Simona giggled. Gianna looked up and smiled, disheveled, happy, hopeful. I turned and walked out. “I will prepare the bottle,” I insisted. Although I wished she wouldn’t, Gianna followed me downstairs. She watched me the whole time as I prepared the formula. I could feel her questions hovering in the room between us. She didn’t ask, just kept cooing at my daughter. When the bottle was ready, I went to her. She leaned against me. “Why don’t you feed her while I hold her?” I stared into those blue eyes, remembering the way I felt when I stood on the dunes in front of my beach house, peering out toward the ocean.
Gianna
Alessio kept his promise. The next day she returned home at dinnertime. To be honest, I was surprised. I didn’t think he would keep the promise he made with my naked body on top of him. Maybe I had my own trust issues to work out.
He seemed surprised when he walked into the kitchen where we had been having dinner for the last few days. Sybil got up from where she was sitting, obviously unsure of what to do. Elijah also stood up and tilted his head before grabbing his plate and heading through the back door, probably toward the guardhouse. He and I had cleared things up the morning after Alessio had informed him that I knew what was going on. Elia had been embarrassed afterward, obviously embarrassed, but I had told him that he had done his job and that I was not angry. After all, he couldn’t have said “no” to Alessio.
“Why don’t you eat in the dining room?” he asked. Simona smiled when she saw her father. Her fingers and cheeks were smeared with crushed peas, but Alessio didn’t seem to care. He walked over to her, placed a kiss on her forehead, and barely escaped her dirty hands before she could ruin his dress.
Daniel did not react in any way; he merely clutched his fork with the slice of carrot stuck in his fist. For a moment, however, I caught the longing in his eyes. He wanted to be close to his father, but something stopped him. Alessio turned to Daniel and kissed the top of his head before moving closer to me. Daniele watched us carefully. Alessio touched my shoulder and squeezed it lightly before sitting down in front of me. I couldn’t deny it. I was disappointed. I would have liked him to kiss me. Maybe he was worried about how Daniel would react. After all, his mother had only been dead six months. “I’d rather have dinner in the dining room,” he said simply. I hated that there was a distance between us when we were not alone. “I didn’t know you were coming home for dinner.”
“I told you I would, and it will stay that way. If I can’t make dinner, I’ll call you.” Sybil set a plate in front of her with roast pork, mashed potatoes and maple Brussels sprouts. He nodded to her. “I’ll go check the laundry,” he said and slipped out, leaving the half-eaten plate behind. “We can have dinner in the dining room from now on,” I said. Daniel grabbed a piece of his pork and threw it under the table. Alessio’s expression turned to anger, but I quickly shook my head and said to Daniele, “Now it’s your turn to have a bite.” Daniele stabbed a piece of pork and stuffed it into his mouth, chewing diligently.
Alessio frowned. “What’s going on?” His voice was moderately calm, but I could tell he did not approve of the situation. “Daniele and I have an agreement. She can feed Loulou with the leftovers if she takes a bite herself.” Alessio let out a sigh. Simona began to whimper, stretching her arms toward him. He stood up, wiped her face and hands with a wet washcloth and placed her in his lap before continuing with dinner. I stifled a smile. It was an adorable sight: Alessio dressed in his three-piece suit, looking imposing and powerful, with little Simona on his lap in her sunflower dress. He had not even complained about the flowers. Again, Daniel’s eyes shifted to Alessio, who was staring at Simona and didn’t notice. I gently stroked his head. He peered at me, his little face was so sad and helpless that it turned my stomach. If only he would speak to me.
Feeling Alessio’s eyes on me, I picked up my fork and took a bite of my pork. “How was your day?” So far he hadn’t told me anything about what he had done during the day, but he hadn’t come home early enough to talk. “The usual.”
Perhaps I should have expected such an evasive answer. After all, Simona and Daniele were in the room. Talking about his type of activity with them might mark them even more than their mother’s death. “What did you do?” “We went to the dog park again, right?” I said to Daniel, who gave a small nod before dropping a piece of pork on the floor. “And Elijah helped me set up my painting room.” I couldn’t wait to paint again, to lose myself in my art.
Alessio’s gaze brushed over my face in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. I straightened my bangs, wondering if he still hated them. They were part of me, always had been. “I thought we could spend the weekend at my beach house.” My eyes widened. It had been a while since I had been at the beach.
Alessio tried to meet Daniel’s gaze. The boy had definitely cheered up hearing about the beach. “What do you think, Daniele? We can build sandcastles like last time.” Daniele shrugged slightly, which was something. Alessio and I took the children to bed after dinner. Alessio put Simona in her crib while I helped Daniele change. It was easier that way. Daniele did not get more upset, and so just before bedtime he was better. I covered him with his blanket when he was lying in bed and tousled his hair. “Loulou will love the beach.”