking. This kind of trauma usually requires a strong catalyst.”
“Losing your mother in any way at that age is a strong catalyst.” Christian gave a strained smile. “At least, Dad is still happy with your bond with Alessio.” After that we talked only about Dad, who was already reaping the benefits of my marriage to Alessio. Fewer people talked about him behind his back, too afraid of my husband. I doubted Alessio would come to Dad’s aid, though, unless I asked him to. Simona tightened her face. I sighed.
“That expression means I have to change her diaper. Do you want to stay down here?”
Christian shook his head.
“I can handle it. I’ve seen worse.” I picked up Simona and we headed upstairs to her bedroom. On the way, I noticed that the door to Gaia’s old room was ajar. I laid Simona down on the changing table. I would check on Daniele later. Christian’s face contorted in disgust when I opened the diaper. Surely he had never changed his son’s diaper before.
“I thought you were going to make it?” I teased her, even as my nose twitched from the stench, especially when Simona ate any kind of meat before, like today.