“No, the living come first,” Mikhail soften my guilt, “to know how he died is a huge weight lifted. I had nightmares of leaving him to freeze or starve to death.”
“I don’t think he knew what happened,” I added, “I don’t think he suffered.” The hacked up face returned to my mind again. No, no one lived for more than a second after a trauma like that. Mikhail gave me a fatherly smile.
“Would you return and show me where he’s buried?” Mikhail asked. My first thought was absolutely not. I shoved it aside and considered his pain. I knew I wouldn’t want to leave my family member to rot on a mountain top. I glanced at Tamara, who was in a deep discussion with Meemaw. I wouldn’t leave her, that’s for sure.
“Yes,” I agreed, “I can do that.”
“Good.” Mikhail smiled, patting me on my shoulder, “very good.” He paused for a moment, “I really should say hello to Tamara. I understand you two are an item.”
“Engaged.”
“Well, at least something good came of the crash,” Mikhail said as I led him to our picnic area.
“Mikhail!” Tamara shouted as we approached. She brought Milena with her smile to meet up with us. It made sense, them knowing each other from the rescue. They traded words, and Mikhail doted over Milena for a few minutes. I was kind of proud of the compliments I only half understood.
“I fear my brother and I were the cause of the accident,” Mikhail said in English. His tone never wavered from the pleasant conversation he had with Tamara, so she assumed it was a repeat of what they had discussed.
“Pardon?”
“Nikolay and I work as mediators,” Mikhail took a deep breath, “a year ago we had our hands full in Ukraine, talking between the Russian separatists and Euro-centric loyalists. The altimeter failure was sabotage.”
“I didn’t even know there was a mechanical reason,” I admitted. Mikhail tickled Melina; I suspected to keep Tamara unaware of what we were discussing.
“The pilot was yelling at the altimeter when went into the mountain,” Mikhail smiled, belying the real conversation, he kept saying ‘this isn’t 4, 000 meters.’ I found the cockpit and the altimeter had been misadjusted. I can only say I’m sorry to be the cause.” He paused a moment, smiling at Melina, “then again; she is a very beautiful little girl. I am glad something good came from it.”
“And you want a trip back to find your brother?” I asked. I imagined all sorts of repeat attempts.
“I don’t charter in advance anymore,” Mikhail said, “no one knows my full itinerary, not even me. You still willing to go?”
“Yes,” I said without thinking. He could have lied to me, so I took his trust and added some of my own. Mikhail changed to Armenian and spoke with Tamara whose face became concerned. She looked at me then back at Mikhail and said yes, nodding with hesitancy.
“I told Tamara what you agreed too and asked her if it was all right,” Mikhail said, “I left out the sabotage unless you wish me to tell her.”
“No,” I said, adding a comfortable smile. I moved closer to Tamara and gave her a kiss on her cheek. I knew she didn’t like the idea of me going back to the mountain, but Mikhail saved our lives, and his brother deserved some respect.
It was later that evening when I decided hiding things wasn’t a good way to start a marriage. With Ruben’s help, I explained my impending trip back to Azerbaijani next week and the cause of the crash to Yana, the brothers, my parents, and a frightened Tamara.
“You not go,” Tamara said in simple enough language.
“I have to agree,” my mother added, not needing to wait for Ruben. Tamara’s face was all the translation she needed.
“I think I have to,” I said, “we would have died up there if Mikhail hadn’t come back for us. I owe him for Tamara and Melina.” Tamara shifted closer to me, not wanting me to go and unable to disagree.
“I go with you,” Garik interjected. He had an adamant look about him. I was about to disagree when Yana interrupted. I had to wait for the translation.
“Yana thinks Garik should go with you,” Ruben said, “he climbs with a group a few times a year and knows a lot about the mountains.” I looked at Garik, who nodded firmly.
“I don’t like this,” my mother said. There was a mother’s apprehension in her eyes. She never liked me traveling around the world and now I was heading back to the crash site. Yana nodded when Ruben translated.
“Men do stupid things for stupid reasons,” Yana commented, “at least this stupid thing is for a good reason.” I think she was talking about her boys as well as me. She understood a brother wanting his brother back. My mother conceded when Ruben translated. She knew I was going, and she owed me some leeway after the way she treated Tamara.
I stood up and held out my hand to Garik. He rose and shook it. “Thanks,” I said, “I could use the help.” He wore a proud smile when Ruben translated. I fully understood then that Tamara came with a family. They would risk for me as much as they would risk for each other. I vowed to do the same.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Tamara was a nervous bundle. She had agreed to my going back to the mountain, but was terrified I may not come back. When Melina was finally asleep, I went to work easing her fears. Though we had shared much, I had never ignored my own desires to heighten hers. I put aside my selfish needs and began with loosening the muscles in her shoulders.
Tamara moaned and sunk her body into my manipulations. She tried to turn, but I kept her there, facing away from me as my fingers worked on her shoulders. She whispered something about her fears, but the words broke up as I worked the knots out of her neck. She reached behind her and caressed my thighs as my lips followed my fingers along her neck. Such soft sweet things came from her mouth.
I laid her on her back and, with her mild protests, began to kiss my way down her body. I found that I could cause little tremors with light flicks of my tongue. She only tried once to lift me into position to join with her, then gave up in a giggle when I found her belly button.
The smell of a woman in desire is intoxicating. Years of evolution had honed the scent into a bouquet that took my breath away. I forced myself to slow and tease the inside of her thighs with light kisses. When Tamara sensed my intentions, I heard her whisper something. I glanced up into frightened eyes. I smiled and she lay her head back down, unsure of what was about to happen.
I made love to her with my lips. After a swift intake of breath, Tamara’s moans defied her initial fears, and I felt her muscles surrender to me. I loved how I could make her squirm. Her body reacted in the most wondrous ways. I had no idea what she whispered between her gasps, but I took it as encouragement, so pleased when her hands combed through my hair as I sought her pleasure.
“Jonathan,” she almost yelled. Her back arched and I felt her body let loose, shaking as I lovingly teased her most precious flower. I continued as her body collapsed, her hands caressing my head. Suddenly she began laughing, pushing me away. I relented as she now found me more ticklish than arousing.
“What you do to me?” Tamara smiled, pulling me up her body. I could see the joy in her eyes. She was weaker and stronger all at the same time. I was weirdly proud of myself. A man who had just fully conquered a woman. She rolled me over with laughter in her eyes and straddled me. It took her no time to conquer me.
“You come back to me,” Tamara ordered as she rested in my arms.
“Yes, my love,” I responded. I could still feel her apprehension, but I had dulled it a bit.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Mikhail organized the whole trip. He booked flights and then canceled them when we arrived at the airport. He then hired a new charter on the spot. His carefulness reassured Garik and I. Garik brought a backpack full of climbing gear just in case. He made me carry an additional length of rope that I hope we wouldn’t need.
We couldn’t delay the trip since winter came early to the mountains. A blizzard would be deadly though we had enough gear to survive it if necessary. It was four days after the picnic when we flew over my first home with Tamara. I couldn’t see the hovel, but our makeshift flag was shredded and tangled in the tree it had been tied to. Tamara’s signal was still ingenious.
We set down about a mile east, the only clearing on the ridge large enough for a helicopter. The pilot was skilled, somehow putting down on the gradual slope without issue. He stayed with the helicopter as Mikhail, Garik and myself hiked back to the campsite carrying the stretcher to bring home Mikhail’s brother.
The hovel was surprisingly intact. I smiled at its construction. The inside had obviously been invaded by storms, but the outer shell was still solid, and I suspected, would still block a good portion of the wind. I crawled inside, looking at what was left of our first home. I could see that Tamara had left everything when she was winched up to the rescue helicopter. I found only one thing worth taking back with me. A little humor for my return.
Nikolay was exactly where I had left him. There didn’t seem to be any animals besides birds on the ridge, nothing large enough to disturb his remains. Unfortunately, decomposition wasn’t so lenient. Through Mikhail’s tears, we pulled Nikolay from under the tree. I held my breath as we worked, not wanting to breathe in what looked horrible to the eyes. Both Garik and I had to walk off in the middle of it. I lost my breakfast. I assumed Garik experienced the same.
Mikhail had assumed the worst and brought a black body bag with him. I was glad for his forethought. The task became infinitely easier when we zipped Nikolay inside. We took turns carrying the stretcher though Mikhail’s age limited the time he could help. It took over an hour to get back to the helicopter and load Nikolay on board.
Our supplies were, thankfully, unneeded as we took a day and a half to return to Armenia. Garik was amazingly unfrazzled traveling in foreign countries. He seemed to relish the adventure, minus the dead body. I was impressed with his confidence.
Mikhail left us at the Yerevan airport as he took off to Russia to bury his brother. His thanks were almost embarrassing, not to mention his constant apologizing for being the cause of the crash. I accepted his card and a promise that if I should ever need him, I would call.